Ghosted by boyfriend of a year

[GladAmberEagle]

Hi all, not really a point of this but just need to vent my feelings.

Met someone who I thought was an amazing guy a year ago, been together a year. We see each other once a week due to having children and text every day.

We spent the day together on Thursday, had a lovely time together. He dropped me off at my house and I asked him to give me a text. The previous week I had brought up to him how the communication between us was dwindling - I felt like the past few weeks it was always me texting first, him taking 24 hours to reply etc. He apologised and said he would make more of an effort.

Obviously this is a sign of what was to come but I didn’t realise it would be so bad - he dropped me off, kissed me goodbye and I have not heard from him since. I text Thursday evening asking him what his plans were on Friday and he never responded.

I refuse to blow up his phone and ask why etc. I know he is okay because I am very close to his family - they are extremely angry with him but don’t want to say anything to him until he actually gathers the courage to say something to me.

pretending that everything is fine and then suddenly ghosting me, after a year together, seems so incredibly cruel. I have a huge stressful commitment coming up in 2 weeks which he knows about too, I can’t believe he’s chosen now to do something so cruel to me.

"Not being the best at texting and phoning is not the same as not hearing from your partner for two whole weeks!"

I honestly couldn't tell you now how long these gaps would be, as this was over 20 years ago now....but probably multiple days at least, as he's more of a functional/practical texter as opposed to long multiple-text conversation kind of guy. I was just saying OP could remain open minded rather than jumping to the ghosting explanation. But I also prefaced this by saying it was looking increasingly unlikely as time goes on...And yeah, not responding to a direct question about when they were meeting up next isn't great...

Nobody was having long multiple text conversations 20 years ago so that’s irrelevant. In any case it has never been normal to not speak to your partner for 2+ weeks.

how are you doing OP

Feeling okay, thank you! A mixed bags of emotions - feels as though the relationship was a fever dream since it ended with no explanation. Going from talking to someone and seeing them every week for a year to nothing is quite something. I’m still feeling waves of anger and sadness, but with no desire for an explanation and staying focused on my kids and enjoying the rest of their summer!

I say this kindly but from your own admission you saw him only once a week, whilst texting everyday inbetween, yet you were the one who instigated these texts everyday.

You demanded more and he then ghosted you.
Maybe you felt closer seeing as you were entwined with his family but really after a year I would have thought seeing one another more than once a week would have been expected.

I hope you put him in the past and find someone who matches your own energy.

Sorry to say but… Sounds like he’s maybe just not that in to you anymore and that’s ok. He just needs to be straight with you. Plus, it’s got nothing to do with his family really either, they’re can’t force him to feel a certain way. I’d pull up your big girl pants and focus on you ✌

Erm it's obvious he's not into the relationship anymore. That's not the point, is it? At all.

The point is how disrespectfully he's behaved.

I mean, I quite clearly understand that he’s not into me anymore… but after a year of being a couple, I deserve more than just being ghosting. And I know his family have nothing to do with his feelings - I meant because I don’t understand what he gains out of ghosting me when I am still and always will be involved in his family. It’s not as though he will never hear about me again.

Seriously, use your brain!

What a worm op. Spineless twat 🙄

What a patronising post

Move on now, Op.
You deserve to find a keeper without waiting for a rude boy.

Don't forget to take your new boyfriends around to meet his family. Ha ha.

It was little over 2 weeks ago, and I was with the man for a year. I’m coping with it the best way I can - if that means ranting about him for a few weeks online then so be it. Unfortunately I’m not a robot who can switch my feelings off. I know I will get over it, but I’m not going to feel bad about talking about it for now.

Bloody hell! The woman's been unceremoniously dumped by a total coward - she's not a bloody robot! What a shit thing to say to someone!

Rant away. Some of the posts on here are unbelievably dumb.

Please ignore all posts of this ilk, OP.

Ghosting is cowardly and cruel. You are well within your rights to be upset and angry.

Put yourself in someone else's shoes.

It's been 2 weeks after 1 year, judgey pants! Hardly obsessive?

It's cathartic to let it out somewhere. Op is using here to sound off. Leave her be.

Op you're doing brilliantly and with dignity too! Keep your chin up. You're worth a 100 of him!

@GladAmberEagle I know it's been a few months, so wondering how you are now and if you got more closure