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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He is a disney dad. I am a full time parent with no support and hes giving me the ick

106 replies

Theneverendingcycle · 24/06/2024 16:05

Just started seeing this guy - dating but slowly.
He has 2 DDs 15 and 19.
I have DS 13 and DD 6.
He has his girls one night on average a week.
I have mine all the time - no support - they don't see their dads.

He starts spouting off how magical and precious time with your kids is and how amazing they are and you are there whole world its your job to give them the best of yourself blah blah blah to which I said yeah it must feel different when you do get breathing space (not that my kids arnt magical or my world but its different when your overwhelemed and dont have any time away from them right?) and that sometimes kids are very annoying and sometimes they just act like idiots - kids for you (this sort of joking comment) to which he sent me a 6 minute voice note going on about the above.... he then also made a comment that i share too much on instagram (wtf) and maybe i should keep it to myself (wtf) - so basically questioned my parenting/slated my parenting and said i over share (i can confirm i do not) - he very clearly upset me.... then the following day chatting like nothing had happened!

Totally got the ick about it now - told him will speak to him about it this evening....

just needed to vent

OP posts:
Original poster
Theneverendingcycle · 26/06/2024 11:41

Thank you all for your posts and being there guys xxx

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 26/06/2024 11:50

firstly, he told me that I used the term manplaining in the wrong context then went on to tell me what he thought what mansplaining means and that how I used the word was wrong....actually his understanding is wrong

wow, that’s… wow.

Byeeee, dude!

Fargo79 · 26/06/2024 12:02

I have no idea why you would want to get into a huge "he said/she said" drama with this man. Keep your dignity and your sanity and just block him and move on. He's a deadbeat loser. When you stoop to the level of engaging with and justifying yourself to someone like this, you validate their questioning of you and their feelings of entitlement to pass judgement on you.

SamW98 · 26/06/2024 12:12

Fargo79 · 26/06/2024 12:02

I have no idea why you would want to get into a huge "he said/she said" drama with this man. Keep your dignity and your sanity and just block him and move on. He's a deadbeat loser. When you stoop to the level of engaging with and justifying yourself to someone like this, you validate their questioning of you and their feelings of entitlement to pass judgement on you.

Totally agree. Its a waste of time and energy going back and forth with a dickhead like this.

My only response would have been 👍 then delete and consign him to history

Original poster
Theneverendingcycle · 26/06/2024 13:49

@Fargo79 you are totally right!! Thank you I'm going to remember this!

OP posts:
CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 26/06/2024 13:55

Aww I love a thread with a happy ending!

I can't get over how he mansplained mansplaining. Agree the ex's view is very different to his surely. Oh well the trash took itself out.

Itsbaloney · 26/06/2024 14:02

malachitegreen · 25/06/2024 07:28

good, I am glad I am way out, because the whole tone I picked up from your OP was that you found your children annoying and time consuming, and if that is how you feel, then that is how they know you feel

Show quote history

No she didn’t! Get off the thread then, you’re one of those petty derailers.

NonPlayerCharacter · 26/06/2024 14:03

Theneverendingcycle · 26/06/2024 08:30

Update AGAIN

Well I think he's an absolute arsehole. After messaging me like nothing had happened to which I replied "what the actual fuck" he then at midnight sent me a 9 MINUTE voicenote 9 MINUTES the contents of which I am going to list for you now... I hope your already for this fuckery.
9 min voice note breakdown

  • firstly, he told me that I used the term manplaining in the wrong context then went on to tell me what he thought what mansplaining means and that how I used the word was wrong....actually his understanding is wrong
  • he said " I have to be honest the way youve handled this the way you've gone about it you've actually spoken down to me"
  • "seems you want to have it out with me"
  • "I care about you alot"
  • " I'm sorry I do apologise"
  • "you called your daughter a dick" I DID NOT. CALL MY DAUGHTER A DICK.

- "your response to your daughter didn't feel motherly" context I said ok ok let's to snuggle back in bed you pest to my daughter that was my response and I tickled her.

