Mortified - Am I really that bad?

[Itsanewday5]

I'm 28 and have been single for years. I've been on and off dating sites for a long time and I normally don't let things get to me. I know how men can be and half of them on there only want sex. Hope for the best but expect the worst is the way I try to look at things.

I've met quite a few people off them and it's either not worked out after some time dating or I've realised that there wasn't a connection after meeting and vice versa. I've always been honest and said "sorry not for me" as I don't like to string people along and most of the men that I've met have done the same thing. I think it's the right thing to do and it doesn’t need to get nasty.

Anyway, I started talking to a man last Friday and we hit it off straight away. The conversation just flowed and we were talking every day on the phone up until yesterday. We had a lot in common and just seemed to make each other laugh constantly. He said he hadn’t had a connection like this with someone for ages. All good. We had plans to meet this weekend but he asked me to meet him last night as he couldn’t wait any longer to meet me. He lives an hour away so we agreed to meet up at a pub for some drinks/food.

The date went really well, or so I thought. Lots of laughs, good conversation, a bit of kissing. He said he wanted to see me again this weekend. He didn’t text much last night but it was late when we both got home so I just assumed that he’d gone straight to bed when he got in. I sent the last text and woke up this morning to no reply (I know he gets up at 5-6am as he mentioned it and I didn’t wake up until 8). I sent another message just to say have a good day. Anyway I’ve just checked my phone and he’s unmatched me on the dating app and blocked me on WhatsApp. WTF?!

I’m not sure what’s up with me as normally I’d just shrug it off and move on but it’s really upset me and I’ve had a little cry this morning over it. I think it’s just knocked my confidence and I’ve been sat here wondering what I did/said wrong. We had food at the pub and I’m not sure if it put him off watching me eat. I am slightly over weight but he knew this beforehand as my pictures show my body and we spoke about it (he’s also on the heavy side). I know that probably sounds silly though. I’m embarrassed but I’m not sure why, like I did something wrong. Am I really bad that he felt the need to block me without an explanation.

I know I need to give my head a wobble and nobody on here can do anything but I just wanted to vent I guess. I’m also facing redundancy at work at the minute so generally just feeling a little down and I think this has just knocked me and made me feel worse. If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading…

But then WHY was he going on so about how much he liked OP and wanted to see her again?

I genuinely can’t fathom that behaviour. Like literally why?

I can’t understand feeling a bit awkward and not wanting to tell someone on the date that actually you aren’t into them, but what I really can’t understand is going so far in the opposite direction and saying how much you like them and making plans to meet again if that just isn’t true??

Don't give him another thought. He's either dozy or dishonest or possibly both. In either case, he's a useless cunt and you're definitely better off without him.

May man. May

Please don't put yourself down or blame yourself. It's possible, like others have said, he has a partner and he is limited when he can get away or, which I think is more likely, he was testing boundaries for sex. He probably realised he wasn't going to get into your pants, or it may take more work than he wanted, to get there. Sadly, some men are morons! You aren't to blame, that is squarely on him, for being a coward and not being honest. Some men, give a good talk, flatter, charming but when it comes to putting words into actions, are severely lacking. Don't give up, your someone is out there, your paths just haven't crossed yet.

It’s not outdated at all.

@ThisIsaNiceDress Why not...?

If a snake bites you, you don't hunt it down and demand that it tells you why it did it.....

Same with this bloke OP. He was cowardly, saying he wanted to meet up again then blocking you suddenly - you deserve better.

It's NO comment on your intrinsic worth. Even if something about you put him off - obviously that happens all the time - we only fancy a handful of people from all the people we meet. But that doesn't mean it's something you did "wrong", or ought to change.....

Unfortunately, a lot of people do mislead and ghost on internet dating. You almost have to expect it......

As a PP said, try not to talk for too long or get to intimate over chat (and I don't just mean sex - also friendship intimacy) as it is likely to make things awkward if one doesn't fancy the other......

Try to put it behind you. Get back on those apps and get swiping! You come across as a lovely person, and you will find someone for you - I found my life partner on Tinder, as have countless others.....Just have to wade through a big sludge of frogs first sometimes, alas!