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Original poster

Top places exH sulked - can anyone top these! (semi-lighthearted!)

675 replies

heliosoftroy · 09/05/2024 12:00

Currently going through a divorce from my super sulker ex, and often find myself thinking, with incredulity, at some of the sulks soon-to-be-exH pulled in the most inopportune moments! Top sulk moments -

  • On a beach in the Florida Keys. Also a beach in Miami (separate occasion)
  • Sitting in the 3rd row of the stalls at Hamilton on Broadway
  • At my birthday dinner out in a fancy restaurant
  • All the way on a 3hr train journey to a romantic weekend away I planned for his birthday
  • The first Christmas I went to stay with his family
  • At Peppa Pig World in the very long queue for a ride
  • DC's birthday party
  • On a cruise in the middle of the Caribbean
  • Looking round wedding venues...

I'm sure there are more, but anyone got any crackers from sulking partners to make me feel better?!

OP posts:
Projectme · 10/05/2024 13:26

MsNatalie · 09/05/2024 17:19

My ex husband was in the middle of one of his regular 4 day sulks. When he eventually realised I'd had enough, he certainly got quite chatty trying to convince me to stay. It was too late by then.

Huffs, silent treatment, sulking all wear a person down.
The fool thought he could just keep doing it, and I'd stay. Awful. Stupid man.

Sounds just like my Dad. He'd have mammoth sulks that lasted DAYS on end. But even when he would come out of his sulks, he was never 'chatty' to try and make up for them; it was as though they never happened and we just had to tolerate them. I remember one epic one where he couldn't spread the honey from the jar on his toast so he sulked for about 3 days. Would sit in 'his' chair, not let any of us have the TV on and would just glower into space. And then all of a sudden the mood would lift.

The major one lasted months. Spoke to none of us yet Mum continued to wash his clothes, provide his meals blah blah. The worst time ever; I ended up with anxiety/panic attacks that have lasted throughout life.

Horrible times as a child that I can still recall. Sadly Mum never left him but she should have done.

ComeAgainPlease · 10/05/2024 13:27

Oh if I may add a 'not mine thankfully, but friend's DP' on an aeroplane about to land at Uluru as one day / evening of our three week trip ... because the Cabin Crew wanted him to stash his tray table and he was using it and "knew" he had another 30 seconds until it needed to be put away.

And my StepFather ... frequently and for no reason except the floor is on the ground and the ceiling is above his head. Wanker.

Mumtoboys82 · 10/05/2024 13:30

Wedding, honeymoon, family events, pretty much every holiday, Christmas. Made me live my life on tenterhooks waiting for the next sulk. It was horrible :(

Starsandflowers · 10/05/2024 13:40

Oh I had two terrible exes who did this type of crap...

This might be outing but I had one who on the way back from a backpacking trip to Croatia (which i paid for)... seeing the different cities.. a week on a beautiful beach.. a boat trip round islands... via a weekend in Venice where we saw some of the most beautiful renaissance art...turned to me and said 'there must be more to life than this? Just walking round looking at things' In the most sullen manner.

He also sulked in Paris when the rapture didn't happen... thats right he was upset because the world hadn't ended and the worthy hadn't been lifted up to heaven.
We were in Paris with some relatives if mine including young children and I just thought 'this man is sad because the world hasn't ended and killed these sweet children'

He also sulked on a cruise stopping in Morocco... because I smiled at his brother when his brother told a joke at dinner.

He sulked on my birthday and left the event to go to bed at 6.30pm because he had a mild cold.

The other ex just ruined everything constantly by getting too drunk and saying awful things about everyone.. everyone was a theif, a liar, disgusting... etc etc
He too sulked in Paris (a trip I paid for totally)

Omg saying that I forgot there was a 3rd in my 20s who I went to Paris with who refused to do anything touristy and wanted to 'see the real Paris' and made us walk round an industrial estate.. then had a two hour nap on a bench in a park because he was tired.. whilst I just sat there.

Thankfully although he has his moments like everyone does.. my husband is not a miserable bastard. So I've broken the chain finally!

mossylog · 10/05/2024 13:44

Aquarelles · 10/05/2024 13:25

Sulked because I asked him to make his own bed, for estate agent photos. (We had separated and were selling the house). He pouted and said "Can you not do it, you're so much better at it than me?" Hmm Pulling some sheets straight, are you joking???

Classic side serving of weaponised incompetence here!

Starsandflowers · 10/05/2024 13:44

Omg and I just remembered about my ex who didn't speak to me for a week because I didn't put an X on the end of a text thanking him for giving me a lift in his car.. so apparently my gratitude wasn't sincere and I was using him.
He didn't tell me that was why he was sulking until the end of the weeks sulk.

Aquarelles · 10/05/2024 13:54

mossylog · 10/05/2024 13:44

Classic side serving of weaponised incompetence here!

Show quote history

The last of many! Grin

BirthdayRainbow · 10/05/2024 13:56

zaxxon · 10/05/2024 12:00

I can laugh now, but sulking adults who are supposed to care about you is damaging and toxic. Hurrah to us all who have got rid 🎉

Amen to that. I laughed a lot at this thread ("he lost at rock paper scissors!"), but I'm also full of admiration for all those who have broken free of such awful manipulative partners/family.

I'm full of hope for all those that have stayed with the sulker/abuser/silent treatment giver that the leave.

TargetPractice11 · 10/05/2024 13:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

The mental image of this is just hilarious.

Literally what my three year old might do.

Abeona · 10/05/2024 14:03

There seems to be a clear link from the accounts here between sulking and holidays.

Reading these responses has reminded me of a dear friend who used to be married to a man who ruined every single holiday they ever went on. At one point in their late 30s they were both able to take two months off work and together planned the holiday of a lifetime travelling in South America. It was planned nearly a year in advance and she learned basic Spanish and Portuguese in order to make it easier for them.

She researched the flights and they discussed their route and where they wanted to stay. He seemed to be completely on-side. With six months to go she wanted to book flights and their first few hotels in advance. He kept putting it off — not this month, maybe next month. Prices began to rise as the departure date approached. He still kept putting it off. She booked for herself and gave him the details, her seat number and so on. He didn't book. The week before they were due to go and she started packing, he became unhelpful: she couldn't find some of the clothing she needed and suspected he'd hidden it. He showed no sign of preparation and then with 24 hours to go announced that he'd decided to come — but by that point flights were really expensive. So he followed a week behind and was then sulky when he finally arrived in Buenos Aires to find she'd made friends and had had a lovely week without him. He sulked and moaned for the rest of the holiday: on the return journey he was vile to everyone they encountered and refused to talk to her. She announced her intention to leave him as soon as they got home and he was gobsmacked.

Are there any psychologists around who can explain why holidays and travel are such a catalyst for the bad behaviour?

dirtyfries2023 · 10/05/2024 14:09

When I went into labour, 3 weeks early on Xmas day. Husband was hungover and kept begging the nurses for panadol for his headache, whilst I was being prepped for theatre.
They wouldn't give him any so he sulked and threw his Christmas hat (which he still had on from the pub on Xmas eve) on the floor!
I had a beautiful baby boy and the first thing the husband said was 'shall I ring your mum to tell her to put the turkey in the oven?'

We are divorced.

AuntieJoyce · 10/05/2024 14:15

I think this thread should be in classics.

I remember XH’s first sulk when we had not been going out very long. We were in a Little Chef and his toasted tea cake was insufficiently warm and the butter wouldn’t melt into it.

GerbilsForever24 · 10/05/2024 14:35

@Abeona I am not a psychologist, but I think it's because many sulkers have things set up very much to their liking on a daily basis. Their partners/children are already walking one eggshells to ensure they don't sulk, so food is prepared how they like it, activities happen to their schedule etc. In addition, at a psychological/emotional level, their need to be the centre of everyone's lives is being fed.

But then a holiday or an event or someone else's birthday happens and things go out of the window for them. Suddenly, they're NOT at the centre of everyone's attention. Their needs are not necessarily being prioritised. It's someone else's birthday so they get to decide where to eat or what to do. It's a holida that everyone has looked forward to so people are enjoying the sights or disappearing to do other things.

They simply can't cope with this.

GymPanda · 10/05/2024 14:52

@GerbilsForever24 You've hit the nail on the head - the sulkers aren't only sulky, they're also controlling/narcissistic/spoilt/attention-seeking/immature.
I know several autistic young adults who were very uncomfortable about going on holiday - out of routine, different food, etc etc. Not one of them sulked or spoiled their parents holidays - they understood that they had to adjust and work together to make it ok. They showed a lot more maturity and sense than these sulking baby adults!!

Needhelp101 · 10/05/2024 14:58

It must have been awful at the time but the sulk because the Rapture didn't happen honestly made me laugh out loud!

chatelai · 10/05/2024 15:10

Just realised that mine are so specific (and funny in a sad way) that they make me recognisable, so I've deleted.

Just as a taster:

At the scattering of my Dad's ashes.

On a holiday for a significant birthday that I'd paid for.

He is a gaslighter and a narcissist (I think - something similar, if not actually that).

No longer together.

Projectme · 10/05/2024 15:15

Delphigirl · 09/05/2024 18:25

My DH has never sulked, in 30 years. It’s why I married him after four years. My DF, however, won a lifetime achievement award in sulking. He sulked:

  • on holiday, whenever we were about to go, it was too hot, something went wrong, we did something we had not guessed in advance he did not want to do, and before we came home (Florida, Barbados, Greece, bits of England all memorable sulk-fests);
  • Whenever someone else was celebrating, birthdays, promotions, anniversaries, engagements so he was not the focus of attention;
  • at parties, when one of his family was having a nice chat with someone else and he perceived he was being ‘ignored’;
  • on long car journeys, because he was hot, hungry, lost, not there yet, didn’t like the little chef;
  • at airports when sending us back to boarding school 3000 miles away (probably because he was sad to see it go but he turned it into an awful silent-treatment ordeal);
  • for reasons that were never explained, hence the sulking, because we SHOULD have known what the problem was, etc etc

the sulking was often followed by anger and physical violence (always directed at me and my sister, never my younger brother), followed by more sulking because we had “made him” angry and he did not like “having to” chastise us (could have fooled me).

So I think sulking is positively insidious and abusive and I am grateful every day my DH doesn’t do it and that my kids are lucky enough to have him as their dad 💕

Edited

It can really affect your life can't it...even years on. Your story sounds awful. But so glad you've found a lovely husband; makes you realise just how bad your dad was. (I have similar dad and husband to you so know how it feels) 💐

PeartreeOrchard · 10/05/2024 15:44

Atethehalloweenchocs · 09/05/2024 20:36

My step dad once sulked for 3 months because I had plans already when he voluteered me to pick up my cousin from the train station when she had arranged to come and visit him at short notice (she never called me directly because she knew perfectly well that there were a plethora of buses or taxis she could take and is capable of travelling all over the world by herself). As far as DSD was concerned, the only option was for me to give up my evening to take her to the station. I said no. This apparently embarrassed him and would not speak to me from November to February - would not open presents from me or my sister at Christmas (we are still not sure why she got included). Would not even look at me if I went to visit mum. In the end I gave mum an ultimatum (she always took his side) and he called to see if we 'could not make things right'. I told him I had no idea why he had been in such a sulk in the first place, I did not feel I had done anything to make right, and this reaction had been totally ridiculous.

After mum died he pulled a mini sulk on me one day and I walked out. He has never done it again but I am his sole caregiver now, so he has to be on best behaviour.

Similar. My Father is a sulker and my Mother is an event ruiner with zero problems overstepping boundaries. My childhood was a blast.

We live near a major city Airport so my Father offered up our car to pick up and a spare room for family visiting from the States to overnight at before onwards travel.

Never actually asked me.

We were not even in the country on the date in question, which caused a huge drama as he only told me a day or so before they were due to arrive. He did the 'I told you but you must have forgotten' gaslighting BS and I was having none of it as my trip was for a very meaningful event so I knew I would absolutely never have agreed to have people over. I told him this in no uncertain terms.

Two an a half years on he has not spoken to me because I embarrassed him as the family had to make their own way up country. (note HE didn't go get them)

Newestname002 · 10/05/2024 16:05

XMissPlacedX · 09/05/2024 19:47

Ex fiancé, was 14 years older than me and I was only 21 at the time. He got in a sulk because his nephew (who had literally only taken his first steps a few days earlier) came to me instead of him when we went to visit his sister.

He sat there staring at me for a whole hour silent before his sister ( who was lovely ) walked in from the kitchen with a bottle and asked my ex fiancé ' does the sulky toddler want a bot bot' shaking the bottle at her brother.

We all fell about laughing and ex fiancé got up, told us all to Fuck off and walked out. I stayed for an hour afterwards and she told me all about how sulky and childish he is and that I could definitely do better. I sent him a txt when I got home dumping him, his response was ' I was going to dump you anyway' lol

I sent him a txt when I got home dumping him, his response was ' I was going to dump you anyway' lol

Then you were both happy!

What a lovely person his sister sounds. Hope you're still friends with her? 🌹

Newestname002 · 10/05/2024 16:06

Bollindger · 09/05/2024 19:51

On a bank holiday weekend , we broke up.
He thought he had a lift back to airport the next day , if he missed the plane, he would have been AWOL .
I made him pay me £50 To drive him to the airport...

Good for you! 😂😂

honeylulu · 10/05/2024 16:11

Some of these are hilarious and some are shockingly awful!

My mum can be a champion sulker. I realised that she did it to punish/control us (me and sister) when we had displeased her. It was me more often! Strangely enough now we aren't dependent on her she doesn't really do it, as it would have no real power. But it was awful at home as she was in charge of the household and just froze you out like you didn't exist.

I'm ashamed to say I used to sulk in my younger days. I was very confrontation avoidant and sulked instead. When I got together with my husband he could sulk epically too. I outgrew it naturally as I learned to own and deal with my feelings. He carried on for some years more. On one of the more comical occasions we were at the airport car drop off office and he sat down at the desk but sort of overbalanced and cartwheeled sideways. It was the funniest thing I (and our son who was 5) had ever seen and we couldn't stop laughing. I could see H getting more and more annoyed. We went and hid behind a pillar but then son found a chair and kept reenacting it and setting me off again. He sulked all the way to Morocco. Then we got there and unpacked he (still in foul mood) found shampoo had leaked over his clothes. He tried to rinse the clothes in the shower but it was softened water and ended up like a foam party. I managed to keep a straight face and said "oh dear" but apparently that was wrong. Then in the morning he went to reception and complained that "the birds tweeted too loudly in the morning". I don't know what he expected them to do about it.

Fortunately he pulled himself together after that, probably when he realised we were having a nice time anyway and he was only spoiling things for himself. I think if you can show a sulker his sulks aren't having any effect (in the early days I'd try and coax him out of it which just made things worse). Though obviously if it's a special occasion or difficult in some other way it's not always possible.

He stopped sulking completely about 10 years ago after we'd had a row and he sulked/barely spoke to me for 6 weeks. I had completely had enough and said I couldn't see the point staying together because I couldn't bear living like this and would rather separate. I had a good job and could support myself. He knew I meant it. Magically he was able to stop sulking thereafter.

Newestname002 · 10/05/2024 16:21

BirthdayRainbow · 09/05/2024 20:42

Every one of you who is still with a sulker, read the posts of those that have successfully put a stop to such stupid behaviour and enact what they did.

Then leave if it doesn't stop. Don't waste your life on a fucking idiot.

Yes to this! Value yourself better than be with someone so bereft of maturity or empathy. If you're currently financially stuck, research how you can get your ducks in a row to escape.

Shackling yourself to someone like this will destroy your mental health. I actually did a flit from the person who treated me like an object, rather than a person he was supposed to love. Left him one day without a word and all my possessions in a suitcase and plastic bags to live with a supportive friend at a location he knew nothing about. He also didn't know my place of work (he had no interest) so I was able to recuperate without him anywhere near me physically, verbally or emotionally. One of the best things I ever did. 🌹

Newestname002 · 10/05/2024 16:34

@IBegYourBiggestPardon

Oh. My. God!!! I REALLY wish/hope Karma existed so he could get just a little taste of what he put you through. Hope life is kinder and calmer for you now. 🌹

Newestname002 · 10/05/2024 16:41

Eliza779 · 09/05/2024 22:02

Think I can beat it: sulked when I found out my DF had cancer and was upset at him being very ill. I mean I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. I cried a little, hugged DF, was a bit sad. Ex’s response whilst sulking: ‘he’s not dead yet.’
I could write a book!

I hope he's an Ex! 🌹

Newestname002 · 10/05/2024 16:51

LadyHavelockVetinari · 10/05/2024 00:44

In the middle of a rainforest in Brazil, after three days of trekking. Finally arrived at a beautiful waterfall and he sulked because I was flirting with the guide (I wasn't, I exchanged a few pleasantries and accepted a clove cigarette from him as I had not tried them before). He sulked all the way out of the rainforest and threw my bag across the bus on the way back.

Fifteen years later and the list is truly comedic. He's sulked in islands. In restaurants. On rivers. At the beach. Up mountains. On birthdays. At Christmases.

You've divorced him now, right? What a complete waste of oxygen he is. 🌹

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