Does he carry your bags?

[may2724]

Observing couples out and about, I see men carrying bags for their partners and I see men hands free while their partners are carrying heavy bags, backpacks etc

What is the dynamic in your relationship?

Does it start when the couple have babies together?

Or is it just something some men are trained to do?

XH always carried my bags from the word go, he walked on the outside of the pavement too. I loved that about him. Now my DP or my DC carry the really heavy ones, I’ve got used to carrying the normal ones.

I'm a man. Carrying bags is one of our two main jobs. These are carrying stuff, and trying not to get in the way.

I carry my handbag and my own town type shopping. Though DP offers to take some if i have a lot. He will always carry grocery bags. (Unless we have more than 2)

You’re only seeing a snapshot of what is happening at that time, it’s not indicative of all the time.

Today you’d have seen me carrying DC’s backpack and lagging behind, DH carrying DC ahead but DC needed the toilet and DH can walk quicker and carry DC further than I can do he went on ahead with them. You’d have seen me carrying the backpack and DC sat on DH’s shoulders. You’d have seen me carrying the backpack and walking with DC but I’d taken the backpack when DH had them on his shoulders. You’d have seen DH carrying the backpack and carrying DC and me not carrying anything because he’d taken the backpack when DC was being carried by me but then I couldn’t carry them any further and we didn’t swap the bag back.

DH will tend to take heavier things or bulkier things and definitely if I ask him to. DH will also take my bag, even if it’s my handbag. Sometimes if I’m tired or he knows I can be unsure of my footing when walking in the dark so he will take my bag then so I can focus on my footing.

Other than my handbag my dh carries all the bags

Luggage he takes the heavy stuff, general town shopping he often offers but I decline, I'm able to carry a bag with some socks in it

Depends who’s got the kids, either holding the little one or holding the hand of the bigger one.

I have a dodgy back so dh carries all bags but when I was younger dh carried his bags and communal bags but I carried mine.

My husband automatically carries any bags, and just recently our teenage son has started doing the same for me without me ever asking, which I thought was sweet 😊

Yes DP carries any and all bags except my handbag. I’ve never asked him to ❤️

Same here.. I wouldn't want someone to think I was too delicate to carry my own bag 🤔 if shopping he carried his shopping and I carry mine. Suitcases, one each.. groceries, both carry a few each. Guilty of carrying my sons stuff though 🙈

All the men in my life, my DP, sons, dad and previous partners have always carried my bags if they were heavy. I would carry my mums bags. You don't watch someone put in more effort than you would need to to do it.

Depends. If we’ve got bags + dog, I’ll take the bags and he’ll take one bag and the dog as the bags don’t usually sniff around in the bushes and pull my arms off in the process! If we just have bags, he takes the heavy ones and I take the light ones.

Mine does. He’s quite chivalrous which my ex never was, and it took some getting to. Nowadays, I quite enjoy these little ‘acts of service’ - carrying bags, opening doors, putting on my car seat warmer before I get into the car - that sort of thing, though I’m careful never to take it for granted and reciprocate with other little acts of service -a back rub (and often a front rub), cooking a spaghetti bolognese every now and again, and making sure there are dark chocolate digestives in the fridge. It’s how we show we care for each other.

Exactly! You buy it/will eat it, you carry it!
I am a pro at diving on the carousel and grabbing suitcases before DH has spotted them.
He did help me out when I had a trapped nerve in my hip but that was an exception.

Yes he would. Not my handbag (though don't usually carry one), but other bags. He'd happily have the baby strapped to him too.

I used to find it amusing in Russia/Ukraine that the oh so macho men carried the wife/girlfriend's handbag. But I grew accustomed to any male accompanying me taking whatever I was carrying - groceries, books and of course suitcases - I didn't even need to turn around and some random man would be walking next to me carrying my suitcase.

He carries my bags if I have lots

No babies together but he always carries my bags .., he’s a big guy but isn’t put off my carrying my floral rucksack. He won’t let me pick up any suitcases and it’s so refreshing as my ExH was getting me to carry my suitcase while 4 months pregnant and travelling in Egypt in the heat!

My 13 year old son won't let me carry a bag or anything heavy. It's sweet, especially since I'm a single parent and he hasn't learned this from any one.

Depends. If we've just been to Tesco etc, he holds his arms out and I load him up with all the shopping bags. The handles hurt my fingers so I'm happy for the help.

I hate people carrying my bags. He offers every time and I say I'm strong enough to carry my bags. I worry people judge him for me carrying them but then I think the problem is them for judging. I'm a capable person, I'll carry my own.

He carries more than me because he’s stronger than me, but if we’d gone shopping and got 2 bags then we’d carry 1 each.

DP assumes he'll be carrying everything unless I volunteer and will carry anything I hold out without question.

Ex would refuse to carry or even hold anything on the grounds that it wasn't his and it was my choice to bring it. Even when the 'it' in question was all the paraphernalia associated with his child. Quite happy to chuck his phone, keys and sunglasses (and jumper/jacket) in and on top of the bag for me to carry, though.

I'd rather feel occasionally patronised than completely uncared for, personally.

We have 2 young dcs so often have 2-4 bags out with us, so we carry at least one each. We usually have 2 buggies with us, so not practical for one person to carry all the bags.
Before dcs he would usually offer to carry my bags, but I'd never want him to carry my handbag. It would annoy me not to have instant access to my lip balm etc. I've avoided buying bags that are too flowery, eg the changing bag and reusable shopping bags, as I know he's most likely to end up carrying them (although he wouldn't refuse to carry them if they were floral).

On holiday we tend to travel with large rucksacks to be able to push the buggies, so we carry one each.

It depends what we're carrying, and whether he's got a bad back or not. Normally he'll carry heavier/larger things like suitcases.

Once he had a period of atrial flutter, which meant he could walk ok on the flat but simply couldn't do anything requiring extra exertion. I wanted a sack of bird food, he held the door open as I carried it out towards the car ... some silly person piped up 'you should be carrying that'. Ffs why do people not mind their own business? I was perfectly able to carry it.