Brother disowned my partner advice

Simplymeunapologetically · 2024-08-27T12:55:40+00:00

Hi Everyone Am I going crazy? In short we had a night out booked, my partner and I, my brother and his partner and my son. On the night my partner said he may leave early. My brother then cancelled and didn't come because he said my partner was out of order to him! I no longer have a relationship with my brother because he says my partner was out of order towards him for suggesting he may leave early. I say it's nothing to do with my brother and my partner doesn't have to answer to him. Am I wrong? Thanks

GrazingSheep · 27/08/2024 13:56

🤷‍♀️

Hoppinggreen · 27/08/2024 13:57

I am not sure you actually mean "disowned" but unless your brother has form for being a Dick I can see that he might be a bit upset an organised night was possibly ending early
However, its not worth falling out over

Original poster

Simplymeunapologetically · 27/08/2024 14:03

Hoppinggreen · 27/08/2024 13:57

I am not sure you actually mean "disowned" but unless your brother has form for being a Dick I can see that he might be a bit upset an organised night was possibly ending early
However, its not worth falling out over

Hoppinggreen
My brother has basically said he wants nothing to do with my partner ever again as he suggested he may leave early.
The night wouldn't have ended earlier as the rest of hs would have still stayed out.
I just can't see how my partner has to explain his actions to my brother? Surely if I'm happy with what he's doing then it has nothing to do with anyone else? This is why I'm confused.

OP posts:

Girlmom35 · 27/08/2024 14:05

Is this a thing your brother does often? Does he easily get personally offended by actions that have nothing to do with him?

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 27/08/2024 14:06

Unless there was a good reason for leaving early e.g. very early start the next day, I would find someone just getting up and leaving for no reason rude.

CelestialNexus · 27/08/2024 14:06

If that is truely the only reason, then your brother is a dick

RaspberryWhirls · 27/08/2024 14:06

You lot sound like a bunch of 15 year old teenagers.

ManhattanPopcorn · 27/08/2024 14:07

How/why did your partner say he had to leave early? Did he say he had an early start in the morning and much as he'd like to stay he really needed an early night or did he imply that he was bored and just wanted to get out of there? There's a range of ways you can leave early.
Does your brother have a history of taking offence where none is intended? Does your husband have a history of being rude to your family? There's a whole lot more to this story.

DelphiniumBlue · 27/08/2024 14:10

Why was your partner going to leave early? What was the night out? And would your brothers partner have stayed if he left?
I can understand why your partner was annoyed, and unless there was a really good reason I think your brother was rude, but everyone seems to be overreacting- it's an annoyance rather than a cutting someone off incident.
And just because your partner doesn't want to see your brother, why does that mean you no longer have a relationship with your brother?
I suspect you have a partner problem here.

DelphiniumBlue · 27/08/2024 14:13

Sorry, I've got the partner and brother muddled up, and can't edit!
Anyway the one who said they were going to leave early was rude, the other one overreacted, and now they are both overreacting.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 27/08/2024 14:14

Sounds like the school playground.

Original poster

Simplymeunapologetically · 27/08/2024 14:14

Girlmom35 · 27/08/2024 14:05

Is this a thing your brother does often? Does he easily get personally offended by actions that have nothing to do with him?

Yes he does. My partner has always let it go over his head despite thinking his opinions towards him are ridiculous.
My partner even tried to clear the air and messaged him (after the night out went ahead and nobody left early) to try to clear the air for my sake but it didn't help.

OP posts:

jellybe · 27/08/2024 14:14

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 27/08/2024 14:06

Unless there was a good reason for leaving early e.g. very early start the next day, I would find someone just getting up and leaving for no reason rude.

But he didn't just get up and leave he gave them all a heads up before hand that height have to leave early then the OPs brother cancelled everything and now is throwing a hissy fit.

OP is ignore my brother when he behaved like this and treat him like the toddler he is being.

Original poster

Simplymeunapologetically · 27/08/2024 14:16

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 27/08/2024 14:06

Unless there was a good reason for leaving early e.g. very early start the next day, I would find someone just getting up and leaving for no reason rude.

