How often do you have sex?

[tonbridge]

9 year relationship, married for 3, 1 child aged 1.

How often would you say is a 'normal' amount of sex in these circumstances?

Hard to say. Different people want different things. Different sex drives, and it depends a lot on how much sleep you both get with a young baby. Personally I think twice a week is reasonable ...

Totally depends on your individual relationship, how much sex you had pre-kids, sex drives etc. I don’t think there is a “normal”. One of my friends says they have sex once a month and that’s their normal, another of my friends is 4/5 times a week which is their “normal”, DH & I it’s probably more like 2-3 times a week at the moment (we have an 8 week old baby so difficult) and I’d say that’s our new “normal”. You can’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s! X

There is no normal. Sometimes 3 x a week, sometimes we can go a month or so with nothing (even longer when the kids were small). It just depends on what else is going on in life at the time.

There's no such thing as 'normal' when it comes to sex in a relationship as every couple is different. My DP and I both have a high sex drive so it's unusual to go a day without.

Once a month. Sometimes less.

Between 4 and 6 times a month at the moment, but it was a lot less in the baby/toddler years.

I'd be happy with less and my DH would be happy with more, so we meet in the middle.

There really is no 'normal' - open, honest communication is key though.

It's about once every 3 weeks at the moment, sometimes less, but we have a toddler and a 7yo and DH works shifts so isn't always around in the evenings. And we are both absolutely shattered. It's better than it was in the baby years. Took me ages to recover from birth injury and bf destroyed my libido to

The bigger qn is who doesn't think it's enough and why doesn't the other one want it more.

Sex drive a lot lower now in my 30s (fairly typical for men), so 1 - 3 times a year I think.

As others have said it depends. Sometimes every day for weeks/months at a time, sometimes only a handful of times a month depending what else is happening. For example when I was caring for an elderly parent I was barely home so when I was I just needed to sleep and my husband understood that. When he was unwell himself we went a couple of months without as he was recovering from surgery and I understood. I think in a healthy marriage you make the time for each other while also respecting each others need for rest. We've been together 16 years and married for 11 of those years. We have children too so remember the baby years well.

It's not necessarily how long you've been together but the fact you've got a small baby.

About once every 3 months here! How anyone has the time/energy to do it with young children is a mystery to me!

It depends on what is going on in our life/family.

Sometimes it's 3 or 4 times a week sometimes its weeks and none.

We have multiple kids from adult down to baby still at home. But we have lots of non sexual physical contact every day.

We also go away for at least a night a couple of times a year just us with the intention of getting dressed up having dinner/drinks and plenty of sex without having to worry if all the kids are asleep, getting up early and how shattered we are.

It works because we talk about our sex life regularly and both know we don't have it as often as we would like because of circumstances not lack of desire.

So I don't think it's about anyone else's normal it's about trying to get on the same page about what works for you both.

Variable.
sometimes like 2-3 times in one week
sometimes once a month!
Depends on so much!

2-3 times a week with one kid I guess ... Now that I have my second. Once a week 😭

There is no normal. After my 2nd was born we did not have sex for a good 2 years because I was clinically depressed and stressed and our relationship was not good.

Now- we are 51 and 70 respectively. Usually about 4 times a year generally, but we have actually had sex the past 3 nights in a row because I am suddenly very interested in it. DH is surprised to say the least but definitely game!

God. How do people have sex multiple times a week?? I literally cannot be bothered.

Twice a week. Sometimes more. 25 years together.

Once a week but wish it was more.

I would like more sex. Daily would be my preference. My husband suffers badly with ED, to the point where Viagra doesn't work.

I'm 33 and devastated at the state of my life.

He's a good man, amazing father and I have no idea if we'll ever have sex again.

How?? Is he really fit and attractive?

Sometimes it's about loving your partner, not how 'fit' they are.

Why wouldn’t he be? I’ve been with my DH 25 years and he’s still handsome and the same weight.

3 or 4 times a week. Always been pretty much the same amount! Except in the beginning when it was 3 or 4 times an hour!

We like sex and we're good at it so why not?!

We've been together 21 years, married 18 and have a 12 year old!

Hah! I like that- you are good at it.

DH always says 'We really need more practice...'