He's upset that I'm dating others in the open relationship he wanted?

[lovelee97]

Hi! I made an account here looking for relationship advice because I'm not sure what to do about this current dating situation I'm in.

I've been dating someone for about 2 months (we met on a dating site) and off the bat he told me that he's polyamorous and is in an open relationship with his wife, and they have two kids together. He said he wasn't looking for anything serious and wanted something casual (no strings attached) and I was fine with it because I'm focusing on my career and doing my PhD.

So everything was going well and I assumed since he is open with his wife and wanted something casual that I could date other guys. About a week ago I started dating someone else and he got upset and asked me what changed because we were seeing each other a lot and I told him I'm dating someone else. He got even more upset and I told him well we're not committed or exclusive and plus he's married so I wasn't sure what was happening.

He says that now he wants me to make him the priority? I'm so confused because he doesn't want anything serious. I like him so how I move forward with this?

This!

Ask to speak to his wife and you’ll find out exactly how open their relationship actually is.

I like him so how I move forward with this

You ask him to introduce you to his wife, based on his/her reactions you move forward from the outcome.

Yep someones bored on a saturday afternoon

You are doing a PhD and have a career and you have to ask this question?

Quite a few men like the thought of polyamory until their protective/possessive side creeps up and smack them on the balls.

So you're happy to fuck a married man with 2 kids? I think that says a lot about you. For god's sake, if you want no strings sex there are plenty of single guys out there gagging for it. Why do you want partial shares in a man's dick at your age anyway? You sound like you deserve each other. I feel desperately sorry for his wife and hope karma doesn't catch you out one day.

You don’t move forward. He isn’t mature enough to have an open relationship. Tell him he can’t have it both ways, he needs to work on his insecurities, then block and focus on this new guy instead

I'd tell him you ran into his wife and asked her out. Sounds like she could do with some fun in this allegedly open relationship.

In the few open relationships that I've known inside details of, it's the man who suggests it, but the woman who does better out of it!

Could be that the wife has a committed Boyfriend and he wants the same? He can't bear both women gettimg some elsewhere. Poor little dickhead!

He’s cheating on his wife and you’re ok with that. Jeez. 🙄

he told me that he's polyamorous and is in an open relationship with his wife, and they have two kids together

Not impossible, but doubtful. Unless you've actually met her and confirmed it with her, it's much more likely this is what he tells naive women so when he can't spend time with them, or they eventually do find out that he has a wife, he has his back covered.

He says that now he wants me to make him the priority? I'm so confused because he doesn't want anything serious

This is the nature of most cheaters. They basically open the relationship....except.....they neglect to tell their partners that because they certainly don't want them doing the same thing. No - that special privilege is theirs alone.

He's doing the same to you here - he wants you to be his alone, but he's not willing to give up his comforting, stable relationship & home. He wants to have his cake & eat it....but obviously you're not allowed to do the same.

Dump him OP.

It’s not ok to sleep with a married man. Women that do are the lowest of the low.

Tell him you've been reading up and think it's time you met his wife. He'll probably shit himself.

He's lying. Get rid of the daft twat before you get the blame for shagging a married bloke.

What's good for the goose ...

Yes that was my point thank you. She’s single so go out and have sex with whatever other single (or genuinely poly) men she wants but it’s the fact she seems to know he’s cheating on his wife and isn’t actually in an open relationship and thinks that’s ‘lol’ that makes her as grubby as him.

If not thinking cheating is fine is being 1924 then I’ll own that

This 1000%

Wake up OP.

OP, given he does not want you to be dating other men, how likely is it that he will be happy that his own wife will be dating other men?

Please follow the logic here. He is not in a poly relationship with his wife really is he.

He's a liar, he's a cheat. He's lying to both you and his wife.

He's also trying to control you. I'd bet he does this to his wife, too.

Online dating sites are rammed with married men, and men who already have a girlfriend. Very few of the significant other women have any idea that they are apparently in some sort of open-relationship with their husband or partner...

Delete and block 💐

He's definition of polyamory is essentially that he gets to shag around, you don't!

TBH, all the poly people I know make a point of introducing new partners to their existing ones, because ENM is all about communication and respect so that things don’t get messy. Some won’t even start anything without the rest of the polycule meeting and liking the prospective partner. So not meeting or talking to the wife should have been a read flag from the start.

There are poly meets all over the country if that’s the lifestyle you want.

Polyamourous my ass!!!

100% his wife doesn't know she's in an open relationship...

Just dump him. I don't know why you even need to ask the question.

He's married but wants to be your priority?

Laugh in his face. Then move on.

lol