Would you leave your DH if you found out he'd had a fling?

[mummyjaguar]

Just wondered following on from other threads what most of us would do.

I think so. But can't say for sure.

Dh would leave me, without a doubt and would fight me tooth and nail for custody of the dc.

As far as he is concerned, yes, in a second.

In reality, I've no idea. I suspect I'd try to make it work but I'd end up leaving a couple of years afterwards when I couldn't move past it, IYSWIM.

Without question. I adore him but if he threw it away like that he would be out!

if it was a one off, but he still loved me, was regretful and wanted to sort things out, i'd give it a bloody good go. 10 years would be a lot throw away over one night. Not that i ever think i'd be in that position...DH wouldn't do it, and even if he wanted to, he doesn't have the time or energy!

i would be going nowhere! but initially i think we would split...permenantly, i am not so sure

Depends. One night stand - possibly forgiveable after alot of grovelling and only if kids were involved. Actual fling/affair - no way. I'd never be able to trust him again. Knowing that he was/is emotionally attatched to a woman other than his wife would be too much.

Probably. Depends on circumstances.

It is impossible to say how you will react in a situation you have never been in.

I hear many who will say " if i found out he had kissed someone else i would be off" but they have never been in the position to nkow how they would react.
It the same with people who say they would run am ile at the first sign of controlling behaviour.

these situations are rarely black and white and your reaction would depend on so many factors it is impossible to predit what you would do.

I always said I would leave DH if he had an affair, the he had one
We did seperate at first but have now resolved things and are firmly back togther.

There would be no second chances though if it EVER happened again we would be finished, there is a difference between giving someone a second chance and having 'mug' tattoed on your forehead!

I don't think it'spossible to say until you are in tar situation. I have the opiniion that I would but the emotion might be different

I'd stay (I think). Marriage is for life and I wouldn't let him get away that easily.

Only after performing surgery on his nadgers without anaesthetic.

Not sure. I think the problem would be was that the trust would be gone. And can you have a relationship without the trust?

I suspect we might try to give it a go but reality is I don't think I could forgive and forget so it would probably be over.

My heart would say that the relationship is over, and I would want to separate.

My head knows that I couldn't financially support myself and my children alone atm.

So I would be stuck.

Yes, I would leave.

I think people who can forgive and move on are strong and generous. I think if you have children and your errant DH knows he's been a dickhead then if you can get over it, bloody well done, I envy that strength. I just know I couldn't and would be loathe to damage my kids futher by making them watch the long drawn out fallout, ultimately resulting in me leaving eventually, anyway.

I think it depends on whether its a long lasting "emotional affair". I would struggle to get past that. A fling I would forgive for the sake of the DCs but I'd never let him know that.

DH and i have always said that if either one of us had a fling, that would be it.
If you love someone, you don't do anything to hurt them or risk what you have.

I can't say for sure unless it happened. But I like to think I would try and work things out, no matter how hard because people do make mistakes and marriage is meant to be for better or for worse.

If he did it again though - that would be it.

Agree with Womba. Also think that if you forgive once, chances are he would do it again. Because he knows there would be no consequences...

Yes. I would probably want to take him back, but I hope I'd be strong enough to walk away.

I disagre girlfrommars, I think it takes more strength to stay.

no i could not move past it, i would never do anything to hurt him like that and as my husband i expect the same in return.

if he cheated on me knowing full well what he was risking (7 years of marrage and 2 lovely dd's) and throwing away all our dreams and plans for the future then he would not be the person i thought i married.

My father was unfaithful to my mother with a series of 1nightstands and affairs. My mother believed the emotional stress contributed to her ultimately unsuccessful battle with cancer .

I was always thought my lovely mother deserved better and would have absolutely supported her leaving. They did divorce but in the end stayed together.

If it happened to me I hope that I would believe I deserved better. But having dcs and financial mutual dependence would make it hard. I am more understanding of my mother now than I was as a teenager.

I'd stay.