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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

setting a little test for DH

108 replies

sentfrmmyiphone · 30/06/2024 20:07

do you ever simply get so frustrated by your partners inability to see whats in front of their eyes.

wheres my keys... right where you left them, where's the nappy sacks.. exactly where they were last time.

so today, i've decided to put my DH to the test.. we've had the grandbabies visit today, i put all the guffins away because 'he's forgotten how to fold up'. this that or other.

there an un-used nappy sack, next to the hearth... its been there now since 3pm, and normally i would just pick it up and put it away, the same as i would put things on the stairs, he will step over them, i ofcourse will pick them up and carry they up.

I wonder exactly how long it will be before he moves it, cos i won't

OP posts:
Samedaysameshit · 30/06/2024 20:22

Forever is the answer

Devilsmommy · 30/06/2024 20:23

If I had a pound for every time DH can't find something and I find it straight away right in front of his face, I'd be loaded🙄 it's almost like they don't see past the end of their nose 🤨 I'm fully invested in seeing how long it takes for the nappy bag to be noticed 😂

kkloo · 30/06/2024 20:24

What do you hope to achieve from this?
More than likely the outcome is that he's going to leave it there and you're just going to get more and more wound up and then eventually snap over it and he's going to act like it's not a big deal and nothing will change in future anyway.
It will just stress you out.

Namechangeforthis88 · 30/06/2024 20:28

Mine does this and the best bit is he's a detective, with apparently quite a good clean up rate. I tell him I should be a detective and I'd be the best detective in the force because I'm forever seeing stuff he can't see.

TheChosenTwo · 30/06/2024 20:29

Haha @Namechangeforthis88 that made me laugh 😂
OP just pick it up and get rid of it, he’ll not do it, you’ll seethe with resentment, no one wins here!

Beautifulbythebay · 30/06/2024 20:32

I have stepped over ddogs harness for 2 weeks now. In the hallway. Where dh has had to also step over it... Where he dropped it 2 weeks ago... Considering a plaque...

GreyCarpet · 30/06/2024 20:34

A friend of mine left a dirty plate on the kitchen counter in a similar move. She charted its progress on fb.

After three weeks, one of her kids wished it up and put it away. He ignored it.

Good luck!

MounjaroUser · 30/06/2024 20:39

Pretty certain I read somewhere about a MIL who put a piece of toast behind her son's and DIL's sofa to see how long it would stay there. (Or rather to see how long it would take her DIL - not her son - to find it and pick it up.

Craftycorvid · 30/06/2024 20:42

Once when I was a student sharing ‘digs’ we went on a washing up strike because a house mate never did theirs, it piled up in the sink and we’d usually wash it up simply to make space. I can tell you it remained in the sink an awfully long time until someone’s nerve broke! 🤣

sentfrmmyiphone · 30/06/2024 20:46

oh... im invested for the long haul... i'm taking a photo everyday of said nappy sac, dating it and timing the photo....

yes its petty, and yes i probably will end up losing my shit over it... but i'm going to show him my little photo record eventually...

OP posts:
ColourMeBlue · 30/06/2024 20:46

My partner does this.Drives me mad.He used a saucepan to make scrambled eggs,which i refused to wash.Didnt even mention it.He asked me after a week to wash the saucepan I had used to make eggs.Can not win at all😂

Greenflamesburn · 30/06/2024 20:57

6 years a ball of paper my grandad threw at my nan lived where it landed. He threw it, nan refused to move it. Nan instructed the kids, grandkids, friends and there kids you name it anyone that visited, not to pick it up. Even the cat knew not to play with it 😆
They hovered around it, we hovered around it, no one put it in the bin.
Then home help starting to come and they binned it. I've often wondered how long it would have remained 🤔

sentfrmmyiphone · 30/06/2024 21:17

Greenflamesburn · 30/06/2024 20:57

6 years a ball of paper my grandad threw at my nan lived where it landed. He threw it, nan refused to move it. Nan instructed the kids, grandkids, friends and there kids you name it anyone that visited, not to pick it up. Even the cat knew not to play with it 😆
They hovered around it, we hovered around it, no one put it in the bin.
Then home help starting to come and they binned it. I've often wondered how long it would have remained 🤔

oooo now thats a target to aim for

OP posts:
MaidOfAle · 30/06/2024 21:22

Why don't you all divorce these useless manchildren?

sentfrmmyiphone · 30/06/2024 21:24

MaidOfAle · 30/06/2024 21:22

Why don't you all divorce these useless manchildren?

cos its kind to keep pets?

