"No siblings this time sadly"... on a kids party invite is that ever ok!?

[Magicshroom]

Is this ever ok NOT to invite siblings to kids party??

I think not ok!!!?

Nice one! Yeah I'm agreeing with everyone else here on the 'of course it's okay'

Of course it's ok to not invite siblings. Parties can be really expensive, especially if you have booked an activity, and many parents can't just afford to accommodate additional children who haven't been invited. Some of the party venues I used for my daughter's parties when she was young had an upper limit on the numbers, so apart from the extra cost, they wouldn't have been allowed to stay anyway. It's really unfair on the birthday child to make them have children who they don't want at their party. And on top of that, the parent of the birthday child wouldn't necessarily have catered for extra children, bought extra party bags etc.

OP have you ever organised a kid's party? I have generally found that the people who expect to be treated like the queen of f'ing Sheba are the ones who never get off their backside and organise something like this for their own kid so have no idea what effort and money goes into it. Here's a few ground rules for you since you're coming across as very entitled if your OP is genuine....

1. Siblings are not automatically entitled to an invite. If you have a dependent child and you're going to struggle then by all means ask the host if they can tag along. Never just drag a sibling along without even telling a host. It's a total dick move and everyone hates it even if they seem to be graciously accepting it with a smile

2. Even if you have been told siblings can come then avoid taking them at all costs unless they are babies who will be joined to mum's hip or an older child who'll sit nicely with their parent. Never take siblings who you know will be boistrous and take over. Again even if you've technically been told yes it's horrible and the host and the birthday child will be understandably upset

3. it doesn't matter if you like the parent/kid or hate them, if they're your kid's best friend or 100th best friend, RSVP, ideally at least 2 weeks before the party. Don't just ignore the invite as then ITO buying things such as food and party bags the host is in limbo land. It's really irritating. There's no way you've missed the host's paper invite and million Watsapps so it's really obvious you're ignoring it and there's no excuse

4. If you can't attend at short notice for a genuine reason then fine, these things happen. However it's really obvious if you're just suddenly cancelling because the weather is better or you have a better offer so just don't do it.

5. especially if it's infant school kids don't just turn up and ask to drop and run on the day. It puts the host in a really awkward position. Follow whatever has been written on the invite or clarify beforehand.

6. If you have a kid who you know gets overwhelmed at parties and displays challenging behaviour then supervise your kid! If you know that your kid needs extra behavioural support at school then don't be dicking about on your phone at the other end of the room and leaving the host to pull your kid off another kid because he's trying to strangle them (literally happened at one of my dd's parties) use your common sense and don't make things even harder for the host

Honestly just have some consideration for someone who's just trying to get this whole parenting thing right and do something nice for their kid.

My son was in school with a kid whose mum thought it was ok to turn up to parties with her other 2 DC in tow and would actively encourage them to join in with eating the food/games etc. she was cheeky mare and I got to a point where I wouldn't invite that friend so that I didn't have to host his siblings. Of course it's perfectly fine to not invite siblings.

As a mum of 3 I would say it's absolutely fine to not invite siblings. When one of my kids get an invite for a party from there I never expect or even consider taking there siblings. Nor do I invite siblings unless my kids are actually friends with them all. We don't invite siblings of friends to adult birthday parties so why do it with kids.

@Youcantcallacatspider OP posted again to say that this is a reverse

Ugh, hate reverses, confusing and pointless. Why not just say what happened in the first place?!

I used to hate it when parents turned up to my kids' parties with extra kids in tow. Invariably they would never even ask if was OK, just show up. If I'd wanted to invite the whole family I'd have put all their names on the invitation! I can't understand why people think it's OK just to muscle in with extra guests. It's beyond rude.
Most places, whether pay-per-head or a hired venue, will have a limit on how many kids can be there anyway.

I’m another one saying it’s fine, mainly due to the pisstakers amongst the school group, or those who never speak or invite you to their parties but expect to bring 3 siblings along? My DDs last party was a joint one and we said no siblings yet one pisstaker still ignored that and bought along her sullen teenager!

Too many people taking the bait. This has been done to death on MN, OP makes the most unpopular statement then runs for cover

🥱

I quite frequently have brought older sibling to a village hall type party that younger one is invited to because husband works the weekends and otherwise we have to decline party invitations BUT I always message the host parent privately first to check if it's ok. Seems quite usual where I am, often other older siblings are also there to play with mine. Equally I have given blanket sibling invitation to these types of parties that we have held ourselves.

For soft play again, i ask the host and then pay in my extra one/buy them food separately, but actually hosts have often given me a party place if they've had drop outs.

Totally normal where I am 🤷‍♀️

Of course it's ok.
I loved it when one of mine was invited to a party as it meant I could take the other child out for lunch or a fancy ice cream

I would never expect a sibling to be invited unless it’s a baby and parents attend too!

Thank you Mumsnet for the See all button and preventing me from reading responses on a reverse thread.
What a waste of time.

Yes! Siblings are never invited. The child who the child is friendly with is invited!

What?? Of course it’s okay to not invite them! And what’s more, it is incredibly rude to bring them and expect for them to be catered to if they haven’t been specifically invited.

I might actually use this line next year because I have one friend in particular who ALWAYS brings the younger sibling and always acts surprised and mildly offended that I don’t have a party bag for her and/or she isn’t a paid-for participant at the venue.

Of course it's ok !!

Of course it's okay not to invite siblings. Why should my child have to celebrate their birthday with anyone other than the people they've specifically chosen to be there? And why should I be expected to host and cover costs for people my child doesn't want there?

It's a party for a child and friends that age- so say 6

So doesn't need a baby /toddler /4yr or even 8/9yr there

Parties are costly enough for friends esp if at school and whole class so 30

To add in maybe another 30 if all bring a sibling

No no no

I actually think it's rude for a mum to ask to bring a sibling

Of course it's ok

Necessary because people take the piss and invite half the family

Of course it's ok! A lot of venues have restrictions on numbers, and even if not, why should parents pay extra for kids that the birthday child may not even know.

I actually think it's rude for a mum to ask to bring a sibling

^

Agree

It's difficult to say no to

Village hall type parties, siblings tend to be fine as you aren’t paying per head. But for soft play or activities, you can’t have loads of uninvited kids turning up willy nilly. It’s rude to just assume you can bring extra children either way though. It’s perfectly fine for the host to make clear on the invitation that this isn’t a siblings invited party and probably saves a lot of ambiguity.

I see it a lot on our wats app group

Can I bring xyz as dads at work /no one to leave youngest with

Then you drop party child off or ask someone to take /collect

Of course it is, why should arrogant parents assume that an invitation to one child includes all the rest of the family? Such a rude assumption.