Is my man tight?

[Roxy75]

My boyfriend seems happy for me to pay for an awful lot. I'm first with my purse out as that's how I am. I'd hate for someone to judge me for being grabby. He never offers me money and just accepts I pay for tea out or cinema visit etc...
We get on so well and spend so much time laughing but the financial side is starting to give me the ick. How can someone let someone else pay for them and not feel the need to get their wallet out. I'm embarrassed for him. How do I deal with this without causing offence to him? He'll visit my home and I'll cook tea. I'll visit his and have to go halves on a Chinese or I'll end up paying cos it's awkward. Advice anyone?

Good grief OP why waste your breath on such a freeloader?

Dump his pitiful arse and raise your standards!

I had an ex like this. He was a high earner and I was a single mum on a very low income. It was always me that paid.
He would pick expensive restaurants and then expect me to foot the bill. His hand would hover over his wallet but he would never get it out.

I ended up getting major ick and leaving him in town one night and got rid of him.

It’s a no from me.

I’d have dumped him the second time he swerved paying for something when it was clearly his turn.

If you bring this up I predict he will gaslight and imply you’re making a fuss over nothing ‘oh I didn’t think you were the type to count pennies/keep track. It’s a few quid here and there what’s the fuss? Didn’t know you were struggling’ etc etc.

Good luck either getting him to cough up or hopefully in getting rid!

💐

I have someone close to me in a relationship with a tight man. They have kids together and he has never contributed anything towards them. It has been our family that bought their baby items. If they go for a meal he pays for himself etc.

These type of men never get better.

I really want to see the outcome of this 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

ICK. I have no problem at all with going halves but happily getting a free ride from you is just so deeply unattractive.

Bin it

Yes he is
How can you beat to even give him the time of day .. never mind shag him 🤢

Bear not beat

Director my arse!

what of how to be a tight ass?

please update us with his pathetic excuse!

This
Stinginess is a dealbreaker for me.

He's perfectly happy being unkind and unfair to you...

You need to be able to talk to your bf about money. Say 'your turn to pay'. He's taking the absolute piss.

From his point of view, you're perfect for him, and he'll be telling his family and friends that as well. The reality is he's taking you for a mug, and he's a miserable, tight arsed bastard. You know what to do...

I bet if you raise it he will call you money obsessed or a gold digger!

He knows he hasn't contributed and freeloaders are good company because that's all they bring to the table!

I couldn't face having anything to do with someone like that.

Been there. Somehow you end up.being uncomfortable not them. My ex had it down to.an art form. Moved onto.to.someone wealthier than me. Left me thousands in debt. First and last time that has happened to.me. This not good OP

"I've not had a good relationship history. But, he's been kind, communicative and fun. I feel like a meal ticket but don't know how to talk to him as I don't like being unkind".

To be frank I am not surprised re your poor relationship history, this man is another poor choice and you've actively been allowing this man to walk all over you out of some desire of yours to have an easy life and not be unkind. He's taking you for a fool and no wonder he's laughing.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. If you have people pleasing tendencies address these in therapy (this often arises out of wanting to please a difficult or emotionally unavailable parent). Dump this user bloke and do not date further until your boundaries are a lot healthier than they are at now.

@Roxy75 this man isn’t kind.

He is earning much more than you but wants 50/50 or you paying for everything. That’s not being kind. That’s being grabby.

Compare that to my friends who, when I stopped working due to health reasons, immediately took over any takeaways/meals together because they knew my income has dropped down significantly. And I had then to do a lot of work to convince them to let me pay too!

Sorry OP but I honestly don’t think he really cares or is that interested in you. 🌺 Most men when they are with someone that they respect and want to be with long term they will do their best to make the best impression - they are kind, treat their partner by buying them dinner, purchase flowers and chocolates for them or at the very least, take their turn with paying etc. He sounds like he just wants the freebies that you can offer - the food, drink, trips out etc. You spend your money and he saves his. I bet he’s got a lot of money saved up too if he is a director! If he is tight with money now then it is very doubtful that he will ever change. I think you should move on and not waste anymore time on this relationship.

I had one like this, if we went for coffee he’d just stand there and I’d pay out of sheer embarrassment. Takeaway he’d just sit there and again, I’d pay. Never got invited to his, come to mine and me paying for the food etc never once offered. Like a mug and because I genuinely did love him, I put up with it for a long time. I was a single mum, he had no kids and a house share but all happy to sponge off me. Sadly, it will not get better

Have you had the talk?

Not had the chat with him yet. Seeing him tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes...

I'd say outright we are going to have to start going halves on everything as I can't afford to keep you.

I can't see what acceptable response he could make. "Sorry, I just didn't realise I should pay sometimes. Now I do, so I will contribute in future." "Sorry, I was taking advantage because you were letting me. Now you've said you won't put up with it, I will stop." "In future, could you always let me know what I should pay."

How did your chat go OP?

Boundaries learn to say no without feeling guilty just stop offering all together give him the chance to step up he might actually understand then how much you do