Should we remarry if no baby?

[Looloolo]

I’m with a new guy and he’s wonderful.

He has four kids and is skint.

I have three kids and I’m well off.

I don’t worry about my money with him. He’s taken the debt from both exes (never married) even though they cheated on him and pays his child maintenance voluntarily for 10+years.

He never wanted to get married or have kids, didn’t really want to settle down at all.

Then he suddenly changed his mind. I loved the idea of marriage and was on the fence re a baby but my kids wanted a baby so I was thinking maybe.

Then he retracted the baby which I was slightly offended by but agreed.

He is still hot on getting married though but I’m recoiling a bit from no baby and I’m thinking no marriage either.

Not to punish him but honestly thinking what’s the point.

All it will literally mean is that if we ever spilt he’ll get half of mine, even though I know he wouldn’t I would get zero sympathy if it did.

I wouldn’t even change my name because of my kids having a different one then.

So….. am I just cutting my nose off to spite my face over a baby that I wasn’t that bothered about anyway?

Will a marriage tie our families together somehow?

I know not much to go on but I do believe we’ll be together forever.

You have 7 kids between you and you were considering another baby? When he was skint? Because your kids wanted a baby. I would run for the hills.

what PP has put and then some: you don’t seem to be stupid, I see a glimmer of doubt in your OP. Trust your gut, yes he is getting a fantastic deal. 7 kids between you and he is broke. Why should you have to pay for his keep? Run for the hills and don’t look back. You can do so much better than being with that man. Put your kids first woman!!

Your children should be getting your inheritance should anything happen to you, not some bloke they barely know.

i'd be very worried... he has 4 kids and he says he never really wanted them, but fair play he contributes financially.. does he see said 4 children or does he just hand over cash every month?

he says he will marry you and wants a baby with you, i wonder if having a baby was a carot to get you to marry him? if he's married then his financial contribution too his ex will reduce because you have 3 children and potentially another on the way.

also, you want a baby because your children want one?? there is so much messed up here! you should want a baby because you both want a baby, not to make your children happy? are they going pay for it, look after it etc.

No, unless you want to end up with him taking you for half of everything in a divorce. Afaik he'd also be entitled to half your pension.
There is no advantage to you, but plenty to him. Think carefully and don't get carried away with the romance of a wedding

Is there a single thing that YOU would gain from marrying him OP? Even a single one? No? Well then there's your answer.

He, OTOH, would gain access to half your worldly wealth. Wealth that should be going 100% to your kids, when you toddle off this mortal coil. But if you marry him, then 'his' half will go to his kids. Do you want that? (Clue: the answer should be 'Fuck no!')

Given he's a "new guy" I wouldn't be thinking about marriage or babies at all.

Can't see any benefit to you or your kids in marrying him, he sounds like a dead loss.

Don't have a baby because your other children want one. That's crazy.

I think 7 kids between you is enough
Bonded families don't really work
He hasn't got any money- nothing to bring to the table

its not for us to judge..

i met and married my husband within 6 months, we've been married nearly 11 years now, we had 7 kids between us (sadly one passed). i must admit another child was never a consideration. i dont consider myself desperate

Yes of course it would;financially.

Congratulations you have a skint cock lodger who wants to financially benefit from you.

Suggest a pre nuptial arrangement to protect your assets in the event of a divorce and see how fast he changes his mind on marriage.

Other than using him for a friends with benefits situation I don't see what else he can offer you and your kids

If this is real, good lord. I don't think I have ever said this in all my years on MN because I am all for women trying to find what happiness they can in a very patriarchal world but think of your children, FGS.

He should be thinking of his too, but he's clearly looking for a patsy.

Fuck me you only met him in February. Are you desperate?

i think the thread yesterday was a little bit more than my being 'annoyed' at my partner. i also think in that thread i never once stated i wanted to leave him, or i was ending it.. my thread was a concern about certain characteristics i wanted advice on.

the thread yesterday has zero bearings on my comments here thank you very much

You met him 3 months ago, he has 4 kids and is skint... and you're considering risking your children's inheritance for this?

I think you need to take several steps back from this relationship, and any future relationships for the time being, because you're very obviously not thinking straight. It doesn't seem you're in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship, let alone be considering marriage.

If you really want to go ahead with this consider prenup ?