My mum told me to delete my ultrasound picture because baby is ugly

[Betsabea]

I am 32 weeks pregnant, first time mum, and yesterday, after some debate because neither of us had posted on social media for almost a year, me and my husband decided to announce our pregnancy on Facebook by posting our most recent ultrasound picture, a side profile of our baby. My husband is over the moon with the pregnancy and couldn't wait for everyone to see the picture, which he has been staring at since we got it (two days ago). We got a lot of good wishes and we were happy to finally share the news with distant friends and relatives.
Well, today my mum decided to call me and tell me, completely unprompted, that I should delete the picture because "it's an ugly picture". When I asked her what she meant, she said the baby looks ugly and he has a big nose. Mind you, this isn't even one of those 3D pictures where baby can end up looking a bit weird (though her comment would still have been uncalled for), this is a normal 2D side profile of our baby. I told her I don't care if my baby is ugly anyway and she tried to backtrack, saying I misunderstood, she only meant that "the picture is unflattering". It's a grainy, black and white picture of a 32 weeks old unborn baby.
I have been crying intermittently ever since and I haven't had the courage to tell my husband anything (he hasn't got home yet as he's working late), I don't want to do it, I am embarrassed and hurt. Why would she say that? What hurts even more is that my brother had a baby earlier this year and my nephew is undeniably a very cute baby, which my mum is very proud of. I don't want to tell anyone irl because this is just hurtful and embarrassing. I asked my husband "what if baby is ugly?" and he said he thinks he's beautiful and we don't need to worry. I don't want to act as though this hurt me as much as it did but at the same time I don't feel like speaking to my mum for a while. I created this account after lurking for a long time because I wanted to get this off my chest.
Sorry about the long post.

What a deeply weird thing to say. How sad for your mum not to be ecstatic at becoming a GP! Can you go no / low contact? Doesn’t sound helpful having her around. Or biggest she gets therapy before she can be around your kid.

I answered in another post, but it's just the face, not the entire body. We also could only see bits at a time.

I thought that the NHS only did two scans, unless for medical reasons.

Hateful thing to say and just not true but I'd be inclined to return her pettiness with 'yes, I thought baby looked a bit like his grandmother too'.

I got scan pics from my growth scans

She's being a daft old bat, probably thinks all baby photos should be cute, not grainy and showing innards.

Here are a couple more you can post

Well let’s be honest, scan pictures aren’t particularly attractive.

That is likely what she meant, also she comes from a generation where plastering scan pictures of scans on social media didn’t happen.

I'm honestly baffled that your mum would say something like that to you 😳 Is she normally mean and rude? I'd be so upset and not want to see or speak to her for an extended period of time to be honest.

My daughter looked like a fox in one scan picture. but surprisingly no foxiness when born.

scan pictures are an amazing glimpse. Ignore the comment.

I thought all my baby scans were beautiful, but when I look back at them they really look not even much like a baby. They do, like I thought about other peoples, need a lot of imagination to see the beautiful baby in them. But telling someone that when they show you would be terribly terribly rude! Ignore her, she is very rude!

It was from my growth scans. We got 7 pictures of various body parts (head/brain, femur, heart, chest...), then one of his face and one of the top of his head. We were also shown a 3D projection, but that wasn't printed.

Tell her you were just saying you could already see the resemblance to her 😃

Couldn't have been said better 🙏

What the fuck is she on about? How can an ultrasound picture of an unborn baby be ugly (like how can the baby be ugly? you can't even see it!)

Has she been at the cooking sherry @Betsabea

Your Mum sounds absolutely awful. What a toxic woman.

Hurtful thing to say to you. Your baby will be beautiful. It's your baby, your scan picture, you can put it on fb if you want. Disregard your mother.

I do think some people get very over invested in scan photos. My mum spent ages looking at mine and declaring that baby had DH’s nose or my mouth, etc. All complete nonsense, baby just looked like a jellybaby like they all do. I couldn’t pick my scan photos out of a line up!

That's such a stupid comment. I honestly don't think any scan picture shows how cute or ugly a baby will be when it's born/when it's 4 years old/when it's 21. And as a grandmother, my grand babies were the most beautiful creatures ever when they were born (and still are).

In my scan pictures my baby looked like Skeletor! Evil and terrifying! My family and I had a good laugh over it. The baby is now a gorgeous toddler and in no way ugly. And I wouldn't care if they were.

I've never seen a scan picture in which a baby looks attractive. I think you're over thinking your Mum's clumsy comment.

What a horrible thoughtless thing to say. I can’t imagine why she did.

Theres no such thing as an ugly baby anyway.

What a horrible thing to say. Is she jealous of you or something? There must be some weird psychology behind such a bizarre statement

Not flattering? Tf was she expecting, the sonographer to get the baby to move into a more aesthetically pleasing pose? What a completely weird thing to say.

If she doesn’t have form for this kind of thing, I’d be inclined to forgive and forget. Could be anything that caused her to say it. Needless to say your baby will be beautiful.

I do dislike the troll hunters on mumsnet who try to fact check OPs asking for advice. For what it’s worth, I was given pictures at 32 weeks.

I agree
"Oh that is so odd that you see the resemblance too! We were just saying how we think he looks like you!"

Cant help thinking that your nephew is the Golden Grandchild......

She said 'it's an ugly picture' which given its a scan its probably true. Not that your baby is ugly.
I'm concerned you are letting this get to you so much, and comparing to your brother. You'll need to get more resilient over the next few years because you'll hear a lot worse that it's an ugly picture.