Oh shit! I pressed SEND by mistake WWYD?

[Iwantacupoftea]

Bad break up from ex. Never told him how much he hurt me. Blocked and went no contact.

Have composed various rants/outpourings/upset/anger etc when l have been down to say all the things l didn't say at the time.

This time l got distracted and the cursor went to send. Oh Hell he is going to think l am totally unhinged. It's been 4 years of no contact and now he gets pages of raw emotion.

How would you salvage this situation? I feel all my hard work of being no contact has been ruined. What an idiot having his real address in the address bar. I'm mortified. It looks as if l haven't moved on at all. I haven't much but l didn't want him to know this. What would you do?

Fellow weirdo here. I'm 6 years on, and I'm not 'hung up on him' as in I absolutely would never take him back, and I wouldn't write an email to him ever. But I do still occasionally have imaginary scenarios play out in my head about my response if I ever bumped into him randomly. They range from pretending I have no idea who he is to punching him in the face and everything in between

I know what we had wasn't real (serious love bombing and future faking), but for a while I was the happiest I've ever been and I'm still hurt in some ways.

Appropriate response here is. "Sorry l, sent it by mistake, all written long ago, I don't feel the same now

This. He is not your Prince Charming.

Genius

Oh OP 🙈

At least you had an affectionate response I guess, so now you can relegate him to the past (where he belongs)

Ok so it’s not as bad as you thought it would be. He’s replied, a fairly pathetic and dodgy reply that you will not entertain responding to (will you OP???). He’s bored in his current relationship and you’ve stoked his ego, that’s all. It could have been worse.
I would completely ignore.
But if you feel you must reply in order to avoid feeling that he’s on top, reply with something like

‘thanks for your reply. That was an old message I drafted years ago after we split and accidentally sent while cleaning out my drafts folder. I’ve moved on from that now. Glad you are well and congratulations on your daughter. I’d rather not connect now because I feel the past is best left in the past. But best wishes for the future’

You both sound as unhinged as each other atm lovely. He's now married with a child and wants to reconnect? Block him, get rid and move on. You're worth so much more than this, and deserve someone to show you that.

DO NOT go back there OP. You’ve been vindicated by his reply, the at much is good but please, please do not try and seek any further validation from this man. It will blow up in your face

The worst thing you could possibly do is to ever respond to him. It would be an even bigger mistake than sending him that email was. Do not engage with him. It will only serve to make your issues even worse. You need therapy, you do not need to invite drama and disaster into your life.

After I'd brushed off all the dead leaves from having been down to the bottom of the garden and burying myself for 48 hours, I'd do nothing but let it inform me that 4 years is too long to be carrying the burden you are over someone who treated you like shit and it's time to very carefully delete all the old emails and work on letting go.

After I'd brushed off all the dead leaves from having been down to the bottom of the garden and burying myself for 48 hours...

I'm howling 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dear 'Dave'

I never meant to send that. It was more of a diary entry meant just for me.

Congratulations on your marriage and DD. I wish you all the best, but it's better for me if we do not stay in contact.

Iwantacupoftea

Oh crappy christ. Not much advice, just wanted to say I feel your pain. This is totally something I would do and then remember every day for the rest of my life and cringe over it. Don't kick yourself too hard, we've all made pratty mistakes.

Delete all his information and try to forget it. You really aren't doing yourself any favours. Four years of wallowing in self pity and anger, he probably can't remember the colour of your eyes. Unfortunately most men can completly disingauge what you are doing isn't healthy. If you need some messaging fun torture a scammer.

You do absolutely nothing. What he thinks is not relevant anymore as he's nothing to do with your life. If he contacts you on the back of it then I'd just calmly reply 'apologies I pressed send in error. No need for any further contact between us' and put it out of your mind. Whatever you do, don't start imagining a response followed by a conversation, or allow this if he gives the opportunity. Because if you're still writing about him now, you were pretty damaged by it, and its not healthy to go in for another round.

Block again. It would be impossible to have a friendship. It's nice to know he still cares but ultimately it doesn't make any difference.

Clearly no you cannot.

block him and actually move on.

Would do nothing unless he contacts you at which I would lol and say gosh did I send that thought I had deleted it years ago. Wish him well and get on with your life. I stressed for a number of years about my first fiance parents who systematically destroyed our relationship. But seeing as I have had a wonderful life probably did me a favour. Look forward and stop stressing about what happened live your life .

Laugh. Then move on with your head held high

Fait accompli. Nothing to be done about this, but there's everything to be done in the future.

This mail is the tip of the iceberg. I see a lot of unfinished business here. This tangle is an ideal time to get this sorted once and for all. Purge every possible avenue of contact, including ransacking contact lists, old messages and texts. Photos, videos, the lost. Empty the recycle bin. Have a bonfire of old letters and cards. Block everything. I take it both parties are unaware of your respective physical addresses. Good. Tomorrow, day one. One day at a time.

Brilliant response

ive not read all the comments but personally, you've been broken up 4 years!

I would get it if the break up was recent, but 4 years ago! i think you meant to send it and now regret it possibly because he hasn't replied yet?

what did you think would happen? yes he's gonna think you are crazy and to be fair who can blame him. 4 years of no contact and then bam your many page rant!

You had a lucky escape I think, his reply to you shows how little he loves his current wife (or he wouldn't go on about his feelings to his ex)

Time to do what is known as a Gotye. Make him somebody that you used to know.
You both have issues. But the deep connection that last 4 years after breakup and his response about how brave you are to write that and he wants to meet you despite having a wife and child all indicate a disfunctional relationship. But it's so intense and real that nobody else understands it, we get it. Crack on.

I've read your updates @Iwantacupoftea and I still have to agree with the previous posters who suggest saying that it was an email you drafted when you first broke up, sent in error when you meant to delete it. Oh, and that you're not interested in any further contact.

He's got his kid but regrets the mother.

Run!!!!'