He filmed me without consent

[Etoile1]

Hi,New to posting on netmums but often look at threads about relationships etc.
Really hoping for some support.

I have been married for 10 years, together longer and 4 kids.It has been quite a difficult relationship for me as my spouse is very emotionally unavailable.I often feel lonely and unsupported.

A few weeks ago we were having sex and I felt that something wasn't right, he was filming me from behind without my consent.

I felt completely violated and in the moment I was very angry and said how can I trust you now.

After a few hours he appeared and said he was sorry but he had no explanation for why he did this.He also cried which he will often do if I bring up any conflict, it feels a bit manipulative.

After a week I addressed it again and calmly said that.... he knows I have body insecurities and I am being very vulnerable in these situations.He knows I would never agree to this and it also shows no respect towards me or my feelings.He just agreed and said he already said he was wrong, but he was kind of smirking as if he thinks it is amusing in some way.

It has really messed with my head, have been getting anxiety and nausea etc.I do not want him to touch me now and I feel insecure and betrayed by his behaviour and lack of remorse.He makes me feel like I am over reacting.

Yes I am,I am feeling anxious but like I know my gut feeling is right x

@Etoile1 if you need any support please come back to us. I’m sure I speak for the majority when I say we’ve got your back on this xx

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm not sure what you did about this if you're still with him (I hope not) but if so I would get one of those hidden cameras and place it in the bedroom play him at his own disgusting game and film him filming you and make sure you say on camera "I asked you not to do this last time" and get his response as proof. If police question you about filming just say you didn't know it was on but "LUCKY" it was. Even if you don't go to the police I'd tell the snivelling little creep that you have the recording hidden somewhere and if you find anything of yourself posted online you'll be posting him violating you like a massive creep that way if you do happen to find anything you also have leverage to get him to delete it all. I'd also tell him you hated every minute of the sex but it was worth it just to send his sorry ass to jail, call his bluff even just for the satisfaction because atthe VERY LEAST he deserves to be worried about his actions.

Hi all....an update.I seperated from him and divorce papers are with the courts.It has been a tough 6 months but this thread gave me the confidence to do what was right for me.I am finally getting my life together and my self worth and self esteem is growing daily.He had no respect for me or my body so I had to look after myself and children.100% the right decision.xx

amazing OP - wishing you much happiness ahead

Good! That's great news OP. You deserve better, and he should learn that his bullshit comes at a cost.

Wow ! Well done !!!

How did he ' cope ' as once before you got tears / begging / pleading / guilt tripping etc.

what an idiot ( and that's being polite ! ) he is, 10 years and 4 children.

I hope 2025 is a much much happier one for you.

thank you so much for remembering this thread.

He didn't take it well but I stood my ground,it was really hard.
He has moved out now and I think it's the divorce papers that finally made him realise it's over.I still can't believe its happened but at least the worst is over.I feel so much lighter.Thanks again everyone xx

Bless you. I hope you have a great life without him. You deserve to have a good life.

You are amazing and so brave. Well done for leaving him. You are a great role model for your children.

Well done OP. You are an amazing, strong, awesome woman 💪

Well done Etoile, shining brighter every day. And your children will thank you.

Oh well done OP, happy Christmas to you!!!

I will definetely be celebrating 2025 with a glass of fizz at new year.New beginnings ❤️ thanks for all the supportive comments x

Well done OP!
💐 🍹

Well done 👍 I hope 2025 is a fantastic year for you.

I didn’t see your thread back in the summer but I’m so glad to read your update. Well done, he’s an abusive piece of shit and you’re well rid of him. Hope you have a lovely Christmas with your kids and family.

Well done, op.
All best wishes for the future for you xx

Well done. Your future will be so much better without this abusive man in it. Very best wishes for 2025.