How often do you have sex?

[tonbridge]

9 year relationship, married for 3, 1 child aged 1.

How often would you say is a 'normal' amount of sex in these circumstances?

Crikey.

Honestly this has been asked so many times
before - do a search and work out the average and let us know!
But as you ask - married 17 yrs, 2 kids - probably 3 or 4 times a week.

@ManonDe I think that's true to be honest, sometimes you get out of the habit and you do need to practice to get back into it!

I found Mating in Captivity a great book to think about desire/love/sensuality and intimacy.

Spontaneous desire is hard when you have a busy life, kids and a million demands.

But it feels good, reminds me how much I do fancy my dh, and it gives me a confidence boost knowing he still wants me. Its also completely free,,takes much less planning than a date out of the house🤣. I find we get very snappy with each other over small things if we have gone a while without it. Afterwards I will be like, oh I quite like you again.

Personally I have absolutely no intention of allowing my own sexual side fade away because we have kids and busy lifes. It matters to me.

Is that true? Sex drive drops for men in their 30s.... never heard of that before.
DH is 56 and we have sex a few times a week. Been together nearly 10 years.

Together 11, 10 and 7 year old.
1-2 times a week. Mostly once.
I can't be arsed.

Once over the weekend, occasionally once in the week. More on holiday.

Kids grown up so not an issue.

I'm taking medication which affects my libido but since changing it things have improved.

We,re both in our mid 50's and have been together nearly 10 years.

I don't often fancy it but once we get going I realise how great it is.

Same mate, glad I'm single! 😂

I read Mind The Gap where Karen Gurney quoted the natsal research. I was very surprised that the average reported was 3 times in every 4 weeks!

https://www.natsal.ac.uk/natsal/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Natsal-3-infographics.pdf

Most nights. It would be unusual for us to go two nights on the trot without. We once went a week without when we were very ill and went about a month without penetration and orgasms for me due to pregnancy bleeding, thankfully dp had the willpower for both of us then but it helped that i could still give him oral. Some days it's more than once. We both have high sex drives and get through alot of lube.

Edit to add- 29 weeks pregnant and we have a toddler.

Hate these types of threads with a passion. There is no normal, there is just what works for you.
You'll get people that answer and tell you they're shagging daily, sometimes more than once a day-likely to make you, and most others, feel like shit so not helpful.
If you're both happy with how often you have sex then great, if not discuss and address what you both could do to improve it.
Asking randomers won't help, also bare in mind that what people post isn't necessarily the truth, or even close to it.

Also, this proper made me laugh 🤣

About once a week. Married for 47 years.

Been married 36 years and are in mid 60's . 2 / 3 times during the working week but 3/4 times over a weekend. When the kids were young. It was less often, but it was liberating when they all left home and spontaneity over when and where was back on the table. Everybody is different so what's right for you is right no matter how different to anyone else

We rarely go a day so I'd say 5/6x a week if not more. We did this morning and it's Saturday night and we've had wine so no doubt be happening again later. This wasn't always the case; I'm peri menopausal. Once read it described on here as the last horrah! but enjoying every minute

I think a normal amount of sex is exactly the amount you want. You shouldn't feel pressured to engage in sexual activity EVER. So many factors can impact your sec drive.

We have a 5 and 4 year old and mange it 1 a week. We have been together 15 years.

About once a month. Currently pregnant and have a toddler. Been together 5 years.

Honestly...
Not very often maybe three times a month

Together 10 years
2 dc...
Kids often jump in our bed during night though

Couples me 37 dp 49, normally 4-5 times a week.

Also need to add
Have a 9 year old and 24 weeks pregnant too.

Once a week. Two young children though. Hopefully going up to twice a week soon but it is slightly improving.

That's very sad. Has he tried Tadalafil (Cialis)?

When I was married it,was dire o once a fortnight to virtually nothing. Partner of 8 years at least 5 times a week.

As others have said being on the same page is key.

Just depends on your individual relationship. We co sleep with our 11 month old overnight so we only manage daytime or evening when she's napping/sleeping which probably limits it a bit, we manage once a week at best, but for the first 9 months of so of her life we barely had sex. I felt very touched out with BF and my sex drive disappeared. Still BF now but once my periods came back my sex drive came back a bit. Pre pregnancy it was probably three or four times a week.

We are mid forties no kids. Together 13 years. We average once a week ish. More on leave. This is less than when we met but i think it suits us well currently. But this depends on my cycle, work shifts and now the lovely hormone changes i’m now getting.

1-2 times a week.

I find it we have sex more it isn't as good, higher frequency becomes kinda formulaic - and if we have it less than that we both miss it, which also isn't as good. So that's a happy medium for us. Luckily me and DH have similar sex drives