Where is he really from?

[shewhosellsshoes]

Been seeing a guy for a few weeks, seems to be going well.
Originally told me he was Greek, said parents were born there but he was raised in Turkey. Then I overheard him telling someone who served us in a cafe that he's of Azerbaijani origins (no idea who that conversation came up as I'd been in the toilet and later joined him in the queue).
Over the couple of weeks following this, I starting getting bit suspicious so asked if he'd show me his passport or UK visa so that I could be certain about his true nationality. Not that I have any problems with any nationality, I just need to know who he is and where he's really from! Like, seriously.
He got a bit cagey and said his passport is being held by the Home Office. I was like why on earth would that be? As far as I'm aware, none of the 3 countries he's mentioned so far are particularly dangerous, risky etc.
He said it's because there's an admin problem with the passport but refused to elaborate. I asked to see any national ID card or driving license etc but he said doesn't have them.
Google searches reveal nobody with the name he's been using. And it's a name that isn't particularly foreign-sounding. Think along the lines of "Johnny" or "Freddie".
How can I find out who he really is? I like him a lot but doesn't want to invest my time in a potential relationship with someone who either turns out to be lying about his nationality or maybe turns out to have no legal status in the UK.
Appearance wise, he's pretty generic looking... Could pass as being from anywhere Mediterrean, Middle East or Eastern Europe. Just don't know what do do. He speaks with an accent but I can't place it. I've never actually heard him speak his native language (whatever that might be), so can't even guess at what it is or would sound like.
What do I do?

Albanian, can have a lot of mixed heritage or even Kurds

If it's not too outing where are you from? Sometimes certain nationalities end up in certain parts of the UK, dependent upon if there is already a community established. Maybe we can guess that way?

I've come across some people saying there are Greek or Italian when they are really from the sub continent, but that's obvious, well to me anyway they were lying.
I've come across some people saying they are Italian when they were Romanian.
Not sure why people lie about this though.

Azerbaijan? Would there be much migration from that country to UK?

Like PP's have said - the fact that he is lying is enough to dump him.

Romanians are aware of their poor reputation abroad and so some say they are Italian.

In the 1990s I met quite a few Polish people who pretended to be French

Whatever the person’s origins, pretending to be of a different nationality would be a deal breaker for me as 1) it’s a lie and 2) it kind of says I think you’re stupid and can’t tell the difference.

Thing is OP , people who are here legit from places like Albania or Turkey or Armenia nearly always make sure they have ID on them readily available because they are far more likely to need them for various things- even true for many EU citizens post Brexit. When we lived in Denmark post Brexit, I had my Danish residents card on me all the time

@Waterboatlass just because people aren’t using outright slurs doesn’t mean that there isn’t a really unpleasant subtext to some of the comments - and I did specifically say “some of” the comments, not that the thread is “filled” with hatred. I appreciate that many commenters have said it doesn’t really matter, and agree with them that the lying is the main problem.

@Crikeyalmighty what’s Armenia got to do with OP’s boyfriend!?

And why have multiple posters decided OP’s boyfriend must be Albanian!? I mean - we all know why - but this is exactly what I mean.

How did you meet?

He's either illegal or looking for a wife visa.

@emelina15 well this disproves my point!

I thought there were barely any Greek people in Turkey, due to... history. So I googled and apparently there are about 2500 Greek people living in Turkey today. The original story is possible, but not particularly likely.

Anyway it's not the point, if you can't ask someone where they are from and get a straight answer, you shouldn't be dating them, full stop.

We've made the suggestion because of our own experiences. I made the suggestion but I don't think badly of Albania or Albanians - I speak some of the language and have friends from there now. But I also have my personal experience of exactly what OP described and I know quite a bit about what's gone on in the past and currently with Albanians which is leading to some people lying about their nationality.

Tbh I feel very sorry for people who feel the need to do that...

I do think she should leave him for being untrustworthy and lying though.

For what it's worth my ex was relieved when I told him I knew his real nationality. Then he very proudly spoke about his country. It started off because we met on a night out and think he lied thinking he wouldn't see me again!

This guy sounds way more shady.

I haven’t read the whole thread but it sounds as if he doesn’t have leave to remain and might be looking for marriage - has he mentioned marriage?

If he's Turkish he could also be from Greece or the Greek Islands. I had two Turkish friends one was from Thessaloniki and one from Crete. They were Turks from Greece but they had to flee during the war and leave their homes etc but they are from Greece iyswim. But to me this sounds most likely 1) he is Albanian or 2) Kurdish particularly Iraqi

The closest thing to this I have known personally was a young man who would say he was from a different country as he didn’t want anyone working out that his family belonged to a certain community within his actual home country.

When he first arrived in the UK, he hadn’t hidden his heritage & had suffered discrimination and abuse. He then moved 200 miles away & started to use a different version of the truth (he had a relative living in the country he claimed to be from).

Despite all that he still told me the truth once we were friends & he knew he could trust me.

IIf his passport is with the Home Office he doesn’t have a visa. It can take years for someone to get a visa. It sounds as if he’s probably working ‘off the books’ - tell him you don’t mind if he’s from the planet Jupiter but you can’t continue a relationship with someone who is telling you half a story.

I once dated someone whose passport had been with the Home Office for 12 years whilst he waited for his asylum application to be processed. That didn’t bother me but he was on every online dating site in the region and just texted every now and again after I made it clear FWB wasn’t an option. His number is deleted and blocked by me so I don’t know where he is now.

OP, you just do not want this problem. or situation in your future.

He's not even honest about where he comes from!

Just finish with him. You don’t even know his actual real name let alone where he may have been born or where his family live. This is not someone to waste your time on.

It’s only been a few weeks. There are plenty of men out there without mystery passports, I’d chalk this one up to experience and move on.

The Turkish and the Greeks don't get along too well.

The biggest red flags really are the hiding stuff, lies and not being open/honest.

The logical thoughts are that:
. He has either come here illegally and has no documentation at all
. He has come here illegally but is going through the asylum process, hence the Home Office holding his passport
. He was originally here legally, his visa has lapsed and renewal application refused due to no longer being eligible for the visa type he entered on (worker, fiance/spouse, student)

https://ukimmigrationjusticewatch.com/2016/05/27/the-home-office-and-national-passports-resolving-validity-expedition-retention-and-return-issues/

This explains the reasons why the Home Office would retain possession of passport/documents.

I've come across many of these men. They will say somewhere typically more 'socially accepted' like Greece but more than likely Albania or Kurdish
His name is 100% fake. I used to chat online to an 'Iranian called Ray' who was actually an 'Afghani called Rehman' who was married hence the fake name and ethnicity. You never really know who people are, especially if you aren't used to characteristics or accents of other ethnicities. It can be quite easy to spot.

But that's not the point here.the point is he is full of lies and won't be honest with you. So that's why people are telling you to ditch him.

Have more self respect than this.

He's lying to you from day 1 of dating. About something that's pretty fucking fundamental about himself. It doesn't matter how much you like him - you deserve better than a liar, and for all you know he could be incredibly dangerous. Throw him back.