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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Top places exH sulked - can anyone top these! (semi-lighthearted!)

675 replies

heliosoftroy · 09/05/2024 12:00

Currently going through a divorce from my super sulker ex, and often find myself thinking, with incredulity, at some of the sulks soon-to-be-exH pulled in the most inopportune moments! Top sulk moments -

  • On a beach in the Florida Keys. Also a beach in Miami (separate occasion)
  • Sitting in the 3rd row of the stalls at Hamilton on Broadway
  • At my birthday dinner out in a fancy restaurant
  • All the way on a 3hr train journey to a romantic weekend away I planned for his birthday
  • The first Christmas I went to stay with his family
  • At Peppa Pig World in the very long queue for a ride
  • DC's birthday party
  • On a cruise in the middle of the Caribbean
  • Looking round wedding venues...

I'm sure there are more, but anyone got any crackers from sulking partners to make me feel better?!

OP posts:
OneThreadOnly · 11/05/2024 20:12

Mookie81 · 10/05/2024 18:36

What was he doing with them?!

Just having a drink, nothing untoward, I just felt overwhelmed with all the strangers (to me) asking where he was and a tad embarrassed that he had left me, his brand new bride to have a drink with his mates.

AzureOrca · 11/05/2024 21:11

My husband sulked for three weeks at Christmas one year because I asked him to put some cards through doors. I had been off work for six weeks and was being checked for lung cancer. It was unlikely as I never smoked but was a croupier and they allowed smoking indoors at that time. Very stressful.

krne · 11/05/2024 22:52

Too many to remember them all but in our 20's, abroad with my Mum and her friend, had a falling out (can't even remember what it was about) and he disappeared for the whole night turning up at 7am refusing to speak about it.
Fell out with my friends on my 18th birthday, me on my 30th and my Dad on my 40th 😢 Why do people want to ruin others special occasions?

pantsalot · 12/05/2024 07:02

I think it's about their lack of emotional control which they then blame of someone else.

Its very sad and I don't know what the answer is as LTB is obvious to most of us but it's different when you're in that situation and there's kids, mortgages and ties in general. It is abuse

Civilservant · 12/05/2024 07:27

@Sharontheodopolodous That’s bone-chilling. Glad you left him!

AliceMcK · 12/05/2024 09:09

Got another. Not my ex but my friends boyfriend.

lots and lots to choose from. My birthday one year I choose a very loud restaurant, it was known for how loud it was. Italian restaurant where the waiters were known for shouting and singing, lots of Ciao Bella’s, they did the equivalent to a firefighters calendar with shirtless waiters. It had a very Italian atmosphere, cramped tables with checkered tablecloths, candles in wine bottles. It was always a fun night. Anyway I didn’t want friends bf to come, I knew he’d hate it therefore ruining both hers and my night, but she insisted and said he will be fine, she’d warn him it was a loud place. Seriously he didn’t get both feet across the threshold before his face started. Not a word from him. He ended up sat between one of my friends (a quiet timid lady) and his gf. The only other man there was a friend of mine. As he was the only one I didn’t see regularly I made sure I sat next to him as I knew there was going to be trouble. Before we even ordered he sat there and screamed THIS PLACE FUCKING SUCKS! And then resumed his sulking. He refused to order. My poor friend quickly ate her starter and left with him.

I will never ever understand why she’s with him, he stifles her so much. I could tell so many stories but they would be very outing for her. He is the biggest man child ever, which I know is a big thing to say on this thread but he’s definitely up there with the wet shoe guy and paramedic crooner!

WoodBurningStov · 12/05/2024 09:33

My exdh was a sulker, could go days and weeks over some perceived slight. My 'straw' came when I put a pan of water, to hard boil eggs on the 'wrong' ring on the hob. I just knew I was in for days of sulking and it was a lightbulb moment for me. I divorced him, and he still thinks it was over a hob ring .

He would sulk to stop me doing things, such as seeing friends, he ruined my 21st birthday by sulking, the list goes on, but the hob was my breaking point.

JamSandle · 12/05/2024 09:33

God he sounds fun! I bet you're glad he's an ex.

