Mumsnet double standards?

[Runaway123]

So there are always lots of threads on here about women in pieces with finding out husbands have been messaging other women/having emotional affairs (not talking full on physical affairs here). I myself was one of these asking for advice when I had a situation like this.
All advice on my thread and any other thread like this was the same, LTB, he's a pig, these men are terrible, you'd be better off without them, I couldn't be with someone like this, you'll never trust again, he's disrespected you etc etc.
Fair enough, BUT, there's a recent thread on here full of women who all appear to be having these emotional type affairs, texting other men etc, some of you saying how you can't stop thinking of them. But whilst also having partners and family's (indeed some saying how lovely their actual husbands are) and all supporting each other and going as far as saying it's men your texting that are all to blame. It's always the men's fault!
I don't get it. Why the double standards. Why does it sean perfectly acceptable for women to be having these emotional type affairs situations, but when a man does it, it's awfull terrible, the woman should leave them etc.
Am I missing something? No one on the current thread I'm talking about seams to care how their husband would feel if they knew they couldn't stop thinking about another man, or indeed how these other men's wives would feel if they knew what their husbands were doing with you!
Aware this might cause a bit of controversy, but I'm genuinely intrigued about this. Are there two different types of people on mumsnet? And if so, the women who are in these emotional type things with another man, where are you when someone posts about their husband doing this with advice saying " it's ok, it happens, doesn't mean husband doesnt love you as I'm doing it and I still love my husband"
Does anyone else agree (or disagree ) with me? And if disagree, why? I'm interested in your thoughts munsnetters!

That’s the most stupid statement I have read on the internet this year.

women can be self-centred, selfish and cheat because they want to or are bored or frustrated or fancy a change or a million other reasons, IRL I know 2 women who are both bored in their marriages, but are too selfish to give up the lifestyle provided by their husbands so are having affairs, neither are neglected or abused

There is zero point debating with that poster, who is a 'woman can do no wrong, men are all bastards' type.

No I didn't say anything of the sort, don't put words in my mouth. The post you just quoted was my only post on this thread.

What I find is, if the woman does it it's the man's fault (he doesn't help enough, distant abused etc) if the man does it it's the man's fault.

Men cannot win.

Also some women need to choose their male friends better if the moment they become single they're being hit on. Not a single one of my male friends have ever tried it on with me because you know we value and respect our friendships.

"A man made me do it" really?

Do women ever own their thoughts and actions or don't they know or do anything unless a man is to blame, sounds like the dark ages

I totally agree with you, OP. That said, I have noticed more and more posters calling this nonsense out, which is good. And I have seen one or two threads of late where unreasonable women have had their arses handed to them, which is great to see.

Please don't be ridiculous. I have no idea who you are, so I struggle to see how you feel qualified to comment on the 'type of poster' I am.

I recognize your username from other posts, you are one of the ones who is always banging on about how awful men are.

Unless you have done in depth analysis on every thread on infidelity by both sexes you are making a generalisation.

I've seen plenty of threads involving women having affairs and getting their arse absolutely handed to them on a plate. Equally there is a currently a thread running by a man whose wife is treating him like a walking wallet (I'm paraphrasing here) and I'd say posting is 99% in his favour.

One factor which may skew judgement and responses is often, but not always, a man being unfaithful does so with prostitutes.

Therefore stealing the family money to fund his screwing around, using a vulnerable woman to do so and potentially exposing his partner to STIs. I don't think women tend to to this.

@acpk55 I couldn't agree with you more. Some women I am sure turn a blind eye to affairs and general disrespect because leaving would mean leaving behind the "nice" lifestyle afforded to them by their husbands or selfishly have affairs themselves.

Ah, you're right! We have met. I challenged you on a thread where you belittled a male poster who had commented politely and inoffensively about attraction, and you insulted him, told him he was deluded as no one wanted fat 40 year old men.

You're right, I do express opinions about the bad behaviour of men. But only where they are justified in threads about rape, abuse and male violence. If that's 'banging on about how awful men are' I'll own that. What I haven't done is resorted to unprovoked spite and cruelty towards other posters just because they happen to be men.

Nonsense.
You're very anti men.
Especially those that date younger women. However there other acolytes running a similar narrative.

There's no clearer example of misandry and blatant anti-man bias on Mumsnet than when the ugly subject of cheating crops up. Certain replies to this very thread have demonstrated the point quite neatly. No one of sane mind can deny that countless women have been put through an emotional wringer at the hands of their deceitful male "partner". We're talking shattered lives, broken up homes, confused children, PTSD, the long term damage is usually catastrophic and far reaching. So I understand such bias always comes with a heavy back story. I've nothing but empathy for those women. What I refuse to accept is this hysterically blinkered denial that said "bias" exists at all. I'm glad OP and others here have called it out. Nicely done

I agree. People do seem to ignore that a lot of things can be worked through in relationships too.

I'm not anti men. I'm anti men who abuse, exploit and cause women problems. If you lack the intelligence to differentiate between those two positions, there is very little point in engaging with me, as we will not be debating on the same level.

I think irrespective of the content of post the majority will just agree with poster out o solidarity

How is dating younger women abuse?

Debating on the same level. It's Mumsnet not a marked dissertation. Especially if you're going to use contentious theory laced with misandry to base your argument.

I didn't say dating younger women is abuse.

It's posts like this that keep me coming back to MN even though I know it's a terrible place.

Women belittling women in the name of feminism.

I don't speak 'in the name of feminism'. All views I express are my own.

There are a handful of these bores, they all meld into one, but this poster is definitely a prominent one.

I'm not prominent. You just remember me because I'm the 'man hater' who took issue with your unprovoked attack on a male poster on another thread. It's odd that you feel spite to individual men, who's only crime is being fat and 40, is fair game for you to engage in, but general comments about patterns of male behaviour, statistically evidenced, and not personalised to anyone is something to take issue with me about.

You are prominent, you are always going on and on about 'men' and it gets old.

Well if I'm on a thread about 'men' (not sure why we're using the quotes..?) then I'm not going to be going on and on about my holiday in Margate, am I? But if you don't want to read my comments about 'men' on threads about 'men'...skip them. I don't post here for your entertainment so I'll not be offended.