Is my man tight?

[Roxy75]

My boyfriend seems happy for me to pay for an awful lot. I'm first with my purse out as that's how I am. I'd hate for someone to judge me for being grabby. He never offers me money and just accepts I pay for tea out or cinema visit etc...
We get on so well and spend so much time laughing but the financial side is starting to give me the ick. How can someone let someone else pay for them and not feel the need to get their wallet out. I'm embarrassed for him. How do I deal with this without causing offence to him? He'll visit my home and I'll cook tea. I'll visit his and have to go halves on a Chinese or I'll end up paying cos it's awkward. Advice anyone?

He’s a tight-fisted cheapskate and a user to boot. Stop paying for his drinks, meals out and takeaways from now on. Practice saying ‘it’s your turn’ or ‘’we’ll split this’ or whatever it takes to get him to pay his own way. If you’re in a cafe/restaurant, just pay for what you’ve had. It shouldn’t cause offence to expect someone to pay their own way. If it does, tough luck - his stingy behaviour and willingness to take advantage of you financially is pretty offensive in its own right.

@Roxy75 My now husband was like that initially. Someone once said to me: A man doesn’t truly love you until they share with you what they deeply love and what they don’t have enough of. For my hubby it was his kids (and ho he loved deeply - naturally) and money (which he didn’t have loads of). He is now the most caring and sharing husband. Please give your other half a chance to just grow into this relationship with you.

*who

He's tighter than 2 coats of paint.

And i think that's very unattractive.

He doesn't love you - total user! Men usually invest in women they love.

How can someone let someone else pay for them and not feel the need to get their wallet out. I'm embarrassed for him. How do I deal with this without causing offence to him?

Why would he be offended by you telling him that going forward he has to pay for himself, if he is a decent person?

He isn’t, is he? Decent people don’t constantly freeload and gobble up food that is bought and prepared for them without reciprocating. So why are you bothered about offending him?

As for how he can let you pay- there are people who believe easy targets are there to be exploited. They have no compunction about taking everything they can get and will bleed people dry if allowed to, then move on to the next mug without a backward glance.

The questions you really need to be asking is why you are essentially buying yourself a shabby boyfriend, why you have allowed him to use you and why you don’t think you deserve a whole lot better?

Dump him and if you find yourself heading down a similar path in the future, stop and walk away.

If youre both working you should be splitting dating costs down the middle or Quid pro quo. Maybe a person in his past took his finances for granted.
Either way, it's time for you to mention your annoyance.

Maybe a person in his past took his finances for granted.

It doesn’t matter if someone else took him for granted before.
Having bad experiences doesn’t entitle you to be a twat/tight/taking advantage of your current partner, even less so when you end taking financial advantage of someone who has less than you,