Fiancé looks at porn and masturbates after sex (he finished)

[Gemgom123]

I’m feeling slightly concerns with my fiancés recent actions. Note I’m generally not the masturbation police and would expect it for DH working away or at home alone bored no sex for a while ect!
having said that my partner has always explained to me in past that porn isn’t really his thing and that he doesn’t quite get the obsession of you have a women who you are attracted to and are completely satisfied with.
having said that I was shocked to find my fiancé stood in the kitchen with a semi hard on scrolling through porn hun approx 2 hours after we had sex and he finished.
he was mortified and I was furious because of the I appropriateness, we live in a small flat it’s was approx 7pm myself and kids were sat awake in the living room reading stories
fast forward to this morning I brought it up again and asked him if this was normal behaviour given his previous attitude regarding porn and he said it’s very normal he knows of men who go into the shower immediately after sex and masturbate the key concerned for me here is that he added “ if they don’t cheat this is normal behaviour”
he then back pedalled become confused said he didn’t know what he was saying cause he was half asleep didn’t mean it like that ect ect.

I am left feeling concerned that I’m not enough anymore his statement endorsed to me that whilst he would never cheat on me he isn’t fulfilled am I over reading this ….honest opinions please

Is he the father of your children?
If not I would be wanting him out of my house.
His behaviour is disgusting and I wouldn't want that around my children.

It’s a bit strange, after he had already ‘finished’ during sex!

Sounds to me as though porn very much is his thing. The fact he previously has made a point of saying it isn't is dubious - it's like the very guys who say they are totally against cheating are the ones who do.

Now he is trying to normalise his behaviour by telling you a lot of men do this after sex with their partner. He is trying to make you feel abnormal for having a very normal repugnance for what he has done.

The fact he was doing this in the kitchen where anyone , including the children , could walk in on him seems to indicate he has a real porn addiction problem.

I wouldn't want to continue my relationship with him.

So you had sex at 5pm, then found him with his todger in the kitchen watching porn at 7pm, where were the children.

So he’s wanking to porn in the kitchen while the kids are in the next room watching tv and could walk in at any minute?

I don’t think wondering if you’re enough for him is the problem here

I work from home the kids go to an after school club he came home early this day also given the kids are a busy part of our evening routine we had sex. We then went to get the kids went out for dinner came home I was reading the kids a bedtime story not in their bed on the sofa sort of a wind down thing for them then yep walked into the kitchen. He wasn’t full on masturbating but had a hard on and was intensly looking at something his search history shows it was porn hun. I was furious thinking he was chatting with someone else because I can’t comprehend how he would even think he had a chance of mastirbation in the kitchen stood upright everyone awake still

There's something wrong with him. Are there other strange aspects to his behaviour?

Yea he is the father And this is out of character for him I’m completely filled with mixed emotions disgust about the kids being awake up in the living room, I feel lied too as another post mentioned the fact he made a previous point about porn not being his thing was probably a tactic to fool me and lie to him self. I also can’t help but feel not good enough as I said this is not a otter. Or common theme I’ve noticed all very strange

My husband has an incredibly high sex drive and we have been together 12 years. He would never ever do this so him saying it's normal / it isn't. Also if you've had sex 2 hours previously it's really really odd.

I'd wonder about his mental health. Masturbating in the kitchen with children around is completely off the wall.

@SamW98 i understand there are bigger questions that come into play here but luckily the children did not walk in he probably knew that they were preoccupied as I was reading to them both. It’s not a common theme I’ve noticed and as a women I can’t help but question if his urge came from a feeling of dissatisfaction based on our sex he swears is not the case and he was just curious but so much of it just seems odd to me

I would not be with a man who looked at porn. Ever. Sorry but that is cheating and is a dealbreaker. It's disrespectful to women, misogynistic, and it's wellknown that many of the women on Pornhub have been sex trafficked and/or are being raped.

Sorry but I would call off the wedding. At least for the timebeing. I would tell him I will never have a man watch porn in my house, nor will I ever be with a man who watches porn and it's a dealbreaker.

You seriously need o get that man out of your house. Any bloke that thinks it is ok to stand in the kitchen naked with a hard on a few yards from children is not right, he has no boundries.

He sounds addicted to porn

@Getonwitit he wasn’t stood naked he was dressed his hard on potruding through his shorts phone in hand he said he wa a looking at porn hun

I would be exploring whether he is addicted to porn.

but luckily the children did not walk in he probably knew that they were preoccupied as I was reading to them both.

Stop bullshitting yourself. Read your sentence again. If you and the kids were preoccupied how come you walked in on him? You were supposedly preoccupied too.

Kick him out, he is so disrespectful for you all as a family. Looking at porn in the communal room when the kids were around is NOT normal, it's disgusting.

The only things I can think of are - he's either a porn addict or he has a fetishism for people to catch him out/watching. What a lovely guy...

He sounds absolutely addicted to porn.
His behaviour is so inappropriate I would definitely not be rushing to marry him.
You are entwined enough having children.
Imagine if your children walked in on that?
You do realise that children being exposed to inappropriate behaviour and content is actually abusive?
Take it very seriously OP.

@Dayoldbag I agree with this entirely but maybe I haven’t made it clear that he was not stood there naked and didn’t not have his hands in his trousers. I walked in and he acted shady so I questioned what he was doing he then tried to hide his phone from me saying he was mortified it’s not abusive.
it’s strange.

@Dayoldbag yes I caught him scrolling through porn hun and yea I noticed his penis to look hard in this instance although he denies being aroused he says he was just curious but had no intention of wanking stood there I really don’t no what to think about this

No, this is not normal. It’s pretty disgusting

Exactly this!! If he really HAD to have a wank, why didn't he go to the bathroom. Disgusting, disrespectful and, quite frankly, worrying behaviour. 😟

He is a wrong un no matter what. Next it ( and there will be one) it might be your child that finds him. This is a safeguarding issue.

Honestly that's disgusting. I don't know how anyone could excuse that behaviour.

I would question why your first instinct is about the sex you had earlier not being OK. He's standing in a communal.area looking at porn. That should be your concern.

There is the possibility he wanted to be found and not by you.