OP posts:
MaidOfAle · 30/06/2024 21:27

sentfrmmyiphone · 30/06/2024 21:24

cos its kind to keep pets?

You can keep the dog when you divorce.

Nellieinthebarn · 30/06/2024 21:28

sentfrmmyiphone · 30/06/2024 21:24

cos its kind to keep pets?

😂

hby9628 · 30/06/2024 21:31

The toast behind the sofa is a bit mean. How often do people clean behind their sofa?
I did this with loo roll once. Left it on the stairs to see how long it took for someone to move it.
I caved after a couple of weeks.

Natty13 · 30/06/2024 21:32

My DH grew out of this VERY soon into living together. Mainly because my response was always "I've got no idea". I couldn't have been less interested in being a PA/personal Google/encyclopedia for another person (one I didn't birth). They keep asking because you keep entertaining them.

sentfrmmyiphone · 30/06/2024 21:34

oh here comes the LTB brigade! honestly, do some of you not have any fun ever?

we all love our partners dearly, but they do have their little quirks, as i am sure i have mine...

lighten up

OP posts:
SingingWaffleDoggy · 30/06/2024 21:38

I stopped throwing the empty toilet roll tubes in the bin if changed by someone else (in the interest of fairness if I finished the roll I disposed of the tube) and we made a grand total of 13 before I broke.
I only gave in then as they had started falling off the radiator on which they were stacked.

Greenflamesburn · 30/06/2024 21:39

@sentfrmmyiphone Can we see the first installment photo please 😂

HurdyGurdy19 · 30/06/2024 21:39

My husband used to travel to Holland with a previous job. He was preparing for another trip and couldn't find his passport.

He didn't quite have the balls to accuse me of hiding it, but that's what his heavy sighs and mutterings were implying.

I asked him which bag he had taken with him on his last trip.

He said he'd looked in there three times, and IT ISN'T IN THERE.

I went to the cupboard and returned within one minute with his passport that I had retrieved from the bag that he'd looked in three times.

He didn't even thank me!

Another time, he wanted the keys to the lock for the outside electric sockets. He went off on one for about half an hour because he couldn't
find them, huffing, puffing and sighing each time he looked in another location I suggested, and constantly grumbling that he ALWAYS put them in the hook. That's where the keys are kept, so why would they be in any of the locations I suggested.

Eventually I had had enough of the huffing and huffing, and joined in the hunt.

The first place I looked was on the hook where he ALWAYS put them, picked them off the hook and asked if these keys that I'd found on the hook were the ones he was looking for.

His face was a picture, and all he could say was, "well they weren't there a minute ago".

Again, implying that I had moved or hidden them.

I've reached the conclusion that he (and likely it's a skill passed down to our son) just gets "item blindness", and literally just can't see things right in front of his face.

I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, as this skill also applies to things left on the stairs that are meant to go up to the bathroom, or clean washing that needs to go upstairs, or when a toilet roll has run out and needs replacing etc, etc, etc

sentfrmmyiphone · 30/06/2024 21:41

see if this works ive not shared a photo before

setting a little test for DH
OP posts:
BuggeryBumFlaps · 30/06/2024 21:47

Not finding things and putting stuff away are two different things. My dh can man look for things, can't find them and the item will be where it's always lived. But he will always put stuff away.

That said, his bowel cancer screening kit has been in the bathroom for a month now and a plug socket that he's going to fit has been in the kitchen for about 3 months. I did move it to the 'shed pile' when sorting stuff out but he told me to leave it out for him to fit. That was another 3 months ago

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