My message to him in response to what he had said on his vnote on saturday below. This is my message to him unpicking the vnote
OK so Saturday thing....
You started your vnote saying you have regrets and wish you gave the girls more time etc when they were little...then you went onto saying "kids arnt an inconvenience, that little girl, your her best mate" pretty much implying I'm treating her as an inconvenience.... then you told me "when she's grabbing you and wanting your attention let her do it" implying I don't give her attention?
Me messaging saying she's being a dick knocked you...explain that? Do you not know that kids are dicks at times? If I was doing something on my phone clearly busy for 3 minutes and I started moaning and physically pulling you where I wanted to go while you were busy wouldn't that be me being a dick also?
"I see the little behaviours and stuff you have with her" explain that?
Then you reverted back to having regrets with the girls and wishing you could go back and do more with them...
I then vnoted you back saying that we have a very different parenting situation, asking what kind of regrets, what's the biggest ones.
I explained to you that your family set up is very supported compared to mine hence why it's completely different...almost having to defend my vid and my comment....
Then I explained about the differences regarding support. You have 80/90% of time for yourself. I have 0%. So when I'm taking 3 minutes to do something and DD who gets me for 365 is physically pulling me backwards - she is essentially being a dick. That is a dick move.
You replied "an honest reaction to referring to your daughter as a dick" WOW...
"In my world no child can behave like a dick" yes NAME because you live in a highly supported well rested not overwhelmed not head pecked, time for your self, situation that's probs why you think that however your wrong kids literally can be dicks sometimes.
You're big on self awareness however you voice noted me mansplaining to me regarding my kids who I've kept alive for years.... where was your self awareness when you were telling me how I should parent?
"In terms of support network I don't lean on anyone I have them with me at all times" no NAME you don't.
"Combined with the way you were talking to her in the video"
Explain this... how do you feel I talked to her in the video?
And yeah you had no context. But you still felt you needed to express this worry for what I said and the way I spoke to DD- which at this point makes me thing you haven't got to know me at all.
We got onto a dark thought I had about suicide the other week on the back of talking about support.
You say you don't want to rely on anyone for anything mentally and you rather suffer in silence....this isnt good at all. Im pretty sure you did a story on Instagram also regarding men's mental health?
You then went onto go on about my Instagram based on something you saw and mansplained why I shouldn't do that and be more private..so not only did I get slated for parenting, feeling how I feel and now I'm getting slated for my insta posts...wtf
And then you sent me this...message from him saying that he has no idea why I was going on about support when it wasn't related to his concern but he didn't want to correct me
Which just highlighted the whole fact to me that you have absolutely no idea in terms of support, time for yourself and parenting and how that is all interconnected and you "didn't want to correct me" when in fact I didn't need correcting.... you needed bringing on board to the connection with support and being a parent.
But again - what exactly was your worry?
Again self awareness and how it comes across ... where was yours in all of this?