Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How did we end up HERE?? Major differences in relationship.

93 replies

cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 17:42

This is going to be long and potentially just a huge ramble. If you're up for a rollercoaster then feel free to read. I'd appreciate it if you'd take the time.
I've name changed as this is somewhat outing as I'm almost certain nobody else will be facing these very specific petty issues.
I've been with my partner getting on for 8 years. We've had our differences which have been apparent but mostly able to resolve them or ignore them.
Our biggest differences are that of our ideas surrounding religion, ethics and politics.
Recently I got a tattoo - I'm English, and this tattoo is in a different language. It means a lot to me and is something I've wanted for a long time for a couple different reasons.
This sparked an uproar in the household for reasons unknown (make your own conclusion as I have mine!!)
Since then, I've been met with petty remarks from my partner as to why I've gotten this tattoo. How I'm a try - hard, a "beg", embarrassing, etc etc.
Now this may seem like a leap here, (in regard to what has happened next) but I am serious.
During a political discussion my partner has proclaimed that he will be voting reform UK in this year's general election. And what has pushed him to this decision is the fact that I got this tattoo. (Baffling I know)
This party completely oppose all of my morals and beliefs and I cannot stand them. Even worse than the actual party, the supporters themselves.
This took me aback a bit, but oh no. He was not finished.
He has shown me emails, that he has signed up to be an official supporter of the party and has registered to have flyers, posters and placards delivered to the house to display for reform.
He has told me he will come with me on the school run to hand out flyers for them, and that he will be putting posters in the windows of the house.
He has purchased pin badges and a blue tie for himself to dress up in a suit and hand out these bloody flyers!!!
For context, I know for a fact that a large percentage of the school will NOT appreciate this and that it will seem like some sort of stupid political statement due to the area we live in.
I feel like he will be parading behind me doing this as some sort of public humiliation tactic because I have essentially done something he does not like or agree with. And this is what I get because of it!!?
It's absolutely insane to me that he would go to this length. He finds it funny, and isn't even that politically Intelligent!
This is NOT normal behaviour, and I know this !
I don't know what I'm gaining through posting this here. But I just need to vent. I cannot really speak to my family members about this as it is too bloody embarrassing to admit!!
I really appreciate it if you've made it through this ridiculous post. I can imagine you're all just as baffled as I am about it all.
Maybe just some words of encouragement? Or a little group of you to help me take the absolute mickey out of what is actually quite worrying ?? 😵‍💫

OP posts:
cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 17:47

I forgot to mention, the original stance was "I won't vote as I can't be bothered, my vote won't make a difference anyway"
And my response was "that's ridiculous, if everybody thought that way, things would never change!"

I am now regretting saying this as I am certain no vote from him would have been WAY better than this.

OP posts:
Weedkillerworks · 17/06/2024 17:59

The hills are that way >>>>>

cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 18:03

Weedkillerworks · 17/06/2024 17:59

The hills are that way >>>>>

Should I start running now?? How long will it take to get there ? 😆

OP posts:
TattieBap · 17/06/2024 18:03

Who owns the house?

LizzieBennett73 · 17/06/2024 18:06

I will admit that I'd really struggle if DH came home with a tattoo. Is that at the root of all of this?

Crikeyalmighty · 17/06/2024 18:07

Sorry - I'm pretty much a centreist and would dump someone for being gullible enough to be taken in by Farage and his band of racist pensioners and utter weirdos.

TruthorDie · 17/06/2024 18:08

Time to get rid. The school bit is especially cringey

cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 18:09

TattieBap · 17/06/2024 18:03

Who owns the house?

Rented

OP posts:
cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 18:09

LizzieBennett73 · 17/06/2024 18:06

I will admit that I'd really struggle if DH came home with a tattoo. Is that at the root of all of this?

No he has multiple and this was my 3rd

OP posts:
PerfectTravelTote · 17/06/2024 18:10

"I cannot really speak to my family members about this as it is too bloody embarrassing to admit!!"

Embarrassing for him, not you. Tell all your family. You'll need the support.

AccountCreateUsername · 17/06/2024 18:10

He’s saying and doing all this to goad and taunt you. Especially the bollocks about handing out flyers to other parents. It is difficult when political differences because differences in values and personal morals.

