Does he carry your bags?

[may2724]

Observing couples out and about, I see men carrying bags for their partners and I see men hands free while their partners are carrying heavy bags, backpacks etc

What is the dynamic in your relationship?

Does it start when the couple have babies together?

Or is it just something some men are trained to do?

Even my work colleague carries my bag for me if he thinks it's heavy. He doesn't have any romantic interest in me as he's gay, so I think it's just something some men are trained to do by parent/culture.
Some men don't think to do this, and they might just be a bit oblivious and would probably help if asked.

True enough... I don't want to have to wait for someone else to move sacks of compost in the garden.

DH carries the heavy things when we travel or shop. I still carry things, just not the heaviest. However, I often shop and travel alone so it always amuses me when he says, "let me take that" all concerned, for a medium bag when I've recently backpacked with a bloody heavy rucksack.

He's the perfect combination of the manners of an old school sexist bloke and the sensibilities of a modern ally man. <sigh> he's so dreamy.

Depends if we have our son with us. If we do, it's 50-50 who is carrying the bag(s) and who is carrying/chasing/holding hands with the child.

If we're alone, he'll always carry something heavy. If we both have luggage, we'd carry our own but he'd be willing to take mine if I was struggling. He never carries my handbag for me.

Me and DP don't shop together, because that way lies madness.

I do always go out and get her bags from the car. (And try and carry all of them in in one go, because there are somethings you just have to do when you're male)

DH does it and wouldn't expect me to do it (he is incredibly strong as well as being a gent).

I always remember my DM saying she was really embarrassed, when my brother took her to the airport and didn't offer to carry any of her bags/cases. He's always had a very difficult and nasty nature unfortunately.

DH has always carried my bags, whether it was shopping bags, suitcases, large handbags. I remember before when we didn't have a car and we'd go to do the grocery shopping he would take a large backpack to put all the groceries in and then carry anything excess himself. I would do my best to take it myself but he would never let me. He is still the same now we have a baby.

DH was my only partner that ever did this and so in the beginning it felt very unusual.

At the airport I usually leave ds with him and I go haul the suitcases off the carousel. It's easier because I know which generic navy suitcases are ours and I can get shit done quicker 🤣

If someone "wouldn't let me" carry things is would give me the complete ick actually. Although that's probably down to a pervious controlling relationship

He would carry my handbag if I let him hense why I put it in my post. Children are a mix of young and preteen it's just something he has always done even when we had babies and I'd say I'll just hang it on the pram he would still carry stuff rather than weigh the pram down guess it was the way he was brought up because when alone I make the kids carry there own stuff

I carry my own bags because I'm more than capable.

My husband carries the bags if I let him (he’s disabled) and takes shopping bags from me at the front door if I’ve been out alone, too.
A gallant old bloke 😁

My partner carries mine, always. He says he knows I can carry them myself but I no longer have to. I find it really sweet.

It would be weird if dh carried my bags. Why would he? They are my bags.

If they were say, the family bags, like food shopping for all of us or a heavy suitcase with all of our things, yes, he probably would be more likely to grab it, because I'm more likely to be doing the herding or organsing of everyone.

If we are hiking for the day and taking a bag for the family, it would depend on who packed the stuff - if it's me and mostly my swimming stuff, plus food for everyone, I'd probably carry it as it's my bag. If it's dh packing it, it would be him.

I think all depends on the context, but I wouldn't expect him to carry my things just because he was the penis.

I always grab a basket when we go to a supermarket but DP usually takes it off me after a few (heavy) items are put in there. He'll grab most of the shopping bags - definitely the heaviest ones. He'll also haul luggage in and out of taxis and up hotel / airport steps on holiday... He would never carry my handbag unless I temporarily hand it to him for some reason!

He automatically carries the heavier ones. He wouldn't dream of letting me do it, unless he's hurt his back or something.

I'm divorced, but remember when having my first baby, in labour, carrying my own bag up the stairs and into the labour ward. At 8 cm dilated (I found out when I was examined). He was a twat, if your wife is in active labour, the very least you can do is carry her bag!

Well how about you don't feel either patronised or uncared for, but carry your own bag and just feel equal?

It’s not to do with having a penis. It’s to do with being stronger, especially in the upper body.

Even if you are the same height and weight as your male partner, he will be on average 25% stronger. And most women are smaller and lighter.

Im surprised that you have reached adulthood and don’t know this.

In the same way, many women would carry a bag for a female friend or loved one who was less able to do so, eg an elderly mother or a pregnant sister. It’s about helping someone else , not penises.

My partner would happily let me carry everything, even his stuff. He's been a bit better since I started pointing out to him how shabby it made him look.

Why doesn't he recognise your family suitcases? Is he colour blind?

Only if I asked him to help. It would really give me the ick if he “wouldn’t let me” carry my own stuff otherwise