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Original poster

Found viagra in husbands wallet

101 replies

Helloookittee · 10/05/2024 08:42

He says it’s for me for us to try and kickstart us having sex again. We’ve not really talked about that for a few months and it’s been a rocky time in our marriage the last few years.

There were two tablets bought at the beginning of April, he said he didn’t want to discuss as he felt embarrassed. Not sure why he didn’t put in the cupboard or his side table. The wallet??

He assures me he loves me, there’s no one else and he wouldn’t dream of having an affair. He was really upset last night, woke me up at 2am to ask me if I believed him as he couldn’t cope if I didn’t. He went on about how much he has messed stuff up between us when he wanted to try and improve things. He said he’d struggle to sleep if I didn’t say I believed him. As I was tired I said I did.

I’m still not convinced though…he’s a recovering alcoholic and I used to get flat out denials and then I’d find bottles of vodka. He says this is why he woke me up as he knows it doesn’t look good.

I’m feeling pretty confused…wwyd Mumsnet?

OP posts:
Original poster
Helloookittee · 08/07/2024 11:02

Khow25 · 08/07/2024 06:09

Hi lovely!

After Christmas I found packs of it in my partner (14 years and two young children) school bag (he's a teacher).

It utterly crippled me, especially as I'd known we hadn't had sex in a year. We have financial difficulties, both work full time stressful jobs, two boys and not a lot of support for childcare. Our younger son has also been in and out of High Dependency Unit at the hospital for 7 months for constant breathing difficulties. I felt like I'd lost myself, it was never that I didn't want to be intimate with my partner. I was exhausted and felt like a shell of a person.

He expressed he no longer loved me and as we weren't having sex, said we were friends. We are now separating and selling our family home. The last 6 months have devastated me. He wasn't interested in trying to talk about anything and it felt the sex thing was the reason he disconnected himself from me. I've given everything to my family and always put my family before my own needs.

I have asked him 5 times if he is/has there been someone else. He still says no but I don't believe him. He said he was talking about our sex life with a friend and he had given my partner the Viagra, telling him it would help us. My partner said he had them as he'd planned to give them to colleagues at work. There was a little black tablet, a whole box out of date unopened and a sheet with one missing.

It's just heartbreaking and so insulting...

I really hope you get to the bottom of it!! I plan to ask my partner again when our boys are out the house about them and really question him. We are separated but living in our house together raising our boys. It's the hardest thing I've had to go through. I may never get to the bottom of it but he shows no empathy toward me. Just carries on as usual quite happily.

I hope this is some support that you're not alone with this...

If it is the case, that they're for someone else then you deserve so much better my lovely.

Omg @Khow25 you’ve been through it, it must be highly stressful with all that is happening with your son too. You have my sympathies.

I am in a bit of a stale mate situation, I still can see the viagra packet in his bedroom drawer now but my trust and mental health have been affected. I’ve recently been diagnosed with a personality disorder (I don’t want to reveal on here and on list for psychiatric assessment) and ADHD so everything has been doubly hard.

It’s so hard living in the same quarters as a partner, in your case expartner who is so emotionally devoid of kindness and understanding, as well as honesty, when what we need is love.

Thank you for replying on here

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