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Original poster

Is this *that* important?

36 replies

Peanutz · 20/04/2008 22:01

I am in the very early stages of a relationship. My main passion is travel and his was also, apparantly.

Anyway in conversation earier I asked him what one place in the world he intends to visit before he dies...he said Majorca I was thinking Thailand, Japan, USA or something a bit further away that "Little Britain" majorca.

Anyway when he saw the look on my face he asked me where I want to go before I die so I mentioned the places above (Thailand etc) and he just pulled a face and said "why would you wanna go there?" I explained why and asked him why he was so amazed by Majorca and he said it was the scenery and that most people speak English. I asked if there was anywhere else and he said nurburgring (sp?) in Germany, just to see the race track thing.

This to me is not passion for travel. I always had dreams of exporing the world with a "significant other" but after tonight he just comes across as being a bit boring and dull.

Is this enough to end a relationship over? He's great in all other ways but my mind is set on travel and going yourself is just not the same

I feel a bit sad actually, am I being stupid?

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 20/04/2008 22:06

well,
you might find over time that you are not compatible but this remark doesnt sound a sackable offence.
is he ok otherwise?

muffle · 20/04/2008 22:08

Oh, I can actually really relate to your disappointment.

For me the issue would be, can he laugh at himself about it? Did he say anything like, oh I know, silly me, it's not hardcore travel really is it? Or was he all po-faced? That would be a turn-off for me.

But if he you still really like him in other ways, try talking him round - enthuse about your travels and dare him to do a big trip with you - see how that goes down.

anothermum92 · 20/04/2008 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thisisyesterday · 20/04/2008 22:08

I think you should see it as a challenge to broaden his horizons and open his world.

I mean, if I found the perfect guy and the only thing "wrong" was this then I wouldn't end the relationship over it.
If it generally was lukewarm, then yes, maybe

LaComtesse · 20/04/2008 22:09

Last time I looked, Germany and Spain were abroad . Have you explained to him your passion for far-flung travelling? Maybe he hasn't been beyond Europe and is a little apprehensive about it all. I've only been on holiday outside of the EC a couple of times myself - mainly due to financial reasons. I guess if travelling is a big thing for you it might be kinder to let him know now so he can opt in or out. You could also find a friend to travel with you - you don't have to go alone .

snice · 20/04/2008 22:09

I think his passion is holidays not travel

SheWillBeLoved · 20/04/2008 22:10

I think the question "are you willing to sacrifice your main passion for this man at this early stage in the relationship?".. if the answer is no - then I wouldn't have too many sleepless nights about cutting your losses and finding someone who shares similar passions as yours. Lifes too short to settle. Especially for Majorca

Would he not be willing to go to those places at all? Or is he just blissfully ignorant to the world outside of an overly Brit infested Spain, and doesn't know what he's missing but would maybe want to be shown?

skidoodle · 20/04/2008 22:11

you sound quite closed minded and unimaginative in your travel destinations, "little britain" mallorca? really?

i would say you are being very stupid

Hassled · 20/04/2008 22:13

Majorca is beautiful and not all the touristy nightmare you'd expect, but that's besides the point - it's hardly a place to want to see before you die when your passion is "travel". And that "people will speak English" line - he's missing the point completely really, isn't he?

If it's very early on and no-one's heart will be broken and you're less than in love or even in lust - is it really worth pursuing? IMO he'd have to have a hell of a lot of redeeming features.

thisisyesterday · 20/04/2008 22:13

shewillbeloved... I don't think it's a case of sacrificinbg her passion for him though.

I know that if I asked dp to go on holiday to Peru with me he would gladly come even though he has no particular desire to go, because he loves me and would want to be with me, regardless of where we were.

which could potentially be the case for the OP.

It'd be pretty silly to write off what could be the love of your life over something like that, wouldn't it?
unless you feel a biut uncertain about him in other ways too

LaComtesse · 20/04/2008 22:14

I persuaded my x-bf to go to Austria last year instead of Croatia for my 'birthday' holiday but to his surprise he greatly enjoyed it and mentioned recently he'd like to go there again. We went to Croatia later on but I then preferred Slovenia (Rijeka transpired to be a bit of a dump). European holidays don't have to be boring or "little Britain". Use local transport, ignore tourist resturants and research where you are going to get the most out of it.

Original poster
Peanutz · 20/04/2008 22:15

Majorca, Ibiza etc...they're all the same. Nice beaches but infested with over-weight brits in two colours (white or orange) wearing union jack shorts or football shirts planning their next Indian take-away.

Maybe I am a bit judgemental but that's my experience.

He said he couldn't see why anyone would want to go to "backwards countries" but he would like to go to America and he mentioned he'd be interested in seeing if Tokyo really does have vending machines selling used knickers

OP posts:
LaComtesse · 20/04/2008 22:16

Peanutz - your OH would probably like Malta since they all speak English, drive on the left and it's warm most of the year round .

SheWillBeLoved · 20/04/2008 22:17

She mentioned that he now seems dull and boring to her because of his lack of desire to travel to the places she does.

I know if my main passion was travelling and it was a dream to travel the world with a partner, then I wouldn't want to do it with someone who was possibly going to step off the plane at every airport and snort "hardly Majorca is it?". I'd want them to be as interested and excited about is as me.

LaComtesse · 20/04/2008 22:17

I've only been to Spain once actually but I didn't set foot on a beach when I was there. Stayed in Barcelona then took the train to Madrid (5-hr trip). Fabby holiday.

Elephantsbreath · 20/04/2008 22:18

dump him. I find myself yawning just hearing about him actually.

You are looking for romance and adventure, he is looking for nice holidays.

oh sorry

Original poster
Peanutz · 20/04/2008 22:19

I'd like to see Barcelona too actually but he was talking about the stereotype Brit holidays.

I said I'd like to see Venice and he said "its infested with rats though" and I suggested Rome and said I'd like to see the ruins etc and he said "you could go to StoneHenge for that"

OP posts:
barnstaple · 20/04/2008 22:20

Ask him where he's been, if he likes travel. Then dump him . Or just keep him for a short term thing.

sydmummy · 20/04/2008 22:21

Majorca! don't get that if he says he is into travelling. I think it does say something about him?

Original poster
Peanutz · 20/04/2008 22:21

I asked him where he'd been, he said Holland lol and then said he was supposed to go to Magaluf years ago but backed out at the last minute.

OP posts:
ratbunny · 20/04/2008 22:23

oh peanutz I've been to tokyo and the DEFINITELY had used knicker vending machines on every street corner.

agree with shewillbeloved - I would hate to go travelling with someone who thought of other places as backwards, or really just wanted to go to majorca. It would hardly be exciting.

It may not be important on its own, but if the rest isnt all that great it would be a sticking point..

SlartyBartFast · 20/04/2008 22:23

he lied about wanting to travel then.

skidoodle · 20/04/2008 22:24

oh FFS they're both looking for nice holidays, just quibbling about the distance and which prejudices to indulge

K20 · 20/04/2008 22:25

dump him - you are not compatible, he has no idea what you are talking about

Elephantsbreath · 20/04/2008 22:31

Spain is magnificent, but how will you find out with this dullard? It will be beach, beer and dullard sex.

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