Would you date a bisexual man?

[BeJustScroller]

Because as a man I think im bisexual (although never done anything with a guy before) but I can only see myself dating and marrying a woman, I have sexual attraction to both but romantically only into women. Would this turn women off?

I think it is something-phobic, yes. It's misogynistic. That doesn't have the ending -phobia but it's the same thing.

This thread is full of lots of biphobia - as could be predicted.

I would work out your feelings without hiding them first

So my gay best friend in college who retched and yelled 'ew, ew, dear God no, that's disgusting' when someone was talking about sex with women was being something-phobic?

Yes, because he could have calmly said, "it just doesn't do it for me, please can we talk about something else?"

@Kianai I don't really understand your point.
Of course anyone can not want to have sex with anyone for any reason.

Your friend was being offensive and misogynist.

As someone once said "a simple no would suffice"

It wouldn’t bother me, but then I am also bisexual. Something about how you’ve phrased your OP, however, makes me want to clarify that I would want a monogamous partner, whatever their sexual orientation. So, being in a relationship with a man who also finds men attractive and has had sexual encounters with men, fine. Being in a relationship with a man who wants freedom to have sexual encounters with men whilst being in a relationship with me, not fine.

Why?

He was a lovely man, most of his friends were women. He was the first to stand up for you if someone did or said something actually sexist.

He was a gay man, being disgusted by the thought of having sex with women, and expressing that in a discussion about the subject, didn't make him a misogynist. He loved and valued me as a person, he just would have been horrified at the thought of sex with me.

Do people like you genuinely not understand that throwing these words around for petty shit (like being offended someone wouldn't fuck you/ someone you know) completely dilutes them, and renders them powerless against the actual problems they represent?

People aren't obligated to phrase their genuine thoughts and feelings in a way that you personally wouldn't find offensive.

I'm bi, have dated bi.
The fear from women that their husband would cheat on them stems from the hundreds of years where homophonic was stigmatised as a crime, against God, disgusting etc, so men ended up marrying women and living heterosexual lives for fear of being discovered and shunned and put to death, and ended up cheating to live freely. It's horrible, and homophobia hurt men and women across history.
However, while homophobia is still rampant, it's 2024, the fear is lessening with each generation.
The people who wouldn't sleep with a bisexual man because it would make their stomach churn - fine, more for me!
I wouldn't sleep with a man who got all super freaked out and disgusted by the idea of two men together, I find those type of men incredibly childish.
'It's not for me, never fancied it, just dont find men attractive' is a perfectly reasonable response - the men going 'ugh no, that's fucking disgusting, I would never, how GROSS' I find to be lacking in other ways, tbh. We are all allowed preferences - it's the way you talk about it that matters, with respect preferably.
I find someone secure in their sexuality very attractive. And by that I mean straight man who would go 'Ryan Gosling, what a good looking guy', want to hear all about their gay male friends latest date, who hugs his friends and lets his kids paint his nails and is happy to dance to 'girly' music - any man who gets weird about any of these kind of things because of weird ingrained notions of sexuality and masculinity is just so deeply unattractive to me.

@Kianai "
Do people like you genuinely not understand that throwing these words around for petty shit (like being offended someone wouldn't fuck you/ someone you know"

Nobody is being offended at people choosing who they will or will not fuck. They are being offended at the obviously offensive language being used to express that choice.

Wow, your misogyny and porn sickness are showing.

No, I wouldn't. I am in my late 50s.

Adding ‘phobia’ on to any old word to force your point of view is deeply suspect.

Do I respect bisexual people’s right to be bisexual, and to live lives free of discrimination and in relationships with whomever they choose? Yes.

Do I fancy bisexual men? No.

Very, very different things. You’d have to either be a bit dense or have a sus agenda to dispute that.

No but when they are offensive we can label them as such? And that was a misogynistic statement from him.

There is a lot of space between 'I don't personally want to hear about the sex you had with a woman' and 'ew, ew, dear God no, that's disgusting'.

Interrogate why he thinks it is disgusting - because women's bodies are disgusting..? That's a misogynistic thought.

Can some people really not get that’s there’s a huge difference between ‘no not for me thanks’ and ‘Bleugh that’s disgusting the thought makes me want to VOMIT’?

We’ve all got our personal preferences and that’s absolutely our prerogative. But let’s be respectful to others who are different to us

I’m ’super Straight’ like can’t even imagine wanting to have sex with a woman, don’t enjoy watching women in porn (often watch 2 men ) and would have thought I wouldn’t date a bi man, as even when watching 2 men I like them to ‘appear’ straight iyswim!

However I met DP, who is very open to trying all sorts of things, sexually and otherwise. He was very open from our first date that he was intrigued at the idea, but hadn’t ever done anything with a man (apart from a very drunken encounter with a TW). I thought it would be a deal breaker, (along with a couple of other things he told me to be fair!) but because he was so open about it, and so lovely generally, I’ve been ok about it. How that would pan out if he actually met a man he fancied and wanted sex I don’t know yet. I’d feel bad denying him that if it’s something he really wanted to experience. But just taking it as it comes.

Yes, but there would be a chat about sexual history first. Not because I'd judge, but because I might need to stop giving blood.

often watch 2 men

I don't watch porn, but if I did, it would be two men. As it is, I have worn-out mental video tape of an MMF threesome.

Why would you have to stop giving blood?

OK, the rules have changed, so that would matter less now.

It used to be the case that women who had sex with men who had sex with men couldn't donate for three months after the most recent sexual encounter. That's now changed, I suspect because of the increase in anal sex amongst the straight population.

I've been celibate for two years so it's been a non-issue for me anyway.

These threads always bring out the homo/biphobes. As a bi person myself I actually would prefer to date a bi man, because aggressively straight people give me the ick with their reductive and prejudiced stereotypes of bi people. I'm also really not into heteronormativity, gender stereotypes and the ascribing of certain personality traits/tastes to sexuality (see previous comment about a guy liking floral clothing meaning he might be bi).

It is misogynistic, some gay men are. It's misogynistic to say "ew gross vaginas make me want to puke" same as it's bi/homophobic to say that two men together grosses you out. Totally fine not to be into it, but to be repulsed and disgusted is a deeper level of prejudice. It's no different to the way incels talk about women.

No

For those saying how offensive it is to say it turns your stomach etc - my gay friend said the thought of a woman’s bits turns his stomach. We all just found it funny.

‘Aggressively heterosexual’? Or just heterosexual? 🤔

You do you. Let others do what they want to in their sexual relationships.