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Original poster

Finances and Holidays

111 replies

QuickAzureBee · 20/07/2024 12:39

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years, we bought a house together 3 years ago. She has 2 girls and I have 1 boy. I have worked 3 jobs since we have met and covered all the bills as well as payed for the majority of a court case she went through with her ex which was around £25000. My girlfriend worked part time during this and covered the food bills. She has recently got a decent job with a good salary so I asked about sitting down and looking at our finances as I am left with no money by the time it comes to all the bills being paid. My suggestion was to pay a percentage each which reflects our wages and also have a pot for home improvements, holidays etc. when it came to sitting down I was told I am controlling. Within the same couple of weeks she says to my that she has booked a week off work at her new job so we can all go on holiday. After when checking everyone's calendar my son is away with his mum for the first 2 days. So I said about booking a holiday a couple days later so we can all go. She said no and that she is going away with her girls on that date no matter what. I have said that this is unfair and I do not have the finances to just go and say right I'm going away with my son and book a holiday. She has now gone and booked the holiday with just her and her 2 daughters which leaves me and my son not being able to have a holiday. I am thinking of leaving the relationship because of this. Do you think I'm wrong for feeling and being like that or am I over thinking it?

OP posts:
Original poster
QuickAzureBee · 21/07/2024 17:22

PrincessMee · 21/07/2024 17:09

Joint tenants / that was a cock up wasn't it ? 😬

It was now I'm in this position but I didn't expect her to do this.

OP posts:
Tiswa · 21/07/2024 17:46

Where does the 50k come in did you pay it into the house

are you are not married the only asset that needs splitting is the house and joint tenants means 50/50

Wherearemymarbles · 21/07/2024 18:05

I wouldn’t be moving out until I had proper legal advise.

Original poster
QuickAzureBee · 21/07/2024 18:07

Tiswa · 21/07/2024 17:46

Where does the 50k come in did you pay it into the house

are you are not married the only asset that needs splitting is the house and joint tenants means 50/50

Yes all the assets are in the house.

OP posts:
whatafaf · 21/07/2024 20:50

I think joint tenants is a mistake regardless of how the relationship is. Doesn't it mean that if you die your share automatically becomes hers? It's separate to anything in your Will. Your share of the home would not pass to your son which it could do as tenants in common? I hope I haven't got that the wrong way round.

Seen a few threads in the past where children have lost out on inheritance to their parents partner because of this. Their parents obviously didn't realise this when they purchased the property.

Original poster
QuickAzureBee · 21/07/2024 21:00

whatafaf · 21/07/2024 20:50

I think joint tenants is a mistake regardless of how the relationship is. Doesn't it mean that if you die your share automatically becomes hers? It's separate to anything in your Will. Your share of the home would not pass to your son which it could do as tenants in common? I hope I haven't got that the wrong way round.

Seen a few threads in the past where children have lost out on inheritance to their parents partner because of this. Their parents obviously didn't realise this when they purchased the property.

I was going to do a will but never got around to it. Hopefully I don't die before I get this sorted. Sitting on a Sunday night in weatherspoons is not the best idea though 😂

OP posts:
VividQuoter · 21/07/2024 21:06

I would say: just leave. You have been so generous and loving taking her out of courts and debts and providing for her and two daughters and she cannot just sit and give you a fair percentage.

I was paid for all by my husband always and from 12 h per week found now full time and do contribute. Not a percentage, but do buy tons of things and when on holiday, if he pays the accomodation, I am very happy to pay the whole food and petrol bill.

We are happy and never had shared bank account yet we never would make each other go short or without

whatafaf · 21/07/2024 21:14

Even if you had a Will leaving everything to your son your share of the house would go to her :(. I hope the same of the property doesn't take too long for you so you can both move on from this.

Finances and Holidays
honeylulu · 22/07/2024 08:34

You can sever the joint tenancy and I suggest you do that as soon as possible. You can do it with or without the other owner's consent. The default position will then be that you each own 50% of the property separately as tenants in common. At the moment you each own 100% (so if one of you dies the surviving owner is the sole owner - there is no "50%" to pass to your son either by will or intestacy).

Here's how to do it. (I think it's valid from the point of giving notice but it's obviously easier to prove once formally registered.)

https://www.gov.uk/joint-property-ownership/change-from-joint-tenants-to-tenants-in-common

Disclaimer: I'm a solicitor but not a property or family law specialist.

Joint property ownership

Check if you're a joint tenant or tenants in common. Change from joint tenants to tenants in common, or tenants in common to joint tenants

https://www.gov.uk/joint-property-ownership/change-from-joint-tenants-to-tenants-in-common

Original poster
QuickAzureBee · 22/07/2024 09:54

honeylulu · 22/07/2024 08:34

You can sever the joint tenancy and I suggest you do that as soon as possible. You can do it with or without the other owner's consent. The default position will then be that you each own 50% of the property separately as tenants in common. At the moment you each own 100% (so if one of you dies the surviving owner is the sole owner - there is no "50%" to pass to your son either by will or intestacy).

Here's how to do it. (I think it's valid from the point of giving notice but it's obviously easier to prove once formally registered.)

https://www.gov.uk/joint-property-ownership/change-from-joint-tenants-to-tenants-in-common

Disclaimer: I'm a solicitor but not a property or family law specialist.

Thank you

OP posts:
Lunamoon23 · 22/07/2024 18:58

So does she know that you intend to leave because of her selfish behaviour? And she's still putting her foot down and refusing to pay her share? .... if so that tells you everything.

But I would seriously consider moving out before seeking legal advice.
A woman scorned can be very difficult... (I speak as a woman) you'd still be responsible for paying your half of the mortgage and council tax whilst your name is joined to both. Plus paying your expenses to live elsewhere, she could sell possessions within the home without you being there, she could default on payments and you'd be jointly responsible. It can get very hostile. I'd stay put until seeking legal advice and knowing how to deal with it appropriately. Maybe buy a blow up mattress to address the bad back from the sofa situation, set up camp in your son's room maybe when he isn't there? X

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