Would this bother you?

[ChangeUsername123]

I can’t tell if my spidey senses are tingling for a reason or if they’re just off.

My DH started getting fit after being diagnosed with high blood pressure at the back end of last year. He started by joining a group through work where they do activities. There’s one woman and four men who regularly go.

My DH then started doing the Couch 2 5K thing on his own to keep the fitness going. The woman from the activity group is now doing running too and they’re both going to do the local Park Run together but just the two of them.

I was diagnosed with a long term condition a few years ago and this means I can’t do any exercise so I feel ‘left out’ a bit and I’m not sure if this is what’s clouding my judgement.

I know it might seem like I don’t trust him but I do trust him not to cheat - what I’m not sure of is whether this would lead to something because it’s new, if that makes sense? For context, we both had friends of the opposite sex when we got together and his close female friend from back then has become one of my cherished friends too. So that in itself doesn’t bother me. I think it’s the newness of this that makes me feel uncomfortable. I can’t put my finger on it though.

We’ve been together 20 years, married for 18.

Please stop sharing unhelpful and inaccurate "advice" regarding ME. As I said before, there is a reason why the main "treatment" for ME is a talking service which allow you to come to terms with the fact you have a lifelong incurable illness. There may be some people with ME who are able to manage light exercise but they are the minority and it's people like you that make our lives 10x harder when trying to explain for the 100th time why doing some yoga or doing for a walk WILL NOT help.

Also adding to my last point. Fatigue and CFS/ME are toe completely different things - one js a symptom and the other is an incurable illness of which fatigue is a symptom. "Many" people do not work with the condition - only 25% of those with CFS manage to continue to work. I am one of those 25% because luckily my job offers hybrid working and I barely do anything outside of working hours. I went out for lunch and a walk around town yesterday and I had to come home and have a three hour nap to recover - from going to lunch!!!

People also seem to not realise there are other symptoms of CFS/ME beside fatigue. Like constant and consistent pain, a weakened immune system (what if I told you I spent 6 of the last 8 weeks ill with different respiratory viruses) and many many other symptoms, don't be so absolutely ignorant. Disgusting.

This!! Don't listen to ignorant and rude comments like the prev commenter... they simply have no clue, but have to tell themselves that it's the sufferer of the illness not doing enough/doing the wrong things otherwise they'd have to accept that it's a lottery... and could happen to them and there would be nothing they could do, which is a scary idea for them.

Just an update. He didn’t do the parkrun on Sat as it was absolutely bouncing down here. Lovely summer weather!🙄

We’ve actually both been invited to a get together at her house in a couple of weeks, which on the face of it is good, but I’m feeling very awkward. I never know how I’ll feel so social activities with people I don’t know can be a bit anxiety inducing, though I’ll do my best. I also feel very insecure lately about my body and genuinely feel like I’m an embarrassment. That’s a whole other thread though.

These threads so often start out like this with a concerned OP and several posters saying why can’t the husband have close femail acquaintances, it’s no different to a male friend etc. and then it invariably turns out that there is something going on between the DH and the female ‘friend’.

If your intuition is telling you something isn’t right OP then you are probably onto something. You know your DP better than anyone of the posters on this thread.

Also FWIW I have personal experience of this sort of scenario. I was told I was being paranoid. The problem was with me, it was all in my head etc. Lo and behold it wasn’t just an innocent friendship.

I have been bitten by this -exh now shacked up with a woman he met doing shared exercise so I would be nervous. Park run always need volunteer marshals -no physical effort involved and you will get to know lots of people jointly as friends who will know you are a married couple.

I don’t think there’s anything untoward now and genuinely think he believes he would never hurt me. It’s more the potential for what it could become.

Thank you. I’m so sorry you have been through that. Life’s just shit at times isn’t it? I hope you’re in a better place now.❤️