My ex was a fit and attractive man, absolutely never fancied anyone more than I fancied him, but 18 years older than me. The relationship ended because he was a total arsehole in various ways. I just reached a point where I had enough of the head games. I’ve been ignoring his messages now for about 6 months but I occasionally get one, usually telling me something I did wrong. The latest was about a comment I made a couple of years in (together a total of 5 years)
He started off the relationship painting himself very differently to who he actually was. A couple of years in he started talking about other women a lot, and how attractive he finds various women in daily life, porn etc, it became a bit much, but I was patient with it. It did take the shine off a bit though. So I’m not sure I was reacting in a jealous enough way for him- although he knew I had eyes only for him, was monogamous, and extremely faithful. So here is what happened:
one night he sends me a text saying, “I was so good last night, you’ll have to reward me tonight” ( can’t believe I didn’t vomit there and then but I was in the love bubble) so I said “oh yeah why?” So he proceeds to tell me that when he was doing charity work a few weeks before, he had met two 18 year old girls, and they’d been really interested in the charity work, and ended up going with him and a couple of others for a drink. They swapped numbers so he could send them some info. He hadn’t sent anything but that night where he’d been “so good”, they had phoned him at 2am and left a drunken voice message saying “hey, we were hoping you’d tuck us into bed” and giggling” he had ignored and sent a message the next day saying “ a bit tipsy last night were you, did you want that charity info” and got a response back saying “well if you ever want to tuck us into bed, let us know”. I started off by saying,” well you are a handsome guy”, but he couldn’t leave it there, and he said “well not many men wouod turn down a threesome”, so I said “well firstly I think many men would when they love someone, secondly they are old enough to be your granddaughters, and thirdly they are just kids are you sure they weren’t just mucking around”
To be honest it was so contrived I was starting to think he’d made the whole thing up and it was one of his many head games. He blew his top and said I was attacking him? That I’m a nasty piece of work. Anyway we resolved the “issue”, but last night I got a text from him saying that I was a bitch and when he told me about the offer of a threesome I shot him down and made him feel like he hadn’t turned something down that he could have had if he wanted to.
I find his texts funny now which is why I haven’t blocked him, so tempted to respond saying he’s a fantasist, but I haven’t taken the bait for 6 months so I’m not going to break no contact. The guy is pushing 60, he’s gorgeous but I just think he was more in love with himself than he could ever be with a woman, and as you can tell from the post, I love an older man, but at 18, would have rather stabbed my eyes out than shagged a 60 year old.
He’d been trying to screw with my head for months before I said what I said with his little fantasy scenario.
so was I a bitch or is he a self absorbed fantasist?