- "kids don't act like dicks they act like kids" yes and sometimes kids can act like dicks just like humans

  • "you've been very rude in your messages" I haven't.

- "you've said mean things" no

  • "the way youve handled all of this has really put me off" hahahahahahahaaha

And yet still no explanation of what exactly he ment when he said he's seen some insta post that I overshare in or explained how my parenting was unmotherly....I'm going to post the messages I sent him asking him to explain...I'll edit them to remove names...

This guyyyyyy 🤣

I'm sorry, I know this is your life, but that's fucking hilarious.

frozendaisy · 26/06/2024 14:18

It's the explaining mamsplaining that is the icing on the badly baked cake!

Thanks OP comedy gold.

Annonymiss123 · 26/06/2024 14:37

I’m really sorry @Theneverendingcycle, but this has me in stitches… 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  1. firstly, he told me that I used the term manplaining in the wrong context then went on to tell me what he thought what mansplaining means and that how I used the word was wrong....actually his understanding is wrong

Let me mansplain mansplaining to you little lady…

You’re well rid! Onwards & upwards.

Original poster
Theneverendingcycle · 26/06/2024 15:40

@Annonymiss123 OH MY GOD he actually started the voicenote with morning little lady...actually he called me that alot hahahaha
@Itsbaloney thanks for having my back lovie x

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 26/06/2024 16:01

Oh I did think he'd initially taken it well ...

What a tit. Because berating you for 9 minutes does what exactly? Gets you back? Proves him right?

He's just got the arseache you've finished with him.

What an insufferable, nit picking bore.

Original poster
Theneverendingcycle · 26/06/2024 16:26

@user1471538283 really did dodge a bullet

For context everyone I've been speaking to this guy for just under 2 months and only met him once ( I was away we met then he went away hence why only once in 2 months) but we messaged daily. And already he's like that woaaaaah

Also his Instagram following list was women women women including a women crush Wednesday page

OP posts:
crockofshite · 26/06/2024 17:09

malachitegreen · 25/06/2024 04:43

well, it doesn't sound like you like you kids very much, or enjoy parenting, an your kids will know that. Speaking as a full time single mum, I would never speak about my kids, or think about them, the way you have spoken about yours in your OP. Are you the same on instagram? never mind about a relationship that is not working out, sounds like you have more important issues - your relationship with your kids.

From your post I'd say you don't like yourself very much, and you seem to dislike other people as well so I can understand why you're single.

SheilaFentiman · 26/06/2024 17:10

You met him once and he criticised your parenting???

Nob.

Original poster
Theneverendingcycle · 26/06/2024 21:05

@crockofshite thank you :)

@SheilaFentiman Haha yes! Once for a few hours! And he was 15 mins late AND he turned up semi drunk - what was i even thinking haha

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 26/06/2024 21:26

Oh my!!

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 26/06/2024 22:01

He managed to fit a lot of assholery into just one date

DWK123 · 26/06/2024 22:56

Red Flag meets Red Flag and it doesn't work out.

Who'd have thought it...

Original poster
Theneverendingcycle · 26/06/2024 23:14

@DWK123 please elaborate

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 27/06/2024 01:30

I’ve never met him or set eyes on him but the “Morning Little Lady” has given me the ick alone! Blah

Original poster
Theneverendingcycle · 27/06/2024 07:30

@Fraaahnces 100% very bizarre!

OP posts:
DWK123 · 27/06/2024 15:46

Theneverendingcycle · 26/06/2024 23:14

@DWK123 please elaborate

Well the drama seems to follow you quite a bit...

BuggeryBumFlaps · 27/06/2024 15:58

Haha I just proper laughed that he mansplained mansplaining to you

Original poster
Theneverendingcycle · 28/06/2024 07:11

@DWK123 tell me about it!! I keep making the mistake of choosing the wrong blokes however I'm getting so much better at seeing the red flags now HOWEVER dating in this day and age is a minefield of the above behaviours that need to be vented about which is mumsnets primary use for me and for advice and because I vent and ask for advice doesn't mean drama follows me about (however it does bloody seem like it) just means I'm bringing my worst bits here.

OP posts: