I’m being kind here, you need to know this to break the cycle:
the longer you avoid making a decision by believing that you have no idea how to break the cycle, the longer it will continue.
The longer you abdicate responsibility for your half of the cycle to your belief that you literally can’t do anything about it, I can guarantee you a permanent seat on this thread.
It is very hard to say “no” politely, to excuse yourself from meeting up with someone or fully engaging when you bump into someone, when you are obsessed with them in some way.
However, it is not impossible to do, you do actually know how to do this. If this was a person you bumped into that you were neutral about or didn’t actually like, you would have strategies to avoid or excuse yourself from the situation. If when you bump into someone you are internally thinking “Oh God! Not them again!” (as we all do with certain people we’re not keen on but don’t want to hurt people’s feelings) then you know exactly what to say and do to get out of the situation.
This man isn’t a super human who can control your mind, he’s not got any magical powers over you, he’s got no control over you whatsoever unless you allow him to have that control.
To say “the cycle begins again” makes it sound like the cycle itself is an uncontrollable situation which sucks you in against your will. It isn’t, it can’t continue unless you let it continue. It can’t continue unless he participates in it with you also and equally allowing him to.
Until you realise that the cycle can only continue if he isn’t going to change his behaviour and you don’t change yours, then it will indeed go on.
But you are in denial if you think that you don’t know how to change this, you are an adult with choices and of course you do.
At some level at the moment you don’t want to change your behaviour, therefore it’s easier to decide there’s no way of changing it and you have no control over it, in order to allow yourself to continue doing it and abdicate your responsibility for the situation.
It is hard to stop doing things we like doing, even if we know that what we are doing is bad for us or a morally wrong thing to do. (I don’t know your situation obviously) Very hard to do indeed. But we do have choices.
You could break this cycle if you wanted to. You could choose to politely shut down the interaction when you bump into him, just as you would politely shut down interaction with somebody you bump into that you know but don’t like. What you need to admit to yourself is that you are choosing to interact when you bump into him (you could choose not to) and you are choosing to continue the cycle.
The cycle doesn’t control you, you control the cycle.
I mean this kindly, I know how hard this is, but if we constantly avoid the tough stuff in life by deciding we are powerless in a situation, or that we are helpless (“I have no idea how to break the cycle”) then we expose ourselves to all sorts of control from outside sources and people who don’t deserve to have that kind of power over us. We feel powerless and trapped and unhappy and usually feel bad about ourselves.
The path to good self-esteem and integrity and confidence is strewn with tough adult decisions. Choosing what we know deep down is best for ourselves even if it’s hard to give up. Life does have limitations but our choices in the face of them remain our own responsibility, nobody else’s.
When you bump into him at the weekend, choose a polite ‘hi’ and then say sorry you can’t stop and chat, you are really busy and have an appointment or some other excuse and choose to get out of there, just as you would if he was somebody you didn’t like.
That’s how the cycle breaks, you take responsibility for your own behaviour (you can’t control his, he needs to take responsibility for that) and make the right choice. Easy to say, incredibly hard to do, like any bad habit, but it really is that simple and you do already know how to do it.
You’re here on this thread about not contacting a guy, so the next bit should be a moot point but I don’t think it is: The burning question you have to ask yourself about breaking the cycle, and answer with brutal honesty, is “Do I really want to?”