"No siblings this time sadly"... on a kids party invite is that ever ok!?

[Magicshroom]

Is this ever ok NOT to invite siblings to kids party??

I think not ok!!!?

We got one yesterday, it’s absolutely fine! Though the invited child is not as good friends with the party child than the not invited sibling which puzzled me tbh.

I sent a polite message saying I completely understand the no siblings, but not invited child would be very upset not to attend, so invited child doesn’t want to come and upset their sibling. No hard feelings, have a great party etc etc

I would never assume both my kids were invited to a party for just one of them unless it was my friends children because we always invite everyone because they are similar ages. I would probably double check unless the invite specifically stated both or just one.

When you start adding siblings on it starts to get expensive and there isn't always room. If I were to have a class party it would be both my kid's and the class of the birthday child. No siblings. The birthday child sibling is invited because he's my child and they do everything together, the only time I would add a classmate's sibling on is if we were all friends but there is only two children out of 30 that would apply to.

I would potentially make allowances if parents had to stay and they were struggling for childcare and I had the room and the money or they offered to pay.

Of course you do 🙄

@NoWittyNamesAvailable Wow, so cheeky. Aside from showing up with extra children, it's totally on their parents to explain that as it's a party for their brother/ sister X's friend, only X will have a party bag - you shouldn't have to do it!

Wonders if this is about me ;)

i usually invite siblings as historically it’s been a hall / buffet type situation and I don’t mind a few extras however this year my sons asked for an activity party that’s £20 per head and so we have limited the numbers. That alongside the fact all invited children ( inc mine) have additional needs it’s easy to become overwhelming - thus potentially ruining the event for the birthday child who needs an element of calm! So I’ve popped “ sadly no siblings on this occasion” and made it clear the venue cannot accommodate them. This may mean some parents drop and run and that’s ok :)

I'd never invite siblings. And I had loads of parties at our house when DD was at primary.
That's in cf territory to expect an invite

If your sibling was invited to a wedding or dinner party, would you expect to tag along?

Absolutely fine. I don't remember people bringing siblings to my birthday parties (90's) and I wouldn't expect an invite for my kid's siblings if they got an invite from someone in class. How are you meant to cater if all and sundry can turn up!

Tbh it sounds pretty passive aggressive that you spelled out to the host that neither child would attend because one would be hurt that they weren’t invited. All you needed to say was that your child wouldn’t be able to make it. The wording you’ve used above sounds like you’re trying to shame the host for their thoughtlessness.

Did you send a gif of a tiny violin playing sad face music to put an extra bit of pressure on the hosting parents?

I have two dd 18m apart. If one was invited to a soft play party I would rake the other, pay her entry and sit separately from the party.

Someone's house, a hired hall etc yea it's rude to ale sibling's unless offered.

What an unnecessary message to send. It's such passive aggressive guilt tripping. A simple "sorry X is unable to attend. Thanks for the invitation" would have sufficed without the emotional drama

I have twins, adults now but when younger I never ever expected them both to be invited; I encouraged individual friendships and always let parents know that they didn’t have to invite both.

I think it's rather cheeky to expect someone to invite siblings to a party.

This! Children’s parties are expensive enough for the children you actually want there let alone all of their siblings. YABU.

Of course it's ok.

You have no way of knowing if money is tight and they can only afford limited numbers.

Or how big or small their home is.

Or if their child can only cope with smaller numbers of children they know well.

Siblings of different ages can really change the dynamic of a friend group.

And being responsible for younger children, or older children they may not be familiar with could be a weight they don't need.

Their child, their party, their home, their rules.

It’s someone I’ve been a close friend of for over 30 years, not just some random from school.

I initially just said no, but was asked why because they knew we were free at the time the party was!

It’s always OK. What’s NOT OK is bringing along a child to a party to which only their sibling has been invited.

This is a joke, right?

In all my years of holding birthdays parties I’ve only ever had 2 siblings ask to stay. One was a younger sibling at a soft play party. His mother payed for his entrance and bought his own food, although I said there was plenty for 1 extra and she sat well away from the party table.

The other was ds1’s 4th birthday, also at soft play. I had asked ds for names and didn’t realise the little boy was the year below him at nursery and had just turned 3. His mum wanted to stay with her older child. I had 2 no shows so was able to include him but the mum didn’t expect it.

I don’t know where all these cheeky parents have come from. I would never turn up with a sibling or think it necessary to include on an invite.

Absolutely never ok to think siblings are invited. Even if you feel you have to stay yourself. Kids' parties are horrific enough without doubling up the numbers and the mayhem.

Its fine tbh I think the presumption is no siblings unless it specifically states they are invited

I have six siblings, can you imagine the chaos if the whole crew had turned up to every party one of us was invited to?

when was it ever ok to bring uninvited siblings to a children’s party? That’s absurd

Yes! I can't believe people assume siblings can go