Is this *that* important?

[Peanutz]

I am in the very early stages of a relationship. My main passion is travel and his was also, apparantly.

Anyway in conversation earier I asked him what one place in the world he intends to visit before he dies...he said Majorca I was thinking Thailand, Japan, USA or something a bit further away that "Little Britain" majorca.

Anyway when he saw the look on my face he asked me where I want to go before I die so I mentioned the places above (Thailand etc) and he just pulled a face and said "why would you wanna go there?" I explained why and asked him why he was so amazed by Majorca and he said it was the scenery and that most people speak English. I asked if there was anywhere else and he said nurburgring (sp?) in Germany, just to see the race track thing.

This to me is not passion for travel. I always had dreams of exporing the world with a "significant other" but after tonight he just comes across as being a bit boring and dull.

Is this enough to end a relationship over? He's great in all other ways but my mind is set on travel and going yourself is just not the same

I feel a bit sad actually, am I being stupid?

Dump him immediately. At the moment our family does the Spain thing once or twice a year but this is because it is fab for the kids while they are small and there is so much more to it if you are prepared to make a bit of an effort to get off the beaten track.

However when DC are older we will travel more extensively and I couldnt imagine doing it with someone who would say "its infested with rats though" when Venice is mentioned.

He sounds really ignorant.

I wondered at first if he just had a dry sense of humour. Let's assume not, in which case proceed with caution. It's possible other differences will out sooner or later. Decide whether it's worth it then.

Hmmm, don't agree with pp who said that he might change !

One of my pet hates about DH is that he would always rather stay home (and I mean home, no days out, nothing) and I would love to travel.

Too late to change now but it really bugs me and has actually made life quite different to what I expected it to be.

Doesn't sound to me like his attitude could posssibly change - unless you try a trip and the scales fall away from his eyes or something????

Peanutz
Is it that you want someone who will travel, or that you want someone who is openminded in the same way as you are?

One is a hobby

the other is a value
The relationship would probably work best if you have the same values...

Wouldn't be the man for I had an ex that was like this. Very predictable mummy's boy that folded his clothes very neatly, very particular with his apartment, car and was quite conservative despite being a bit younger than me. We had agreed on a holiday and despite great offers (I was jobbing at the airport back then and privy to 5* hols for 100 £) he settled on Fuerteventura and would not back down. We went, it was so boring I drank myself to sleep every night (he wouldn't drink at all). I still shudder at the thought of him.

With my dp now I've travelled the world and we are currently living overseas. He's exciting and great fun, the best companion I've ever had. He loves exotic food, kinky sex and travelling far and wide.

If a man doesn't tick all your boxes he will never be the love of your life. It's the little things you have to accept, but I think him only wanting to travel to Mallorca or setting his sights further shows, that he's quite different to you. You yourself have to decide what feels right. Personally would never let a man hold me back from living a dream. Even if it's 'only' a holiday.

Oh and never assume people will change.

If he was made for you you wouldn't need to change him or make him 'see the light', YKWIM.

It's unfair on him if he's happy with the way things are. So to curb your own frustrations, move on and look for someone who's got more in common with you.

Slightly surprised by some of the tone here. Someone is not worth less as a person because they like different holidays to you ... And it's not "travel", it is going on holiday.

well are these travels that you are likely to go on?
I would love to go to India but because i know have 2 children it is unlikely i will (not until they are all grown up at least)

If Thailand and USA are places you would love to visit but its more realistic that you would holiday in a more typical destination...it doesn't really mnake as difference to your relationship.

If of course the places you mention are places you wish to visit in the next couple of years and have saved up to go or whatever then im afraid you need to end the relationship

I'm in the 'dump him' catagory (or at least progress with extreme caution!)

I once met a chap who told me he was into all of these 'extreme sports' and I did like that.... Told me loads of other stuff that made him sound really adventurous and fun and up for anything......

The reality hit when his 'mountaineering' holiday turned out to be an organised trek (not more demanding than booking a ski holiday with Inghams! And he didn't even climb any mountains AND he didn't ski!!!!

It's not about whether Majorca is or isn't a nice place to visit - everywhere has the good and bad bits - it's about what it represents......

Saying your passion is travel and meaning 2 weeks in Majorca is NOT a good sign, IMHO!!

depends if u want a life partner or a travel buddy i suppose

And this is not about the merits (or otherwise) of Majorca. He appears to have made some telling comments about his attitude towards certain things in life. If he really thinks that English-speakers/racetracks/vendingmachines etc... shows a passion for travel then he's on a different wavelength to Peanutz. "Bcakwards countries??" Really!