Googled my boyfriends name..confused now

[Alexanadra]

Googled my boyfriend of 2 and a half years out of curiosity. He is a computer genius and writes papers. His name came up under a respectable looking site but when I pressed it a porn chat site came up. I asked him about it and he went crazy and said his Internet blocks porn sites so how could he look at them.However he is very secretive and has several phones and laptops for his work in several universities.Reason am confused is he doesn't seem to care if we have sex or not and says he has a low sex drive. Doesn't make much effort for me tbh but am I being paranoid?

Well, your answer is there in your post. Porn addict.

Doesn't look good does it OP. However, you only mentioned one site, what else came up?

If he is a computer genius his name will come up everywhere with links to his work and career. He’s on LinkedIn I assume too?

You're confused because you don't have sex often? That part isn't confusing - porn addicts are often more turned on by porn than real life sex.

So the porn site is on line and his name is on it? Thats nothing to do with him looking at porn then. Maybe it was a respectable site that he was linked with thats been hacked and pornified?.

Why would he use his actual name on a porn site? How do you know it is definitely him? I'm confused!

When I google my name it comes up that I am a research scientist living in Scotland (which I am definitely not!) So how do you know it is him?

I'm quite happy to think that people I was at school with think I'm a brainy scientist now though 😂

If he's a computer genius he knows better than to use his real name on a porn chat site. Is there any information other than his name that would suggest it's him and not someone else with the same name or username?

My name comes up on Google as a very respected academic who is a professor at a university in Australia...
Unless your bloke is the only person in the world with his name, it doesn't necessarily mean anything.

He wouldn’t use his own name on a porn site.

It sounds like a glitch or virus with the link you clicked on.

The issue with your mismatched sex drives needs addressing. If you’re only 2 years in, and he’s not interested in sex with you then you’re facing a sexless relationship, regardless of what he’s up to or watching in his own time.

You're already resentful about his lack of interest in sex and don’t appear to trust him.
The writing’s on the wall I think.

@SpeculatingRooks i’m a very accomplished equine vet in Canada, which sounds pretty good tbh compared to reality.

OP, I’m not sure what’s confusing you. How is his name appearing on a porn site? As a comment/fan? As a performer? Is it him? Surely you can tell when googling his name which links are actually him and which are someone with the same name? Unless he’s Benedict Cumberbatch or someone with a similar moniker I really don’t understand what the issue is.

So he's secretive about his work, works in several universities, you can't find anything legitimate about him online, he uses several phones and laptops. Yeah absolutely nothing suspicious in all of that sarcasm.

Add on the low sex drive and I'd throw this one back.

I'm a judge AND a dame!

You've got bigger problems than whether he's watching porn.

Sounds like a dodgy link.

Also, men watch porn. It's hardly surprising surely?

And he wouldn't use his real name on a porn site anyway.

I've never googled my name, turns out I'm an actress, also an author, and a retired woman in Liverpool.
I'm none of those things, it's very possible it's another man with that name unless it's his picture attached

If your BF is a 'computer genius and writes papers' I assume he works in academia so why not look at his LinkedIn or at the University he works at for his bio?

Also what respectable looking site links to porn? (unless it's been hacked).

In fact what is this respectable looking site so we can all have a look?

Yeah this.

However he is very secretive and has several phones and laptops for his work in several universities. Reason am confused is he doesn't seem to care if we have sex or not and says he has a low sex drive. Doesn't make much effort for me tbh but am I being paranoid?

Any reason you're with a bloke who doesn't make any effort and doesn't want to have sex with you?

Oh and nobody has "several phones" for working in Universities. Or any other job for that matter. Apart from maybe MI5.

I am just me. Which is nice but also means I can't hide.

Well his reaction says a lot. He clearly doesn't want to share his life with you. Doesn't respect or care enough about the relationship to talk and focus on the issues. Op you deserve so much more. Leave this person to their secrecy.

Don't jump the gun re the link you clicked, why would his name be out there on a respectable website that linked to porn? It doesn't make any sense, think about it for a minute.

He has lots of phones and laptops which have been issued by the universities he works for, there's nothing perverted or sinister about that.

Focus on what the real issue is, which is your mismatched sex drives and the fact that you're disappointed with your sex life. Don't go off on a tangent becasue you clicked a link on the internet.

Yes, it will be this. You can’t tell if someone has used porn by Googling their name. Even if they used their real name to log in, someone’s log-in doesn’t come up in a Google search.

What does you boyfriend do?

Oh he’s a computer genius that writes papers

Is that his job title?

Thats what he told me although my internet research tells he’s actually a porn star

If his name came up on a porn site in Google then are you saying he's appearing as a pornstar?
Can't you Google him while he's with you and show him it? But he sounds crap anyway if he never bothers with sex after only two years.
Computer geniuses don't usually use their real names when either purchasing or participating in porn.