My girlfriend broke up with me on June 15th, completely unexpectedly. We had been together for 18 months, living together for 9. I'm 31, she's 32, I was her first boyfriend. Our relationship was great despite a rough last few months—we never argued and shared the same values and goals. We had discussed marriage, knew our wedding venue, and wanted kids. We enjoyed weekends away and a ski trip in February. Her family and friends liked me, and mine liked her. Her stepdad has even remained supportive and in contact at times since our breakup.
In March 2024, I gambled for the first time in a year, leaving me feeling suicidal for a week and depressed for a few months. This affected my mood and resulted in a lack of activities for us, as I was too embarrassed to let her pay for everything and was struggling myself where to turn to deal with these feelings i has never had before. I then reached out for help. However much I was struggling when I was around her things were better and I still did all I could despite struggling then to be a good boyfriend. I always treated her so well and we were a great team. I know she is the one.
She was supportive when I told her I gambled, and I started therapy and medication. She noticed improvements, but then ended things on June 15th, saying she couldn’t do it anymore, we hadn’t had fun recently, and maybe we needed space. This was a shock, as she had never mentioned any issues or concerns before and there was nothing wrong between us.
The breakup spurred me into action. I started journalism, running, going to the gym, and attending both weekly group and one-on-one therapy. By June 27th, my therapist noted significant progress, and I felt like a new person—confident, focused, motivated, determined, and clear-minded. I had finally found a formula that worked for me.
I texted her on July 2nd, she replied within 30 seconds, and we met for a walk that evening. I shared the changes I’d made, and she noticed how happy and different I was, saying these changes gave her hope for our future. I read her a list of where we went wrong and solutions, including planning our months together. She was very happy and told me these changes gave her hope. I acknowledged where I went wrong, showing her a list ive made of where I went wrong, we went wrong and solutions. She was very pleased with this and liked it. One of my soluations was to get together at the beginning of the month and plan our time together so we are doing stuff and having fun.
We held hands, kissed, told each other we missed and loved each other and agreed to start talking and meeting up again. We both told each other how special this way and we have never had anything like this before. That evening, she texted, saying it was nice to see me. We continued to text on July 3rd, exchanging emotional messages and reaffirming our love for each other.
On July 4th, I went to move my stuff out. She cried the whole 1hr 30 I was there, saying it felt wrong and that she missed living with me. She apologised for not addressing issues earlier and bottling them up . Despite the emotional turmoil, she made me dinner, despite me saying I don’t want to outstay my welcome and got me sweets for my 3-hour car journey after.
Before I left, she asked for three weeks of space. I haven’t spoken to her since then, and I miss her deeply. I’m confused about why she wanted space after agreeing to meet up again.
One concern is her friend who moved in with us in January. My ex admitted she had been comparing our relationship to her friend’s long-distance relationship. She also said she was not surprised we had broken up and told her to be careful going on a walk with me. This has made me wary of what her friend might be saying, despite us always getting on.
The three weeks of space end on Thursday, I have not contacted her and I plan to let her come to me.
I’m seeking advice on whether she’ll come back and how much the changes I’ve made will influence her decision.
Many thanks.