Partner away a lot

[MissHemsworth]

Met my current partner nearly two years ago via OLD. He's lovely. He's funny, kind, caring, supportive gets on well with the kids etc.

Here comes the but....he goes away for pleasure a lot. This year he's been to America three times, Germany with mates, he's off to Cyprus soon with mates and is also planning a canal/barge holiday. He went to Bali not long ago also. He'll often sack off work and go fishing for the day. He goes away with work a lot also but will extend the trip by a week or so, so that he can have a holiday as well. He goes out with mates a lot too.

This is obviously how he likes to live his life which is fair enough however he's had a string of unsuccessful relationships and from snippets of what he's said I'm wondering if this behaviour is a contributing factor.

My issue is that I'm a single parent doing nearly 100% childcare, working a low paid job to fit around school hours as well as a masters degree. I have previously been in a financially controlling and abusive relationship and currently going through a messy divorce. I have no money, no spare time and no freedom. We have very different lifestyles and I'm starting to feel the resentment creeping in which I don't want, hence the reason I'm posting. I just wanted others thoughts on how I can move past this?

For context he's got two kids (teenagers) and is keen for us to all move in together once my divorce is finalised. However I can't help but feel that he wants his cake and is eating it with the partner/kids at home and living life as a single man, or am I being controlling and jealous? If you've got this far thank you, I would really appreciate your thoughts on this!

You would be mad to waste futher time on him.
Let him off.
Find someone that is around, that you can enjoy spending downtime and that you have compatible hopes for the future.
This is not peter pan who wants you kerping the fires going at home whilst he is off livjng life like a single man.
Let him off OP.
There is nothing in the future with him for you.

You are not compatible as a couple and you are just wasting you're time being with him I'd end the relationship now rather than 5 years down the line . Resentment is already setting in that will only get worse , he's entitled to live his life as he pleases but you don't have to stick around as 2nd best / bed warmer for when he's actually home

Tbh, you don't sound compatible. His lifestyle is fine for a single guy, but not to a 50-50 partner and parent. The minimum you should ask him is:
-How much is he planning to travel after you'd move in together -- how often with you, and how often without you, and where will his kids be when he's away?
-Is he happy to chip in for your and your kids' travels, or, where is he planning to put your kids when you're away together?
-How much is a reasonable travel budget for himself per year, and for you as a family per year?
-If it sounds at all like he expects you to sit at home parenting (your and his, or just your kids) while he swans around the globe, rethink very hard whether this relationship can ever become anything more than light fun.

Yeah we had actually know each other since we were 11!! He perused me quite heavily even though I knew it wouldn’t work due to his travelling and my having children.
he convinced me it was precooked etc but it never changed.
I wish I’d of listened to my gut though because now that’s 24 years of friendship gone. X

I think I’d just judge him too much to be in a relationship with him. Who doesn’t like travel? But if I could travel that much I’d want my kids with me for a lot of it, I wouldn’t want that level of time away from them. I would also judge him sacking off work, i need a bit more responsibility and drive in a partner. And him thinking that life owes him travel gives me the absolute ick. Life owes people nothing, some are very lucky and get a lot of the good parts, some get a shit deal, we should appreciate what we have and recognise our privilege if that’s what we have. Not wah poor me it’s not fair I haven’t been to Borneo. Actually, it is completely fair he hasn’t been to Borneo; why the fuck would it in any way be fair for him to go to Borneo??
As for his plan to go and help his mate with kids in Spain, he’d probably dump me before I got around to it as I’d be all ‘you do realise he can’t just send the kids to their mums so you can both have a great time? What does ‘help’ mean if you aren’t cooking and washing and getting up in the morning?