Is my man tight?

[Roxy75]

My boyfriend seems happy for me to pay for an awful lot. I'm first with my purse out as that's how I am. I'd hate for someone to judge me for being grabby. He never offers me money and just accepts I pay for tea out or cinema visit etc...
We get on so well and spend so much time laughing but the financial side is starting to give me the ick. How can someone let someone else pay for them and not feel the need to get their wallet out. I'm embarrassed for him. How do I deal with this without causing offence to him? He'll visit my home and I'll cook tea. I'll visit his and have to go halves on a Chinese or I'll end up paying cos it's awkward. Advice anyone?

That's weird and he probably doesn't see you as long term future potential. Men invest in women they are interested in.

Sit on your hands. Don't get your wallet out and don't pay for take out, it will be interesting to see what he does. Alternatively say "Your turn, I paid last time".

Keep your money in your pocket, look him in the eye, smile and say ‘It’s your turn.’

I couldn’t stand it and it would put me clean off him. I’m like you, I always expect to pay my way and I’m happy to treat others. Tightness is such a turn off.

I'm embarrassed for him

I’m more embarrassed for you!

How do I deal with this without causing offence to him?

and what about the offence he’s causing to you by making you take on all the financial burden? How is it that he’s been taking you for a ride for however long and you’re the one sat online wondering how can you ask him to pay for a Chinese or a cinema ticket without ‘causing offence’? He should be offended and deeply ashamed (I have a feeling he won’t be).

You will just have to do what he does. When he goes yours suggest a takeaway instead of cooking and just hold back on paying, see what happens. Same if you go out anywhere.
Does he have a job ? What's his background ?

Get rid of this cheap stake

So does he ever pay? Does he ask for half of the takeaway cost outright or do you just give it to him immediately?

Well unfortunately it’s a situation you have allowed to develop because as you’ve said, you’re always in there first - you need to be clear when it’s his turn and sit on your hands a bit more. If he pushes back then it’s time to have a serious conversation about equal financial contributions. I’m embarrassed for both of you if this has been going on for some time.

He is showing you who he is …

Dump him. Imagine what it will be like if you shack up with him/get married/have kids?! (Or if you get ill, and he CBA to support you?!)

A tight fisted man is breathtakingly unattractive. I don't know if you have shagged yet, but I bet he is crap in bed too. Probably selfish as fuck.

Throw this one back.

He never goes half on a takeaway, or anything. I feel like he thinks I've got more money than him. He's a Director of a company and I work 2 jobs. I've not had a good relationship history. But, he's been kind, communicative and fun. I feel like a meal ticket but don't know how to talk to him as I don't like being unkind.

You're not being kind, you're being a wet lettuce and he's taking advantage of you.

Stop being a doormat. He’s just using you.

Are you so desperate not to be single that you will put up with any man no matter how shit he is,?

Yes, he is tight. It’s not sexy.

Thanks for the replies. I know it's a situation I need to sort. I'm not desperate at all. I was happy single and I'm very independent. I'm not a wet lettuce btw I just like an easy life x

He is not interested in you. Writing’s on the wall.

Don’t worry about causing offence. Just tell him.

I’d just say ‘I think it’s probably your turn’ or next time you DO pay say ‘I’ll get it, like I always do.’

Or get braver and say ‘For a company director you always seem to be completely skint! Are you only with me for my money? Ha ha’

Think you need to start chipping in with some comments.

Oh ffs. It’s not unkind to point out that it his turn to pay. If you can’t address this incredibly simple issue for fear of what he might think are you ready to be dating?

Dump him and find someone new. People who are mean with money are mean with love and with everything else.

There used to be a phrase on here which I've slightly forgotten.. It involved moose burgers.
Essentially you're not only providing this man with free pizza you're giving him yourself as well.

That's not an attractive or even remotely decent man.

You can sit on your hands. Maybe just for the next 3 dates.

If there's no radical change you'll probably find some grassroots free comedy events near you and have a funny night out that brings more joy to your soul.

So glad I posted as you've all confirmed what I already knew. I'll take action, mention my annoyance. If he ends it then I'll be ok cos I know I'm not wrong x