My mum told me to delete my ultrasound picture because baby is ugly

[Betsabea]

I am 32 weeks pregnant, first time mum, and yesterday, after some debate because neither of us had posted on social media for almost a year, me and my husband decided to announce our pregnancy on Facebook by posting our most recent ultrasound picture, a side profile of our baby. My husband is over the moon with the pregnancy and couldn't wait for everyone to see the picture, which he has been staring at since we got it (two days ago). We got a lot of good wishes and we were happy to finally share the news with distant friends and relatives.
Well, today my mum decided to call me and tell me, completely unprompted, that I should delete the picture because "it's an ugly picture". When I asked her what she meant, she said the baby looks ugly and he has a big nose. Mind you, this isn't even one of those 3D pictures where baby can end up looking a bit weird (though her comment would still have been uncalled for), this is a normal 2D side profile of our baby. I told her I don't care if my baby is ugly anyway and she tried to backtrack, saying I misunderstood, she only meant that "the picture is unflattering". It's a grainy, black and white picture of a 32 weeks old unborn baby.
I have been crying intermittently ever since and I haven't had the courage to tell my husband anything (he hasn't got home yet as he's working late), I don't want to do it, I am embarrassed and hurt. Why would she say that? What hurts even more is that my brother had a baby earlier this year and my nephew is undeniably a very cute baby, which my mum is very proud of. I don't want to tell anyone irl because this is just hurtful and embarrassing. I asked my husband "what if baby is ugly?" and he said he thinks he's beautiful and we don't need to worry. I don't want to act as though this hurt me as much as it did but at the same time I don't feel like speaking to my mum for a while. I created this account after lurking for a long time because I wanted to get this off my chest.
Sorry about the long post.

Agree with blocking her on your social media too

I am so sorry this happened to you. TBH this is the kind of thing my mum would have done / said a lot and considered it totally acceptable because she was always "right".

the only thing to do is to take a break from her if you can bear it.

I hope the rest of the pregnancy and birth of your son go beautifully.

My baby looked like a lasagne in her 3d scan and a little alien with a huge head in her normal scan.

She was the most beautiful baby and is now a beautiful little girl.

Ignore your mum and don't give it the headspace. What she said was hurtful and your feelings are valid, but honestly, don't sweat it. Your baby will be beautiful.

Congratulations on the impending little one!

Wow, she's a piece of work isn't she.
I'm so sorry. She clearly is as jealous as hell.

What a horrible thing to say. I wouldn't worry, scan pics can look a bit strange, mine seemed to have a big nose , rather large jaw etc. My baby came out so cute, is older now and a very good looking kid ( not just saying that as mine) very small and cute , straight nose , big shapeful lips and lovely oval eyes all in proportion. Even my 3D one looked a bit odd and squishy looking. It doesn't matter matter anyway I'm sure your baby will be super cute . Try and ignore such a horrid comment, it's a scan pic fgs

About all you could conclude from any of DS’s scan photos were that he was definitely male. I still used to look at them before falling asleep every night.

With all kindness, get a grip. An ultrasound at 32 weeks is squashed to say the least. Why did it take you so long to announce the pregnancy anyway?

She sounds stark raving mad, frankly. 'Unflattering'?! How the fuck can an ultrasound be 'unflattering'?

Also, no normal grandparent would even care what their grandchild looks like as a newborn, ffs. The normal response to a new baby grandchild is simply to be utterly besotted, whether it looks like a Renaissance cherub or whether it looks like an angry potato.

Anyway - I think I can completely confident in saying that your baby will, however, be the most beautiful and perfect thing you've ever seen in your life.

What a weirdo why would she say that? Scan pics all look much the same

She might be a bit like me. To be honest, scans creep me out a bit. I make all the right noises when someone shows me one, but I really don't understand showing them off. I know that's just me though. There's obviously nothing wrong with doing so. But yep. Maybe she sees them the same way, but has less of a people pleasing filter.

I wouldn't tell your DH, to be honest. Why hurt him too?

Jealous?

Oh wow that sounds amazing. I bet I’m older than your mum and I cannot imagine calling a picture of any baby ugly. I’m quite in awe of the detail on scan pictures and I know lots of people share them on sm, even on t shirts, can’t see a problem with that at all.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope your mother doesn’t come out with any more of her comments.

OP, I’d like to share with you the terrifying front on scan picture of my daughter. She was/is cute as a button, but thankfully we saw less skull when she was born. Your mother know she’s not going to be made of black and white squiggly lines, right?

I'm not that poster, but I can see this. My mother was insanely jealous of the emotional intimacy of my marriage and family that was not HERS. She wanted to be the planet around which everyone else was merely a satellite and making a family of your own destroys that nutty illusion.

I'm sure he/she isn't ugly. What on earth are babies supposed to look like? All these ultrasound pics look the same. Has ur mum seen any other ultrasound pics from before? Sounds like she hasn't been out much sorry. Tell her u think that because you haven't seen anything.

Don't cry, OP. You'd ignore any other nutter who tried to shame you or your unborn like this, just can't this time as it's your mum.

DO ignore her, we give you Permission to draw that line.

Your baby will be beautiful. Enjoy this precious and exciting time!

Same here! But I assumed op used the 20week scan as she said 'most recent' - but not announcing it until 32 weeks was very restrained - and highly unusual!

ignore your mum. completely uncalled for and un-necessary comment. all babies are gorgeous. yours will be too.

ps soz not soz about lack of capital letters, typing one fingered. holding glass of wine in other hand

This is brilliant!

Very tactless of her. Maybe she did mean that it wasn't very flattering, because it was a scan. Every newborn is beautiful to most people, how can they not be!

Congratulations!
Really off comment from your mum. If she's the kind of person who would understand worth raising with her how it made you feel OP. If she's not then - her view is completely ridiculous on this! Pretty much all newborns look a bit weird too but are totally beautiful.

That's very weird. How old is she ? Does she have mental health problems? Was she happy about you being pregnant?.

Ignore what her mother said, not never see her again.

What an awful thing for you're mum to say. Only you know what type of woman she is and if this is something she would normally come out with.

Take no notice, concentrate on the rest of your pregnancy, and congratulations!

How shallow, and inconsiderate of your mum. Tell her how wounded you are by that. I see no reason why she shouldn't be confronted with the consequences of her stupidity. It might make her think more in future, I hope she applogises profusely soon. Don't let her off the hook here.

Do NOT delete the picture. It's a lovely representation of your soon-to-be child before birth. You share it if YOU want to.

I would edit your sm to add my dm thinks this scan pic is ugly. Add a smiley face.
Your dm will squirm with embarrassment.