Did she say no? Or just answer my question logically?

[Jules981120]

I posted on here before but here's a quick summary / update.

I asked out the receptionist that I've made small talk with a few times. I found out she's a year younger than me, and I don't think she's in a relationship however she does have a ring on her finger and she did mention an ex. But she never explicitly said whether she was in a relationship or not when I mentioned the "wedding ring" on her finger.

I refered to it as a wedding ring to try and see if she was married or in a relationship or not but she just answered my question about the ring and her tattoos and never specified as to her relationship status.

Basically I asked her to lunch but I forgot that when I first walked into the building earlier in the day, she was already eating lunch. And she told me to come back an hour later when my patient would be ready to be seen.

I asked her to lunch and she said "I actually just had lunch, thank you though."

I then was like "oh okay" and I ended the conversation about next week and who would be coming into the building to see the patient I've been coming to see. And like literally within 60 seconds I was out the door after she said she already ate lunch

My question is, although I feel like this is her way of saying "Fuck no, id rather kill myself then go get lunch with you", I'm not sure if she wanted me to push and ask for her number or mention another date and time. Because she never mentioned another date nor time. But she's also at work and I'm not sure if she's just worried about getting in trouble or something with her boss if her boss finds out she agreed to go on a date with me.

I feel like it was just her way of saying "No thank you". I don't think I'll see her next week, which I told her, due to my schedule, but the following weeks I should be able to stop in and see her every once in awhile.

Would it be weird if the next time I see her, I give her a note tht says something along the lines of "Hey I wanted to ask you out, but didn't wanna get you in trouble with work or anything, so heres my number. Either way it's cool". She also mentioned how she gets off at 5:00pm, so if I happen to be in the area, I could just stop by and give her a note myself even if I don't have a patient in the building that day.

I was even thinking if what if next time I see her I "can't find my phone" and I asked her to call me so my phone can ring in my bag. And now I have her number. 😂💀

I know I'm being a smart-ass with that last one but is a note a bad idea?

I don't know if she was just caught off guard or anything since my generation, it's all through dating apps usually, but I don't know it is what it is I guess if anyone has any advice please let me know

Thank you guys

Thoughts?

Polite good mornings and goodbyes are all you need from now on if you don’t want her to dread seeing you.

I suspect that ship has sailed.

She said no.
So don’t ask her again.

She’s aware you’re up for going for lunch with her and so she will tell you if she wants to another time.

She will be aware that you like her but she is probably worried about coming across as too harsh, especially if you work together.

Keep being friendly but be aware that she’s either in a relationship or just not into you.

If you’re looking to date then perhaps try online dating.

about what

@Jules981120 No just about teaching you how to not be weird around women.

I'm not sure online dying is the right call yet.
Some hard self reflective work is the next step. Sorry to be so blunt OP but trust me as one who knows, this is an area you have some hard miles to travel.

That's OK, you may get there and if you do you will be a better man than you are now. You may also be a single man. That's Ok too.

@Jules981120 The Game is the most misoginistic pick-up crap you will ever read and only incel creeps ever refer to it.

THIS is why we don't need men on Mumsnet.