He is a disney dad. I am a full time parent with no support and hes giving me the ick

[Theneverendingcycle]

Just started seeing this guy - dating but slowly.
He has 2 DDs 15 and 19.
I have DS 13 and DD 6.
He has his girls one night on average a week.
I have mine all the time - no support - they don't see their dads.

He starts spouting off how magical and precious time with your kids is and how amazing they are and you are there whole world its your job to give them the best of yourself blah blah blah to which I said yeah it must feel different when you do get breathing space (not that my kids arnt magical or my world but its different when your overwhelemed and dont have any time away from them right?) and that sometimes kids are very annoying and sometimes they just act like idiots - kids for you (this sort of joking comment) to which he sent me a 6 minute voice note going on about the above.... he then also made a comment that i share too much on instagram (wtf) and maybe i should keep it to myself (wtf) - so basically questioned my parenting/slated my parenting and said i over share (i can confirm i do not) - he very clearly upset me.... then the following day chatting like nothing had happened!

Totally got the ick about it now - told him will speak to him about it this evening....

just needed to vent

I wouldn't bother speaking to him about it this evening.

Once the ick strikes, there's no shifting it.

All that a conversation about it will do is upset and annoy you both further. It's clear you're not compatible - not because of different parenting styles, but because he seems to think he has the right to tell you what to do and how to feel.

I'd just say, "I think this has run its course. Go well" and leave it at that. Plenty more fish in the sea - ideally a less judgmental fish!

Ugh. He'll just annoy you down the line. The cognitive dissonance in men like this is remarkable. I know several. They all left the family home when their kids were little, having had affairs. Their exes did all the drudge work of raising tiny children alone and they just rock up for 24 hours once a week and somehow seem to get all the credit. I'm a lone parent (different circumstances) and yes, of course kids can be irritating and exhausting. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't feel that way if I only had them for one night a week.

Sanctimonious prick, he barely does any parenting and he thinks can mansplain to you about your life.

Throw him back.

Another waster that does the bare minimum and thinks he's great.

I'd love to hear what his ex has to say.
Pompous Loser.
That's what I would be calling him to his face or a BMD (bare minimum dad)
Twat.

He won't change.. Maybe you can see why his ex isn't his current...

Don’t waste your evening.

And block him on Instagram

Ugh I’ve got the ick on your behalf, just sack him off he sounds awful.

You don’t need to discuss anything with him, he’s said enough, just say it’s not working for you and move on.

Sounds like a bit of a know it all tbh.

Parenting isn't all sunshine and rainbows and it should be easier for him his girls are older.

If he's annoying you now it'll only get worse.

I am cringing myself!
This is my daughters father all over, he has her 2-3 times a week for 5 hours at a time. I like to call him "play time dad"
While im the robot that does all the cleaning, washing, bath times bed times, appointments etc

I have no advice to give but absolutely understand how you feel!

Perhaps he realises he’s a waste of space and is hoping if he talks the talk you won’t notice ?

You have though and you can’t unsee it .

I haven't even got kids and I'm infuriated. One of his is an adult and you've still got a primary schooler even if all else were equal. Lecturing you when you shoulder everything yourself and he pops up once a week. Vapid prick can't even read a room. I wouldn't bother discussing this either. He's set and happy in his POV of himself. Just cut things off.

Ditch. A 6-minute voice note is basically him delivering a parenting seminar to you. Which you don’t need.

Ditch the moron

Get rid is my advice!

People who haven’t climbed Mount Everest can’t tell you how to climb mt Everest. So he’s attempting to change you by modifying your social media usage. This seems the very very tip of a controlling iceberg and it will escalate if he’s acting like this now in the very early stages of dating. He lacks insight into his behavior starting with…no voice mail should ever be 6 minutes long. Please end this relationship he will become critical of you and critical people cannot be supportive which is what you (and every single parent) need

Was it just the 6 minute voice note that caused this burning resentment?

Comparing his feelings of a night or two a week, with a couple of kids. to a full time Mum with no partner or breaks makes him a complete idiot.
Throw him back, don't bother talking.

WTAF? WHO the fuck does he think he is?
he's Disney Dad light (one night a week???) & a rude twat to boot.

Hes a new bloke, he hasn't even earned the right to be 'honest' with, he barely knows you!

Block him on insta, X anywhere else... send him a text, basically saying 'fuck off twat'
'unfortunately it has become obvious we're not well suited, so I'll leave it here. Best of luck for the future'

Some insight there into why he's divorced.

Dump the mansplainy know all knob.

He will start comparing his kids to yours

Was it in response to you complaining or being negative ? Perhaps it was his way of telling you.
Also he has a point about sharing things online. It’s gross when parents do this - but even worse when they are complaining or sharing personal info about their children.

Sounds like a right nut job how does he know about parenting when he only does it one night a week, he has no responsibility except probably token maintenance and one school run if even that. Cheeky arse thinking he knows what’s it’s like to have sole responsibility for his kids 24/7 I’d feel the same. Problem with this kind of person is no matter what you say they’ll still believe they know it all and you are wrong. So best finding out now I guess but rubbish if you’ve invested time getting to know him etc Best run for the hills though

In a nutshell.

“hi joe, as long as you keep the mansplaining to yourself we should be fine. Don’t tell me how I need to conduct my life and I’ll do the same with you. X”

Be ruthless, but not rude.

@beatrix1234

no, she needs to finish with him. If he's like this already he'll be fucking unbearable!!

@Theneverendingcycle

i just timed 6 minutes, it's fucking forever, I don't know how you listened to that & didn't just reply 'fuck off twat'

@Purpledrank tbh noticed a few other things. Actions not seemly matching words sort of behaviours....