Oh shit! I pressed SEND by mistake WWYD?

[Iwantacupoftea]

Bad break up from ex. Never told him how much he hurt me. Blocked and went no contact.

Have composed various rants/outpourings/upset/anger etc when l have been down to say all the things l didn't say at the time.

This time l got distracted and the cursor went to send. Oh Hell he is going to think l am totally unhinged. It's been 4 years of no contact and now he gets pages of raw emotion.

How would you salvage this situation? I feel all my hard work of being no contact has been ruined. What an idiot having his real address in the address bar. I'm mortified. It looks as if l haven't moved on at all. I haven't much but l didn't want him to know this. What would you do?

So it's not totally untrue then that it's a draft from years ago? Id send the one liner suggested (unless content makes clear it's recent).

Then yes, think about whether it'd be helpful to have some counselling to help out this to bed. Maybe this will feel cathartic though!!

This was obviously intentional and you meant to write it out and send it but then regretted it afterwards.

If you’ve been separated for a while then it’s obviously been playing on your mind and it’s just something you needed to do for closure.

Instead of feeling ashamed or lying to him about sending it, just own it and be proud that you finally did what you wanted to do.

He may think you’re unhinged but so what.
You felt you needed to say what you said and it doesn’t really matter what his response is.

You need to move on OP.

You sent it intentionally and now regret it. What do you think it will achieve?

Try and recall it or hope he’s changed emails.

Did you send it on purpose op? There is no way you accidentally pressed send, so why pretend?

four years is a very very long time to still be feeling like this, how long were you together? And what were you hoping for my sending it, was it full of I love you stuff?

Oh dear. I'd think I'd shrivel up with embarrassment.

Yes that's extremely bizarre but also bizarre that you write it down in a message box to him surely that's bound to end up getting accidentally sent? Most people would have wrote it down in notes etc 😐🤔

Also wondering this

you sent him a letter stating what you think by mistake, so what? why are you so worried/concerned what he thinks about you? you're never going to see this man again but there's a lot of resentment even after 4 years and little closure, why didn't you told him all this stuff at the time? Sounds like you're still angry and very attached to him hence so worried what he thinks.

I think it’s a good thing you sent send because it’s made you realise that Jesus four years you do need to move on

So I sort of get writing the email (although 4 years on this needs some serious introspection) but doing it with his email address in the recipients field is not credible unless you planned to send it.

Appreciate all the comments but feeling down that everyone is suggesting 4 years is a long time to still be hung up on your ex. Surely it can take years to really get over someone esp if you've not met anyone better?

I guess l revist my email to feel close to him - the possibility of contact - but no l did not mean to actually send it when l did but readily admit that subconsciously l maybe wanted this to happen. Now it has though l am feeling awful.

How long were you together op? What happened, did he end it?

Has he recently become single or something?

Surely it can take years to really get over someone esp if you've not met anyone better

not like this, it’s really unhealthy, I’m sorry and 4 years is a very long time.

Block him and ignore, ignore if he does reply.

We've all done it (I've done it!). Just don't acknowledge any response if you get one. You're worth more.

4 years is absolutely a long time to be still hung up over your ex.

It still may sting a little if you think back or see him out and about but you should not be writing him emails after 4 years.

Wanting to be close to him after 4 years and doing that by going on to your emails is quite extreme.

What happened to the relationship?
Why are you not together anymore?

You have essentially wasted almost half a decade on a man you have absolutely no future with.
You could have trained as a doctor, had a couple of kids, moved to multiple countries etc all in the time you’ve been mourning the relationship.

Of course no one moves on straight away but you need to find a way to get over it, so you don’t waste any more of your life.
You don’t want to look back and regret it.

That’s not having a dig and I feel sorry that you are hurting but you must know that 4 years is a very long time to still not be over an ex to the point where you are emailing him.

Have you reached out to him and asked for him back?

Send another email telling him he's won a million Nigerian dollars and then he'll think you've been hacked.

I think revisiting this, redrafting is unhealthy.

Feeling wistful, sad is natural, but feeding it by composing words etc. is not wise IMO.

Feel for you

I also get affected like this.
I think people like you and I are quite rare.
I think most people get over relationships in the space of weeks/a couple of months if shorter and if longer the norm seems to be a year or two. I get hit really hard and am far too sensitive for my own good. . I am aware it's not normal and it is one of my character flaws. So from one weirdo to another, I get it.

I don't think we all have messaged an ex after 4 years no

But what (except periodically drafting an email) have you done to get over the relationship?
If you've just been sad about it the whole time there's no surprise you've not made any progress in 4 years!
It doesn't mean you have to meet someone new, no, but doing things you like or an occasional pamper to make yourself feel better can help

That was my thoughts!

Appreciate all the comments but feeling down that everyone is suggesting 4 years is a long time to still be hung up on your ex. Surely it can take years to really get over someone esp if you've not met anyone better?

4 years is a really long time to be still hung on your ex.

It is good you sent it, you have cleared that blockage and it is time to move on.
Who cares what he thinks. Maybe he will learn something about himself.

It would be more cathartic to write a letter using a pen and paper then stand in your garden and hold it aloft and set fire to one corner and wash as the paper burns and turns to ashes and are carried away by the wind.

When it's all gone, draw a line under what has gone in and turn your thoughts to looking forward.