Boyfriend searching for massage parlours!!

[mollybbb]

Need some advice, I have been with my partner for 6 years and have recently had a baby who is currently 3 months old. Have felt as though out sex life has reduced a lot since we have had our son but I have been feeling like he hasn't been bothered about sex since having him and he didn't find me attractive anymore. So I went on his phone just to be sure there wasn't anyone else. I found on his search history that he had been searching for massage parlours in our area and for prostate massages near us. I feel comepletely confused I confront him and he said he searched it as he was curious. Just want to know what other people would do and how they would feel as I am unsure. He was also watching a lot of porn with "Thai lady boys" :/

@SummerFeverVenice On massage parlours depends what sort. Some are fronts for sex work and others are genuinely for massage.

There are plenty of genuine massage places that still do extras. They are legitimate massage premesis with both male and female customers, but extras will be offered to men behind a closed door.

I don’t really count the ones that offer sex acts as genuine massage parlours. For me, genuine means staffed with certified massage therapists that are often also physio therapists.

Get your own sexual massage then

I think you’re a gaslighter

@Stargazer00 the reason the OP has gone quiet is this is a zombie thread from months ago. God knows why you and Shuggles decided to try defending the OP's partner after all this time, but I'm sure you have your reasons.

Genuine parlours with certified massage therapists may also offer sex acts. That's what I am saying.

I think we all know why men band together to defend each other.

Fortunately, MN is a little oasis of sisterhood.

you are absolutely right @MrsTerryPratchett don’t even know why I asked lol! It’s always the bad ones though and they give the decent ones a bad name.

@Tillow4ever God knows why you and Shuggles decided to try defending the OP's partner after all this time

I didn't.

Your baby is 3 months old!
you have just had a baby!
your partner has just become a parent, and his partner has just given birth!
no, it’s not because of you.
its not because you are unattractive now
its not because you are too tired

hes looking for massages etc because he is a complete dick head.

He's gay

End of.

Haha, apologies, I genuinely didn't realise it was an old thread. My bad.

I'm not sure if I would say i am depending the OP's partner, per se, all I've done is offer suggestions as to why it might be more innocent than others perceive it to be, and I've used my own experiences to back up my suggestions. i appreciate this is a forum for woman predominantly, but as @MrsTerryPratchett said, its an oasis of sisterhood, meaning opinions are often bias towards the woman, so surely having a male perspective every now and again is helpful?

Her OH could be a complete arsehole, it is likely that is isn't as innocent as it could be, but responses such as 'he's gay ' and 'he is a complete dickhead ' are no help what so ever to either the OP or others without an explanation.

I hope all are having a good week so far.

I don’t think that is all that common though as most workers in massage parlours that offer sex acts are trafficked sex slaves. Their captors don’t tend to let these women go to classes to become certified massage therapists because that would mean their identity would be registered and questions as to their immigration status would arise, they’d have to be allowed out to attend classes, take exams which would risk escape to the police.

@SummerFeverVenice If the owner is a thai woman who is a massage therapist, and the business has been open for a long time, and she has massage certificates, and if the massage parlour has other facilities (such as a hot tub), and provides services not just to men but also women and couples, and there are photographs on facebook showing the employees at training days, is it not fair to say that it is a legitimate business? Such places that offer extra services for men are more common than you might think.

Well I think you have a different definition of “legitimate business” than I do. Your example isn’t what I would call a legitimate business but a front.

It costs nothing to register an LLC with the Companies House and micro-entities are never audited. So yes, there is a paper saying it is a legitimate business but these are really shell companies, which are not legitimate despite having their papers in order. These are fronts to sex traffick, launder drug money, tax dodge. Facebook is literally awash with them and outright scams.

@SummerFeverVenice What is the difference between the business I described and a legitimate business?

Do they have a health and safety policy for handling biohazard? That's a start.

They're not doing it in the course of the business. It's an extra that's offered usually without the owner's knowledge. Doesn't mean it's not a legitimate business.

Unfortunately he’s into men ! Why do men do this to poor women like you 😢 straight men don’t do things like this they absolutely don’t. And it’s a good thing you’re not intimate because god knows what he could give you if he’s off messing around with men. I feel for you, but this is who he is yoy do not want lumbered with this weird man.

walk with your head high I hope you’ve got some family support, leave him with his weird sick ladyboys 😷

Straight men don’t watch or get aroused by lady boys ! Gay men, strange people etc yes not normal straight men.

@Whoknew24 Straight men don’t watch or get aroused by lady boys !

Well quite clearly, some do.

Gay men, strange people etc yes

Have your gay friends told you that they are attracted to ladyboys?

Are you male ? I’m not looking to engage with men who come onto mumsnet in any way shape or form.

And I’ll stand by what I said straight men aren’t into men, trans, lady boys etc they’re into females and females only.

Women don't have cocks, ladyboys do. HTH.

A legitimate business sells legal good and services.
The business you described illegally sells sex.

Without the owner’s knowledge 🤣😂
The owner takes a cut. They just pretend they don’t know for when the police raid the premises and arrest them.