Why is this so common now

[Howhowhowhowhmmm]

Why are so many people in relationships on dating apps or adding, liking and messaging other women or men.
Why are so many people loosing amazing people to look elsewear? Why are people npt appreciating what they have now.
I understand phones have given people access to tons of people. But have phones butchered relationships?

The amount of people i know who cant trust their partners and are monitoring them. Its horrible

I agree with you. The WWW/internet have had a detrimental effect on relationships.

100%. Tech and smartphones have made a heck of a lot of things worse. Ability to cheat and porn receptacle in every mans pocket.

Its awful to see fully fledged adults with the fears of teenagers. Its like adults are stunted now

Im in my 50’s and the amount of men my age and older on dating apps looking for ‘discrete fun’ is dreadful.

I actually had a guy message me and tell me his wife is terminally ill and she’s told him not to spend life alone and given her blessing to him letting someone. I just thought ‘and you can’t even wait until she’s passed away before you’re casting your eye out’

Ive given up ever finding a man who isn’t already in a relationship or just looking for a shag.

I agree, men in relationships 'liking' other women's pics. Sneaky way of discreetly flirting. Social media has a lot to answer for.

Social media is merely exposing these types. Which is a good thing, IMO.

Not really, it's enabling it. It's created a temptation that didnt previously exist.

But anyone who gives into temptation whilst in a committed relationship is likely to do so regardless. There are many who use SM without commenting on, and being flirty with, other women. Those who give into temptation deserve to be exposed so their partners can decide if they want to stay or leave.

I am very close to ending my relationship with my 50 year old partner. Im 36. Hes so shady with his phone. Had history of being on dating apps in our time together.
Hes acting so weird this last 2 days. I can see him replying to messages whilst hes looking at the weather.

Oh, you know..
Life is too short and let's have it all at once!!
(I don't do this, married for 20 years).
😉

I feel pained in my own relationship because even though hes off all social media for over a year he was on zoosk last year under a fake name. Had his hometown and height in their. It made me blood boil.
The trust is gone

What is he looking for on there?!

And yet you've stayed with him 🤷‍♀️ Which is enabling - if you'd left or kicked him out the first time it happened, you wouldn't be in the same situation now. It's horrible...and he's a shit...but you're putting up with it so he's going to keep doing it. Kick him out...you don't need to keep going through this...take back the power and fuck him to fuckdom 👌🏻

He's looking for a great recipe for a Shepherd's Pie, obviously 🙄

Apps have turned dating into Amazon for humans - there’s always another new toy, everyone is disposable and easily replaced and there’s endless options.

It gives men who would otherwise not have many options the delusion that the perfect (younger) woman is only ever one more swipe away.

It means instead of working on or stepping up in a relationship, they can bin it off because someone better is one swipe away.

One of the first app experiences I had told me - it’s a numbers game and if you came up in my first swipes, someone even better is in my future swipes.

10 years later he’s single, the wrong side of 50 and his coke and booze habit no longer make him seem like a wild party man to women in their 20s as he can no longer function sexually and is broke. I know this because he turned up in my messages not very long ago, bemoaning his lot and wondering if I’d be prepared to ‘give it a go as you were the best of the lot, I just had to test my theory’.

I declined. The older they get the more delusional they get as far as I can see. No thanks!

Horrible. Get rid of him for a man nearer your own age, and one that treats you well.

Oh ditch him, you're so young at 36, you can do so much better than some grotty 50 year old letch.

You're enabling his behaviour just as much as social media is by accepting it and continuing the relationship 🤷‍♀️

I don't agree. I think loads of men would cheat given the chance. There is no such thing as "the type". Do you imagine they are all louche letharios sitting in wine bars waiting to pounce? Most of the men that have come on to me have been "very happily married" ordinary family guys with lovely wives.

SM and phones have handed it to every man on a plate at the push of a button. As another poster said upthread, they all now have an "instant cheat and porn device" at their disposal day and night.

Before mobile phones and SM etc they'd have to actively go out and find someone to have an affair with, then use the landline or find a phone box (or even write a letter) to arrange to meet up. All of which would be time consuming and they'd have to account for that time to their wives.

I know i am one if the weak women who has stayed and hoped id be enough. How fucking silly was i! I have lost so much time. Ugh yes i get it. Hes 51 next month and whilst i believe he will always have someone to chat up hes starting to go haggard. Hes kept his hair and a nice toned body. But hes a man child and im waking up.
Im so sick of men.

I also can relate to the person who said plenty of married men will try cheat. I usually attract drug addicts or older men. I am actually an ok looking girl as well. Im not sexy or stunning. But i have a nice complexion and tend to be told i look mid twenties. But apparently that still cant secure me a man. Not even one 15 years older.

I'm not convinced that the cheating is getting worse, its always been there; it's just that it's more obvious now.

Honestly. He is 15 years older. He should be chasing you not you chasing him. Please make yourself a favor and find someone younger who treats you better.

They do it because they can. And they would do it even if social media did not exist.

Men are just lazy. Most wouldnt make the effort to go sniffing round elsewhere unless they were really sick of their partner but now with phones you can look up all your old school friends, work friends, ex-shags etc on your phone from the comfort of your own couch, slide in the DMs and knock yourself out.

Maybe we never should have been raised to believe in finding a forever partner. Whats the point. Hand my heart i have never in 4 years gone behind his back with any bad intentions.

I'm constantly amazed by the number of 50+ year old men who are on dating sites, top less selfies and stating they are looking for "short term fun". Or "intimacy without commitment". Are they still going to be looking for that at 60? 70?

I've given up.