Is my man tight?

[Roxy75]

My boyfriend seems happy for me to pay for an awful lot. I'm first with my purse out as that's how I am. I'd hate for someone to judge me for being grabby. He never offers me money and just accepts I pay for tea out or cinema visit etc...
We get on so well and spend so much time laughing but the financial side is starting to give me the ick. How can someone let someone else pay for them and not feel the need to get their wallet out. I'm embarrassed for him. How do I deal with this without causing offence to him? He'll visit my home and I'll cook tea. I'll visit his and have to go halves on a Chinese or I'll end up paying cos it's awkward. Advice anyone?

You are the very definition of 'a wet lettuce'! Being walked all over just because you 'like an easy life' IS being wet! Nobody with any sort of spine would allow this 🤷‍♀️

Unkind? It isn’t unkind to not want to be taken advantage of. He isn’t being kind to you is he, letting you pay for everything and cook the meals at his house?
Tell him it’s his turn to pay because you paid the last time or 3 or 5 times. If he doesn’t like that, it tells you all you need to know.
Stinginess is very unattractive and I think you know this isn’t going anywhere.

He’s the absolute opposite of kind, communicative and fun making you pay for everything! How is it fun for you having to foot the bill for both of you constantly? You’re working two jobs to fund a man’s life!

Massive ick!!

Has he EVER treated you? I'm definitely a go halves type of woman, but he sounds cheap and I would find that deeply unattractive.

How can he just stand there while you pay and pay and pay again? Yuck. He's actually more than tight he's a sponger and taking advantage of you.

This. ^

Only one piece of advice. Dump. This is going to get worse over the years.

I would just mention to him that you seem to be paying for everything and you just can't afford it. If he takes offence so be it, you'll get your answer to your issue.

I wouldn't even mention it I'd just not go out with him again, even if you talked and he took the hint you would find him always arguing his side of what he has paid for and now it's your turn... it would be constant ways of him trying to wiggle his way out of paying for something.
He won't change, just get rid.

Easy life unfortunately means people trample all over you.

You can be assertive without being aggressive. Enforce good boundaries around you by only accepting good behaviour towards yourself. You are worth it!

😂😂😂😂😂😂you are the type of friend I’d love to have !

Honestly. I’d be kind and fun towards anyone paying for my social life and takeaways! No wonder he’s in such good spirits.

i couldn’t fancy a man who let me pay for everything

Total scrounging piss taker. Assuming you have more money? So that means you want to spend it all on him. Tell him you're only going halves on stuff as your own budget is tight. Don't be apologetic or embarrassed, just matter of fact.
I'd say, oh well seeing as I paid last time...in the hope he'd at least level up by 'treating' you once.
But even if he's on the bones of his arse he shouldn't be expecting you to fund his shit. It's exploitative and selfish.

Forget your purse and see what happens 😂

Turn to him and pleasantly say "your turn?".
See how he reacts.

As my Gran used to say about tight fisted mean folk, your boyfriend sounds like he could peel an orange in his pocket and pop some in his mouth when you’re not looking 🍊

Send him an invoice for his share for the last 3 months, he's a company director he knows what quarterly invoicing is.

You are allowing him to take the piss out of you by being nice! Stop it now by discussing it with him or dumping him.

It won't get better

No problem with one half of a couple paying more if it suits their circumstances but definitely a problem for anyone to be assuming the other will pay. I am embarrassed for him. Not good enough!

Sorry I think he's just not that into you and doesn't see you as long-term.
Otherwise he'd be making the effort to be an equal partner and a good potential long-term prospect.

You're basically paying for his time and company presently. If he was into you then you wouldn't have to do that

Of course you get on well and he's laughing. You're financing his pleasure time. You pay for everything, cook for him and I'm assuming, give him sex.
What's not to laugh about for him?

I think you should stop dating and really sort yourself out in terms of people-pleasing and boundaries.

Do you do this with friends as well or just men?

It's not "unkind" to expect a boyfriend to share costs. It's not "unkind" to point out uneven effort and to have your own boundaries.

In the long term, being so unable to assert boundaries isn't going to make your life easier, it's going to make it much much harder and worse.

If you don't start valuing yourself a bit more and being assertive, you're just going to keep on ending up with users and losers.