Where is he really from?

[shewhosellsshoes]

Been seeing a guy for a few weeks, seems to be going well.
Originally told me he was Greek, said parents were born there but he was raised in Turkey. Then I overheard him telling someone who served us in a cafe that he's of Azerbaijani origins (no idea who that conversation came up as I'd been in the toilet and later joined him in the queue).
Over the couple of weeks following this, I starting getting bit suspicious so asked if he'd show me his passport or UK visa so that I could be certain about his true nationality. Not that I have any problems with any nationality, I just need to know who he is and where he's really from! Like, seriously.
He got a bit cagey and said his passport is being held by the Home Office. I was like why on earth would that be? As far as I'm aware, none of the 3 countries he's mentioned so far are particularly dangerous, risky etc.
He said it's because there's an admin problem with the passport but refused to elaborate. I asked to see any national ID card or driving license etc but he said doesn't have them.
Google searches reveal nobody with the name he's been using. And it's a name that isn't particularly foreign-sounding. Think along the lines of "Johnny" or "Freddie".
How can I find out who he really is? I like him a lot but doesn't want to invest my time in a potential relationship with someone who either turns out to be lying about his nationality or maybe turns out to have no legal status in the UK.
Appearance wise, he's pretty generic looking... Could pass as being from anywhere Mediterrean, Middle East or Eastern Europe. Just don't know what do do. He speaks with an accent but I can't place it. I've never actually heard him speak his native language (whatever that might be), so can't even guess at what it is or would sound like.
What do I do?

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Why would you pursue a relationship with someone who can't or won't give you a straight answer to the most basic of questions? If there was a legitimate reason why he doesn't have access to his own passport, he'd have explained it. Get rid.

You not minding where he’s from is not really the point is it….?
you couldn’t make this stuff up. 🙈🙈🙈

Even of he were legit, why in earth would you be with someone in a low paid job who has no prospects?

'He said he works for a friend doing house removals, no idea whether on the books or cash in hand. '

How would he afford to get married, but a home or have children?

Raise your standards .

Deep undercover agent for Russia, a sleeper member of a terrorist cell, agent for MI5/6, visa overstayer, criminal, telling the truth. Who knows?

If your spidey senses are tingling, listen to that sound.

See the first bit I can believe, I was born in country A, raised in country B and have descendents from country C, so would potentially say thats my origins however I have my passport, can think of no reason for the home office to be holding it etc etc. He's definitely hiding stuff so I wouldn't invest anymore in this relationship

You think people in low paid jobs shouldn't have relationships or families?

Leaving this aside I still this particular relationship is doomed as he is hiding something.

Move on, it doesn't sound like he wants to be honest about his real name and where he's from, one lie leads to a snowball of lies

He isn't in a place for a relationship financially or immigration status wise. It sounds like he wanted a casual one night stand, told a white lie so that the entire discussion doesn't revolve around his real country and immigration status, gave a westernised name for ease and new identity, and now dating you has stuck and the lies are escalating.
At this point he could be from Mars,it doesn't matter where or why he lied. Just let him go and raise your standards.

You are missing the point, it's not necessarily red flag wherever he's from as long as he doesn't lie about it. But he is clearly lying about it, that is the red flag. It looks like he is illegal, if he's from anywhere in Europe ( other than Ukraine) he's an illegal economic migrant, but from what you say he could be from Middle Eastern origin.

I swear every time I see a thread and think the bar can’t get any lower, along comes another one lower than a snakes belly to prove me wrong

Seriously you don’t know his name, his nationality, his job, who he really is or whether legally allowed here or not. He could be a criminal on the run but hey at least his cock works so all good 🤦‍♀️

He has shown himself to be a liar already! What more do you need. Bin this one, he is hiding something. Probably got a wife & kids back "home" wherever that is.

Massive red flags here.

I'd guess he's saying no SM and lying because he already has a wife and family.

Don't waste your time.

There is a wider Turkish identity that goes beyond Turkiye. For example, some Iranians of Azeri (Azerbaijani) origin call themselves "Turks" in a loose sense. Is it possible he's an Azeri Iranian and has claimed asylum and for some reason doesn't want you knowing? Could he conceivably have thought being from Turkey itself was more attractive than Iran (or some other country with a similar scenario?) Just a possibility, mind you.

You have questions you need to ask yourself: Do you want to become emotionally invested with someone who could potentially be arrested and deported for being an illegal? Do you want to be with someone who is secretive and not transparent? Is there any future in this relationship?

Are you at all concerned that these ‘house removals’ aren’t with the owner’s consent?

What else does he have to lie about before you realise this is going nowhere?

I have a colleague from Azerbaijan and she has a collection of other passports too. Nationality seems less of a distinct concept for her - she considers Turkey to be equally as much her home as Baku and she's fluent in Russian and Turkish.

Yeah, it could just be that his origins are Azerbaijani but his family ended up in Greece and that's why he said he was Greek.

You left out fantasist.

OP, it’s not looking good. Don’t be a statistic.

Agree with many previous posters - most likely, he is here illegally, and he is keeping it from you because (any or all reasons) it's complicated, he doesn't want you to end up in trouble, telling you is a risk, he hopes that links with you would eventually help him remain, he knows it won't work in the end but enjoys the relationship while it lasts...

If you value the relationship, this needs to come out in the open. (if not, get rid asap). "in the open" means tell him you know his situation is not straighforward and probably not legal, that you are prepared to take some risks - being seen as supporting an illegal migrant, going through a forced breakup if he is deported - to stay with him, but that you won't stay in the dark.

He'll fob you off, he'll say it's not your business, he'll lie some more with some rubbish stories. Don't take that for an answer, but if you want to support him, then it's a special commitment (partners in crime? I'm confused there), so think about it.

It's a long and windy road from there, so good luck if you're taking it, and if you're not, we all understand.

This exact thing happened to my friend. She was in a relationship with a "Greek" man for a couple of years. He worked cash in hand cleaning cars. This was years ago, before social media etc. Towards the end of their relationship she got suspicious about one thing or another and started looking through his stuff one day. She found numerous passports with different nationalities and names! He'd given her not only a fake ethnicity and nationality, but a fake name also. It transpired he was Albanian and had entered the country illegally. He ended up stealing her savings and returning to Albania to marry another woman in an arranged marriage after his father died.

I'd say RUN!

You're being an absolute idiot. I predict another thread a few months on when he's completely destroyed your life.

He's holding back, so he's hiding something.

Not much point in being with someone who can't be straightforward and honest.

Exactly what I was thinking. Move on.