We have had a really difficult year. Once again I feel like I am being gaslighted and manipulated and made to feel like a crazy person. I feel like we are at the end. He has spoken to his friends about this and feel that ‘ I have overreacted!’ . DH has been out of work for a year now. We are financially ok luckily because he had a big pay out and we are ok for a bit. I work 3 days a week as a doctor, work as a clinical lead and we’ve had major changes at work recently which I am leading on. I have also been studying and doing a course on one of my days off and Mondays I usually spend with my 3 year old DS - take him swimming etc.
He has been doing drop offs for school for both DS , 3 and 5, about half of the time and only recently most of the due to my hectic schedule. We have a nanny Tuesday - Friday who does after school, who picks up the little one and has been quite good at preparing food recently.
I cook most dinners.
so , on the Thursday , I had physiotherapy appnt early morning bc I had painful knees, rushed to work , worked non stop til 2ish , left work and then rushed home to get the shopping in from Ocado, I took it all in and put all fridge items away, I wanted to make some eggs quickly bc I was starving and then had a laser appnt at 3, so really tight for time. Maybe in hindsight I shouldn’t have had lunch. I usually feel faint if I don’t eat on time.
Meanwhile he had dropped kids that morning , gone to meet a friend for lunch in Covent Garden and then gone shopping and bought some sunglasses. He walked through the door about 9 mins after me and I asked him if he would drop me to the station because I was running late ( he puts his hands on his hips and looks at the ceiling and sighs ) . I then say’ please please please’ to which he says ok.
Next thing he says is ‘ could you not have put the shopping away for once !!’ I then said , but I have put loads away , I think half , I’ve put all the fridge stuff away’ . He goes into the hallway to pick up bags and says to me ‘ no you didn’t !’ ‘I’m always putting the shopping away!!!’
He looks so pissed off , so I said ‘ forget it don’t drop me to the station !’ To which he says - stop being ridiculous .
I got in the car to drive us, whilst in the car I said ‘ what shall I do , should I change the delivery time to another day where you never have to see it ?! ‘ I said ‘ why don’t you do the shop and then you can decide when it comes?! ‘ Anyway he got so angry that he started to repeatedly bang on the dashboard as if he wanted to break it and it looked like his face was going to explode. I got out of the car and I ran to the bus.
I got home that evening , he stayed in the loft and then got Deliveroo and ignored me. Next day same silent treatment. When I asked him if he was ignoring me he said ‘ when you apologise to me ?!’
Next day he only said he was sorry for his reaction in the car BUT he should be able to voice his frustrations without me turning it into a massive argument!
What is your view? Apparently he has spoken to his friends and I am in the wrong?! I feel like I’m going crazy 😭