Anyone else trying not not to contact a guy part 2??

[YouAreAllMySymmetry]

Hey loves @namechangeforthis5 @Frith2013 and whoever else I can think of.

How we all doing?

I'm having a weird night; I've been drinking and guess what skill it reminded me I've developed: crying out of one eye. It means that people generally don't notice, in the car, or lying on the couch or in bed.

That's sad, isn't it.

Well said again. Toddler man Terry did make me smile 🤣. What you have said since you started posting has really contributed to my determination to stay away from mine. He was very persistent and the beginning but I always knew it was wrong and I lost myself. I always had an inkling it was not the full picture and I’ve never done anything besides phone sex and I am well aware that’s bad enough. He said we hadn’t done anything wrong and we really had.

Guys, I'm just fucked. I need a day where I don't think about him. I think the problem is not the crush or whatever, it's that I was - am I guess - genuinely in love with him. Fucking inconvenience of it all.

Oh and by the way it's the OP under her 82752th name change since this shitshow began.

Thought so. I know it isn’t funny at all but I love the way you describe it. Honestly this will pass OP I swear to you xx

I don't think it will. Over 2 years now. Haven't seen or spoken to him in a couple of months. No change.

😆😆😆

Always happy to entertain!

Very well said @Thewookiemustgo

@WouldUSayImWorthy hope that didn’t sound bad! I just love the way you word it. So I was texting and calling mine for almost five years. We never saw each other after he left the company 3 months after we started this. That’s how long it took for me to be in a place where I could be like this

@Thewookiemustgo i just wanted to say again how much I’ve appreciated your input on here. It can’t be easy reading some of the crap I’ve come out with but honestly you’ve helped save me from doing something really stupid so thank you

Not at all! We get each other 😁

😊😊😊

@lovelymango you’re welcome, you lot on here are so lovely X

@Thewookiemustgo aww thank you. You don’t know what that means to me after what I’ve done 😌

@lovelymango everyone deserves a second chance. I can hear how sorry you are and you want to do better.
That’s real character, shitty people consistently really don’t care what they do or who they hurt. Decent people might screw up and hurt people but it never means they consistently really don’t care. Their moral compass always steers them back.
We all screw up to a greater or lesser degree but if that immediately writes us off as dud humans then what’s the point of existence? If we don’t learn from all that we get right or wrong then what’s the point of striving to be a better person, of trying to grow? Life is an up and down work in progress and not a steady upward line on a graph. If only it was!
My husband was a total shit who pretty much broke me at one point in his life. He fucked up a year of our lives out of 29 years together back then, we’ve been together for forty years now.
My finding out what he did pretty much broke him too, but boo fucking hoo, he needed to sort himself out bigtime. I felt sorry for him in that I would never want what he did on my conscience, I would never do that to him, and I had more than enough to deal with at the time. The consequences were all his responsibility, not mine. He could suck it up, buttercup. His circus, his bloody monkeys as far as I was concerned.
His genuine remorse and turnaround was what made me stay and give him a chance. He took it.
If he’d not given a shit or not tried to do better then that would have been it.
This thread seems to me to be about people supporting each other to do better, to be free of the crap that is holding them back for one reason or another.
I don’t care what those reasons are, or what people did, to own your own shit and want to put it right is what being a decent adult human is all about.
The world would change dramatically if everyone took responsibility for themselves and kindly supported others to do the same. Nobody will ever convince me otherwise.

It can take ages! That's not unusual!

Almost at blocking on Insta stage, really stewing on it. A hard door of my life to slam shut.

I eventually unfriended my FWB on FB. He never posted anything so l couldn't see what he was up to anyway, but he could see what I'd posted.

The only reason l was really hesitant about unfriending was because l could see when he was online.... which would actually annoy and cause me more upset as he had time to be on there but not message me.

I finally did it, and l admit l have had a couple of occasions when l wish l hadn't as l wanted to see if he was online...but then l think what was l gaining from knowing that..... nothing.... as he still didn't bother to message anyway!

Couple of months down the line, l feel so much better not having that connection as l don't obsess over it now so my headspace in that area has improved immensely

I've come off Insta to test breaking the connection - it's the only place we're ever in contact now but even that he's managed to be a prick about.

Well done.

Don't put any pressure on yourself about staying off it. Just try and "go with the flow" and take each day as it comes.

You may have a lapse and go back on to check him out... or you may not. But just accept that for what it is... ie being nosey.... and then come off again. No need to beat yourself up if you do have a sneaky peek

Well done
@Thewookiemustgo thank you for your lovely reply. I’m staying strong. I’m thinking of deleting his number but I might as well leave it

@lovelymango don’t concentrate on whether to do that or not, delete or don’t delete, it honestly doesn’t matter unless there a reason not to delete it that you’re not admitting to yourself.
All that matters is the grey rock detachment. A phone number is just a series of random numbers until you call or text it.
It’s never about the number, it’s about what we do with it and why we want to keep it or dump it. It has no power over you whatsoever. You’re your own person.
Glad you’re feeling strong! X

This is v helpful @Thewookiemustgo as I've discovered I can't actually log out of my personal Insta as it's also attached to my business accounts. Never mind, grey rock it is.

You’re right. I just have it in my head to do it to make amends but I know that’s silly.

Why?

Why leave it? Because I’m paying it attention then.