Should we remarry if no baby?

[Looloolo]

I’m with a new guy and he’s wonderful.

He has four kids and is skint.

I have three kids and I’m well off.

I don’t worry about my money with him. He’s taken the debt from both exes (never married) even though they cheated on him and pays his child maintenance voluntarily for 10+years.

He never wanted to get married or have kids, didn’t really want to settle down at all.

Then he suddenly changed his mind. I loved the idea of marriage and was on the fence re a baby but my kids wanted a baby so I was thinking maybe.

Then he retracted the baby which I was slightly offended by but agreed.

He is still hot on getting married though but I’m recoiling a bit from no baby and I’m thinking no marriage either.

Not to punish him but honestly thinking what’s the point.

All it will literally mean is that if we ever spilt he’ll get half of mine, even though I know he wouldn’t I would get zero sympathy if it did.

I wouldn’t even change my name because of my kids having a different one then.

So….. am I just cutting my nose off to spite my face over a baby that I wasn’t that bothered about anyway?

Will a marriage tie our families together somehow?

I know not much to go on but I do believe we’ll be together forever.

You’re either insane or extremely gullible to be considering such a pathetic prospect.

What a loser! 4 children by 2 women, why did they leave him (it won’t just be his sob story), and skirt to boot!

Dont touch that with a barge pole.

Don’t marry him. Don’t have a baby with him.
dont let him move in.

You don’t need a baby or to get married.

Whats wrong with just being in a relationship and enjoying being a couple and the kids you do have.

It doesn’t sound like this relationship works very well.

I wouldn’t marry- it just risks everything YOU have

Any other threads you've posted about him would indeed be relevant to this one as it paints a bigger picture of him/your relationship overall.

For the record...I've not read any of your other threads, but based on this one alone I can't fathom why you are even with him. How does he have 4 children when he didn't even want any? Interesting that all of his exes cheated and he decided to take their debt. 🙄 I don't believe it...

Especially with him never wanting to marry but suddenly being very interested in doing so now that he's met a well off woman. It all looks pretty bad.

You wouldn't have anything to gain with this arrangement and you would also be putting your children's futures/inheritance at risk.

I'd absolutely not marry...and the red flags are whipping in the wind so I'd not even be dating this one.

He didn't want kids? Hmmm, I wonder what his exes say about that. Did he not know how to prevent getting them pregnant?

Well yes he would want to marry a meal ticket...

Goodness me, wake up (said with kindness). You would have SEVEN children between you and want more (for your children)?

You’ve been very vague.

how new is new?

have you lived together, have your children lived together?

you shouldn’t even be thinking about marriage let alone babies until you have spent at least a year living together so you can see if everyone gels with the dynamics.

him being skint would be a major no to marriage for me. Skint as in debt or just never has money? If debt I’d want it to all be clearer and have proof he is saving/spending sensibly for a prolonged period first.

also why would you even think about another child if he’s already skint from supporting the ones he has! You would end up having two new children to pay for….the baby and him!

What’s the rush?

Woahhh, have just don’t a name search and saw you were only posting about your husband serving you with divorce papers in February of this year!!

For the love of God, give your head a wobble. You’ve known this new man a matter of weeks and you’re on about marriage and kids!

They met in Feb this year

Just knowing this information I would tell OP to stop any insane talk of marriage or babies and focus on the wellbeing of her children who have only recently gone through the trauma of their parents splitting.

Your post history suggests you were only given divorce papers in February this year. This ‘new man’ (you even call him a new man) is a stranger to you still. Don’t make a lifelong mistake for someone who is plaster for your marriage breaking up. He is your rebound and you’re so wrapped up in the honeymoon period that your judgement is being clouded by it. Tell him you’ll consider marriage after 2 years of cohabiting

Why would you think about asking your children for their views on whether you should have another baby? Why would you consider marrying a man with so many kids and no money when you have assets and kids of your own? Why do your kids even know him 4 months in let alone be asked whether they want him to impregnate you? Why are you considering marriage and a baby with such a new boyfriend? Why all the madness?

With your user name, I'm wondering if you're just lol because you're bored
Obviously just don't even think about marriage
There is everything in it for him and nothing for you.

It’s hard to believe any woman would be so reckless to consider marriage and yet another baby when there are already seven children in the mix.

Rare that a well off woman would fall for a skint man who “Took on his Ex wives debts.

What a catch!

Surely no one can be this gullible?

No no no to marriage ever!!! Protect your kids x

Well he has 2 ex partners that he has children with. It seems too complicated to get involved with all of it. I don't see what you would gain from a marriage. As others have said you need to think about your finances for retirement & also passing anything on to your own children. If you get married it's likely any inheritance would be split 7 ways. What about if anything happens to you - are you happy with your partner inheriting from you?

No marriage. I bet he's keen to marry you. You sound like a good meal ticket.

And don't have a baby. You already have 7 kids between you. How would he contribute financially towards another baby if he is already skint with the 4 he has?

Keep your home for yourself and your 3 kids. Don't bring 5 more people into it. Total chaos. Your home needs to be your kids' sanctuary.

This can't be for real?

I wouldn't get married in this situation. He was never keen with the women he had kids with and all of a sudden, he wants marriage with you.

He talks about a baby... then retracts it . I reckon he just said that to pull you into the decision for marriage. He realises that if the marriage ends, he has to pay child support, for yet another child on top of the 4 he already has.

He's seen the ££ signs.

What is the point of marriage at all? Why? You've been there, done that, you risk losing everything for no reason at all. And you've got enough children. The World doesn't need repopulating.

Have a relationship without living together or getting married. Is he pushing for living together? how often does he have his DC, I'd be worried he's after a live in nanny.

I’m with a new guy and he’s wonderful. He has four kids and is skint.I have three kids and I’m well off.
i bet he is keen to marry. It would solve some of his problems instantly and others with the long game.

.I don’t worry about my money with him. He’s taken the debt from both exes (never married) even though they cheated on him and pays his child maintenance voluntarily for 10+years.
was be married to both of them?
why wouldnt he not pay maintenance voluntarily?

you've nothing to gain from marriage and everything to lose.
he has nothing to lose from marriage and everything to gain.

a baby would cost him. Marriage wont.