JamSandle · 12/05/2024 09:37

Sharontheodopolodous · 10/05/2024 22:11

I fell pregnant to my ex-hellish pregnancy (I was carrying twins,lost one and the 'lost baby' formed into a blood clot that could have killed us)

He sulked because I started bleeding (ruined his plans for that night,getting pissed with his mate),I refused sex when we got back home after scans and tests showed what had happened,sulked because I'd smiled at him while having a vaginal swab (I looked like I was 'enjoying' it,male doctor did the tests) and I refused to buy him beer to make up for his 'lost' night out (he was a cocklodger on a massive scale)

He sulked at every appointment (high risk pregnancy)

And he sulked all the way through my labour as he didn't feel I supported him properly,we had a male midwife (like that was my choice) he was hungry-i should have packed food for him,plus he was pissed off I'd woken him at half 6 in the morning-he wasn't an early bird

Sulked when we got home because he couldn't play on his x-box due to having to help with baby

I left him

Wow this is horrendous. I am so happy to read you left him. 💖

JamSandle · 12/05/2024 09:46

My dad is a sulker and I've often put up with sulky men. Only now figuring out that I can't tolerate that BS any more. Communicate whats upset you or fuck off.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 12/05/2024 10:01

Ex wasn't a sulker generally but he threw an epic one on a birthday (both of us) trip to Venice - hotel was a former palazzo, we came back on the Orient Express - the works for two big birthdays. I've a pick of him sitting over dinner on the train and he looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Unknown to me he was already shagging the woman he left me for 2 months later. He didn't spoil Venice or the trip, though.

Dweetfidilove · 12/05/2024 10:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Was he this ridiculous all the way through 🫣🤣🤣

EverybodyLTB · 12/05/2024 10:37

I just listened to Katherine Ryan’s podcast this morning, where someone writes in that her husband is sulking (4 days) because he heard of a poll where women had voted that if they were to meet either a random man or a bear in the woods, they’d choose bear. This man is now giving his wife the silent treatment because he’s so upset that women think all men are scary. The wife had nothing to do with this and didn’t vote in this poll. What a cunt. KR was like ‘try and talk to him’ yea, no. Divorce!!

JamSandle · 12/05/2024 10:39

EverybodyLTB · 12/05/2024 10:37

I just listened to Katherine Ryan’s podcast this morning, where someone writes in that her husband is sulking (4 days) because he heard of a poll where women had voted that if they were to meet either a random man or a bear in the woods, they’d choose bear. This man is now giving his wife the silent treatment because he’s so upset that women think all men are scary. The wife had nothing to do with this and didn’t vote in this poll. What a cunt. KR was like ‘try and talk to him’ yea, no. Divorce!!

This is why women chose the bear! At least bears don't sulk. 🤣

BlastedPimples · 12/05/2024 11:10

I have read this thread in astonishment.

So many ways lives are made miserable by others.

JamSandle · 12/05/2024 11:17

BlastedPimples · 12/05/2024 11:10

I have read this thread in astonishment.

So many ways lives are made miserable by others.

It's made me feel better about being single!

Nettie1964 · 12/05/2024 13:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Mine spent Christmas in bed. Meals going up on trays. (Yep I know I was so stupid) he didn't like my children because unlike me they didn't agree with every royal command. He cpuldcsulk for weeks.

WiseKhakiGoose · 12/05/2024 14:16

Eliza779 · 11/05/2024 18:36

Going on holiday, early twenties, my mum had kindly offered to drive us to the airport. Ex and I were putting luggage in car and mum was last out so locked the door behind her and gave him the key.
He was furious for three days. I could tell as soon as we all sat in the car - that something was off. He wanted to lock the door.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

abbey44 · 12/05/2024 14:45

My ex, as well as sulking at 60,000 feet and Mach 2, could also sweat the small stuff quite spectacularly.

i remember once we took the children to the beach (one was in a buggy, the other was about 3, I think) and went to get ice creams from the van. He managed to drop his ice cream on the ground and threw the most epic tantrum about it. No he wouldn’t get another one, THAT was the one he wanted, stamped his feet, went red in the face, waved his fists in the air. It went on for a good ten minutes. The children and I were all 😲😲😲 in astonishment - it surpassed any tantrum they’d ever had, but I could see them storing it up for future reference. I told him to get a bloody grip and grow up, which prompted The Sulk. I think that one lasted nearly a week.