Is your partner usually very difficult or controlling? Why is he being so difficult with you?

AccountCreateUsername · 17/06/2024 18:12

PerfectTravelTote · 17/06/2024 18:10

"I cannot really speak to my family members about this as it is too bloody embarrassing to admit!!"

Embarrassing for him, not you. Tell all your family. You'll need the support.

He’s relying on the fact you won’t shame him. Please roll your family. It’s up to him what he thinks or who he votes for but he’s weaponising this to upset, worry and undermine you Flowers

MargotEmin · 17/06/2024 18:17

He doesn't like or respect you and he's treating you with contempt.. fuck him, what a pig!

Opentooffers · 17/06/2024 18:18

Is this a threat or do you know he's going to go through with all this? Can you say where your tattoo is? Is he faced with seeing it most of the time or does clothing cover it up?
He's just picked a party he knows you hate and is taunting you. It's an extreme reaction and quite controlling - your body, your choice. Is he controlling in other ways? I'm doubting this is an isolated case of him spitting the dummy.

DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 17/06/2024 18:19

He sounds both horrible and stupid. Why are you with him exactly?

AltitudeCheck · 17/06/2024 18:19

I'm confused, he's angry that your tattoo isn't in English? Is he racist or just a dick? Does he need subtitles?

I'd be very tempted to get 'my husband is a narrow minded prick' tattooed in another language!

cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 18:21

AccountCreateUsername · 17/06/2024 18:10

He’s saying and doing all this to goad and taunt you. Especially the bollocks about handing out flyers to other parents. It is difficult when political differences because differences in values and personal morals.

Is your partner usually very difficult or controlling? Why is he being so difficult with you?

He is difficult but I wouldn’t say controlling, though he will make it clear when he doesn’t like something!

OP posts:
cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 18:21

AltitudeCheck · 17/06/2024 18:19

I'm confused, he's angry that your tattoo isn't in English? Is he racist or just a dick? Does he need subtitles?

I'd be very tempted to get 'my husband is a narrow minded prick' tattooed in another language!

Strangely that is a part of the reason he doesn’t like it.. honestly.

OP posts:
cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 18:23

Opentooffers · 17/06/2024 18:18

Is this a threat or do you know he's going to go through with all this? Can you say where your tattoo is? Is he faced with seeing it most of the time or does clothing cover it up?
He's just picked a party he knows you hate and is taunting you. It's an extreme reaction and quite controlling - your body, your choice. Is he controlling in other ways? I'm doubting this is an isolated case of him spitting the dummy.

It is on my wrist - it’s pretty small, it really shouldn’t be this much of a bother!
as for is it a threat , I’d assume so if he hadn’t shown me the emails signing up to receive the leaflets etc. so I do believe he will do this. Whether on the school run or just around the neighbourhood I don’t know.

OP posts:
Campestris · 17/06/2024 18:24

Hi OP. I think you have to ask yourself whether you want to be in a relationship with someone that's racist? That's all this really boils down to really.

cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 18:25

Campestris · 17/06/2024 18:24

Hi OP. I think you have to ask yourself whether you want to be in a relationship with someone that's racist? That's all this really boils down to really.

It does boil down to that doesn't it. It's difficult to admit.

OP posts:
cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 18:26

PerfectTravelTote · 17/06/2024 18:10

"I cannot really speak to my family members about this as it is too bloody embarrassing to admit!!"

Embarrassing for him, not you. Tell all your family. You'll need the support.

At least I can have a laugh with them about it I suppose! That's my coping mechanism!!

OP posts:
LuluBlakey1 · 17/06/2024 18:26

I don't understand about the tattoo- does it say something in Arabic? Is it Islamic? Is that his issue with it?

Opentooffers · 17/06/2024 18:28

Has he explained why he wants to support the party? Is there any logic apart from being potentially racist. Does he know what's in their manifesto?

cookiescreamiwanttoscream · 17/06/2024 18:46

LuluBlakey1 · 17/06/2024 18:26

I don't understand about the tattoo- does it say something in Arabic? Is it Islamic? Is that his issue with it?

Thank you for reading into what I didn't want to openly admit. The answer is yes.

OP posts: