He is a disney dad. I am a full time parent with no support and hes giving me the ick

[Theneverendingcycle]

Just started seeing this guy - dating but slowly.
He has 2 DDs 15 and 19.
I have DS 13 and DD 6.
He has his girls one night on average a week.
I have mine all the time - no support - they don't see their dads.

He starts spouting off how magical and precious time with your kids is and how amazing they are and you are there whole world its your job to give them the best of yourself blah blah blah to which I said yeah it must feel different when you do get breathing space (not that my kids arnt magical or my world but its different when your overwhelemed and dont have any time away from them right?) and that sometimes kids are very annoying and sometimes they just act like idiots - kids for you (this sort of joking comment) to which he sent me a 6 minute voice note going on about the above.... he then also made a comment that i share too much on instagram (wtf) and maybe i should keep it to myself (wtf) - so basically questioned my parenting/slated my parenting and said i over share (i can confirm i do not) - he very clearly upset me.... then the following day chatting like nothing had happened!

Totally got the ick about it now - told him will speak to him about it this evening....

just needed to vent

@Muthaofcats for context...my 13 year old son who is high risk for suicide and is also neurodivrrgent went missing for 36 hours... he was on the news so naturally everyone was asking me if they could help etc etc via social media so I did a missing post once he had been on the news and then when I found him I did a found post and basically said he was safe and wouldn't wish that horrible panic on anyone who feared the worse. I'm deffo not an oversharer in the way he implied

Thank you all for your replies.... feel so heard right now and understood....what a shit move from him...your all so right!

So you’ve known him 5 minutes and hes already mansplaining how to be parenting the year and telling you how to use your own social media.

He can fuck right off - what a sanctimonious egotistical prick

I really hope you and your son are ok after such a horrible ordeal. I have no idea how awful that must have been. I am wishing you and your son all the very best.

The man is an egotistical arse and how dare he say that?! Who the fuck does he think he is?

Ha ha! I have had this! It's his own insecurity.
I had someone telling me what a great dad and how wonderful kids are. He had never had his overnight without been at his mum and dads. I have 5 kids, been a teacher for over twenty years and a masters in child development. Tried telling me what I was doing wrong? Erm. See ya!

Understood.
You need a different one in your life, if you
want one.
😬

I'm sure parenting is a lot more magical when you're not doing the vast majority of the heavy lifting and don't carry the entire mental load.

What a twat.

OP, you don't have to talk to him anything other than, "this is not working for me"
Whatever you say, I got the felling that he is going to challenge it, just because of your description of him, so keep it brief, assertive and blunt if you have.

I initially thought 'what a prick', the 6 minute vn would have been it for me but after reading your update- run. He has displayed zero compassion or empathy there, nor any comprehension of what real life single-parenting constitutes.
"Over-sharing", is he for real?! From the guy who sends 6 MINUTE TED TALKS OF MANSPLAIN??!. I
Hope he never gets laid ever again.

Gosh I’m so sorry you went through all that. How terrifying, and doesn’t sound like an over share in those circumstances xx

Goodness what an ordeal, I'm glad DS is safe. Ok, dump him 10x. What was he thinking, lecturing you after that??

Well UPDATE
I spoke to him. I explained his manplaining. And his shitty comments.

He APOLOGISED LOL and said "ill leave you be"

Bye 👋

Feeling abit shit now. WHY ARE MEN SHIT?!

Thank you everyone who helped me and advised me. I don't always trust my gut and see the wood for trees but I'm learning and you all helped me get rid of this looser early days before it progressed...thank you all

You nailed it. Guys like that are depressingly common. It fits with him being a judgemental prick about her parenting, too.
People who actually do the grunt work of parenting get it. He never has and never will.

well, it doesn't sound like you like you kids very much, or enjoy parenting, an your kids will know that. Speaking as a full time single mum, I would never speak about my kids, or think about them, the way you have spoken about yours in your OP. Are you the same on instagram? never mind about a relationship that is not working out, sounds like you have more important issues - your relationship with your kids.

“I’ll leave you be…” Like it’s his idea. The ego on it. Well done, you!

Ha Ha... he "made the decision" before the decesion was made for him. Fair play to him.

But block his number, insta etc.. while you have the guilts or he will weedle his way back in.

I'll leave you be rhymes with: Very well rid.
Well done.

@malachitegreen I'm not even going to bother unpicking this with you. Your entitled to your opinion absolutely but you are way out.

good, I am glad I am way out, because the whole tone I picked up from your OP was that you found your children annoying and time consuming, and if that is how you feel, then that is how they know you feel

@malachitegreen kids are at times very bloody hard work and very overwhelming. As a full time single parent yourself you must recognise this? They drive me absolutely insane at times! But that's the nature of children

A six minute voice note criticising you on any subject is a one way ticket to the bin. Let alone mansplaining parenting !

@Theneverendingcycle ignore PP. Mumsnet is a space to vent if we need to, of course you are absolutely THERE for your kids when you are with them

@SheilaFentiman thank you...I know mumsnet is hit and miss there is always one right. Onwards and upwards !!!

The only point in talking him through it might be to benefit the mother who is having to deal with this sanctimonious crap. Otherwise, I'd not bother with him.