We went out to dinner one evening with another couple, a business colleague of his. I’d mad an effort, as you do, and thought I’d scrubbed up quite well. He ignored me during the dinner, the drive back home and for several days afterwards. Turns out it was because I’d worn nail varnish and he was envious. (His cross-dressing had been under the radar until then…)

He didn’t do illness either - I had a couple of emergency hospital stays (appendix, broken ankle) which of course were always at the most inconvenient times for his Very Important Job and the sulks were laid on thickly to make me understand just how much I was putting him out. But I think the worst of these was when I had a miscarriage - we were going to a large Christmas party and I was designated driver for us and another couple because I wasn’t drinking. I started bleeding before we left and tried to say I wanted to give the evening a miss, but he wouldn’t hear of it. I’d be letting everyone down if I didn’t drive us all there. So I did (what was I thinking??) and had a miserable evening as I started to bleed more and more. He sat at the other end of the table, steadfastedly ignoring me and refusing to leave until the bitter end. I drove us all home, and then spent a couple of hours in the bathroom as nature took its course. He told me to “bloody hurry up, I’m trying to get to sleep here” and that was the last thing he said to me for about a week.

Honest to God, looking back there were more red flags than at a communist party conference, but it took me so long to see them back then. And for a long time after I left - years - I thought it was me that was the problem. It wasn’t until I saw the pattern repeated with every subsequent relationship of his that I started to realise that it wasn’t. I actually get on really well with several of his exes now - we call ourselves The * Survivors Club 😊

Vonesk · 12/05/2024 15:55

Oh super sulker, O knew one once.
They lasted for a whole one week.
Occaisionally briefly broken each day by " Whats for Dinner."
In fact the Marriage was one Long Sulk.
Sometimes would show ' Anger' instaead of ' Sulk' like when I did not get his cutlery out. He just tipped the pudding on to the dining table and got up.

Rufusroo · 12/05/2024 16:02

Our precious first grandchild was born the day before his birthday and I wanted to visit them in hospital. He wanted to go for a Birthday Meal. I said we could stop by after the hospital at a nice pub. He whinged on and on about how he was having an awful birthday in the car going. I snapped, stopped the car and made him get out! I went to see my DD and DGD and he never got his birthday meal. It was one of the very few times I’d pulled him up on his appalling behaviour

Johnthesensible · 12/05/2024 16:03

You say sulking....that is only half the story. People don't sulk for no reason. What led up to it.

Let's not kid ourselves that men or women just sit there 'sulking'. If they are there will always be a reason. Even the phrase sulking sounds like you refering to him as a child.

I would certainly not be happy stuck in a Peppa Pig queue for 3 hours nor the long train journey. Ultimately all we have is you complaining about his sulking but no reasons for it.

The one thing most of the examples given have in common is 'cost'. Trips abroad, fancy restaurants and shows....I have this vision of bills mounting up, you booking a holiday somewhere, he hits the roof, you come here to say he is sulking about a holiday.

AllCatsAreAutistic · 12/05/2024 16:09

Johnthesensible · 12/05/2024 16:03

You say sulking....that is only half the story. People don't sulk for no reason. What led up to it.

Let's not kid ourselves that men or women just sit there 'sulking'. If they are there will always be a reason. Even the phrase sulking sounds like you refering to him as a child.

I would certainly not be happy stuck in a Peppa Pig queue for 3 hours nor the long train journey. Ultimately all we have is you complaining about his sulking but no reasons for it.

The one thing most of the examples given have in common is 'cost'. Trips abroad, fancy restaurants and shows....I have this vision of bills mounting up, you booking a holiday somewhere, he hits the roof, you come here to say he is sulking about a holiday.

They sulk because they are arseholes who think that what they want automatically takes precedence over what anybody else wants, and take umbrage when told differently.

Eliza779 · 12/05/2024 16:09

Johnthesensible · 12/05/2024 16:03

You say sulking....that is only half the story. People don't sulk for no reason. What led up to it.

Let's not kid ourselves that men or women just sit there 'sulking'. If they are there will always be a reason. Even the phrase sulking sounds like you refering to him as a child.

I would certainly not be happy stuck in a Peppa Pig queue for 3 hours nor the long train journey. Ultimately all we have is you complaining about his sulking but no reasons for it.

The one thing most of the examples given have in common is 'cost'. Trips abroad, fancy restaurants and shows....I have this vision of bills mounting up, you booking a holiday somewhere, he hits the roof, you come here to say he is sulking about a holiday.

Nonsense. Many of these ‘sulks’ were for entirely selfish reasons. In my case, many were because ex deemed his needs superior to all others, and of course, he just had to shut the door himself!

AllCatsAreAutistic · 12/05/2024 16:12

AllCatsAreAutistic · 12/05/2024 16:09

They sulk because they are arseholes who think that what they want automatically takes precedence over what anybody else wants, and take umbrage when told differently.

Oh, and I've noticed that sulkers are often mean with money too, and begrudge spending on 'trips' or 'fancy restaurants' or anything that makes most normal people happy.