He wasn't just getting up and leaving early, he mentioned to me he may do so that i was aware and said thats absolutely fine. My brothers partner gets up and leaves early most times we go out and as long as my brother is happy then what's it to do with me?

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Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 27/08/2024 14:21

Did this night out involve much alcohol? This sounds very much like the reactions of people who have "had a few". I am wondering whether this is a case of: "I need to go" and the "That is out of order" thing related to a few pints? It sounds like that when I read the words as they aren't normal responses usually.🌸

Original poster

Simplymeunapologetically · 27/08/2024 14:22

ManhattanPopcorn · 27/08/2024 14:07

How/why did your partner say he had to leave early? Did he say he had an early start in the morning and much as he'd like to stay he really needed an early night or did he imply that he was bored and just wanted to get out of there? There's a range of ways you can leave early.
Does your brother have a history of taking offence where none is intended? Does your husband have a history of being rude to your family? There's a whole lot more to this story.

My partner casually mentioned it to me becayae he isnt a clubbing person. As my brohters partner always keaves early o didnt think it would be an issue to anyone else and I said that's fine. When my brother got wind of it he kicked off.

My brother has been bringing it up since April saying be wants nothing to do with my partner so we don't talk now.

My brother is highly strung and my partner hasn't done anything to my family.

OP posts:

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 27/08/2024 14:24

Simplymeunapologetically · 27/08/2024 14:16

He wasn't just getting up and leaving early, he mentioned to me he may do so that i was aware and said thats absolutely fine. My brothers partner gets up and leaves early most times we go out and as long as my brother is happy then what's it to do with me?

Show quote history

If someone leaves early with no good reason given, I take the inference they actually don't want to be there and I would find that rude. Just my opinion.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 27/08/2024 14:24

Let him carry on with his tantrum. There's not really much else to do.

Are your parents pandering to him?

Original poster

Simplymeunapologetically · 27/08/2024 14:25

DelphiniumBlue · 27/08/2024 14:13

Sorry, I've got the partner and brother muddled up, and can't edit!
Anyway the one who said they were going to leave early was rude, the other one overreacted, and now they are both overreacting.

My partners brother has been leaving nights out early for 20 years and nobody has said a word.
My point is the only person my partner has to answer to is me surely?
My partner has tried to calm things with my brother by saying sorry for suggesting be may leave early (even though I don't think he should have to) but my brother has said he wants nothing to do with him again.

OP posts:

PolePrince55 · 27/08/2024 14:27

Maybe ur brother has other reasons for disliking you partner x

Nanny0gg · 27/08/2024 14:28

Simplymeunapologetically · 27/08/2024 14:16

He wasn't just getting up and leaving early, he mentioned to me he may do so that i was aware and said thats absolutely fine. My brothers partner gets up and leaves early most times we go out and as long as my brother is happy then what's it to do with me?

Show quote history

If you arrange a night out, it is possible to be a bit miffed if someone wants to leave early

What was the reason?

Original poster

Simplymeunapologetically · 27/08/2024 14:28

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 27/08/2024 14:21

Did this night out involve much alcohol? This sounds very much like the reactions of people who have "had a few". I am wondering whether this is a case of: "I need to go" and the "That is out of order" thing related to a few pints? It sounds like that when I read the words as they aren't normal responses usually.🌸

Funny enough nobody had any alcohol when my partner said he may leave early. The night hadn't even begun.
My brother and his partner cancelled and didn't come but we all went and stayed until the end

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 27/08/2024 14:29

How old are you all?

Original poster

Simplymeunapologetically · 27/08/2024 14:30

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 27/08/2024 14:24

If someone leaves early with no good reason given, I take the inference they actually don't want to be there and I would find that rude. Just my opinion.

Show quote history

Fair enough.
I've never taken offense to my brothers partner leaving most nights out early to be honest.
My partner didn't leave early just suggested he may do

OP posts:

Noseybookworm · 27/08/2024 14:33

Maybe your brother just doesn't like your partner and was looking for an excuse to fall out with him?!